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xxZeromancerlovexx
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08 Nov 2017, 5:00 pm

I can't stand it when people call me a lady. When I meet people that's what they call me but they don't know how I really am. I use swear words, sometimes wear t-shirts, sneakers and play video games and lots of them. I am cisgender. I just want people to stop labeling me based on my gender. The assumptions suck because if these people were around me more often they would know that I'm not ladylike. I'd rather be told that I'm a good person.

I am a human being. I'm not a label. I'm not what people think I am. My mind isn't filled with etiquette. It's filled with video games, music, anime and books.

Does anyone else feel the same way? I think being told "You are a very cool girl and a good person" is way more nice than "You are such a lady!" :roll:


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kraftiekortie
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10 Nov 2017, 8:17 am

Being called a "lady" means you are elegant and dignified.

I would like to be called a "gentleman" more often.

But I do get what you mean. You find "lady" degrading, because, in history, it was used as a term to "keep women in their place," with the implication that they are automatically inferior to men.

I know I have to be careful when I use the term. I have to make sure the person likes it before I use it.



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12 Nov 2017, 11:13 pm

I don't like it either. But I don't get the impression that it's a comment on your genteel, girlish personality (or lack thereof) - it's just a reference to your physical sex, especially if you're obviously a cisgender woman.
But then again I don't see the reason for this at all - why point out a person's physical sex to them? You have to assume she already knows she's a woman. Why make a point of it?
Out with an elderly relative, I got read as female in context and we collectively got "girls." We both disliked this - I am genderqueer and she is elderly. Neither of us are "girls."
And though as Kraftie pointed out sometimes men get "gentlemen" or "gents," it's not all that common. No one ever uses "men" as just a signifier of a person's physical sex, and "guys" is unisex in many situations.
I really don't know why people have to make a point of pointing out that a woman is a woman in a totally unrelated circumstance.


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white_as_snow
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12 Nov 2017, 11:16 pm

being called a lady is actually an great honor. you should be proud.



crystaltermination
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13 Nov 2017, 9:39 am

I only ever seem to be called 'lady' by small children! It's the polite form of address that I suppose kids pick up on, overhearing adults. I find it adorable... less so if it were another adult saying it, though.


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TheSilentOne
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13 Nov 2017, 10:38 am

I don't like being called a "lady" either, mostly because I don't feel like an adult yet. I feel the same way about the term "woman". I'm still a "girl" in my mind, honestly.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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14 Nov 2017, 8:57 am

In Critical Gender Studies in college, the instructors/schools make a big deal out of word choice

"Lady" has a different connotation than "woman". (I get it)

But the speaker sometimes has a different definition than you. Some speakers act like "lady" is the polite way to say "woman".

The speaker did not do anything illegal.

The speaker did not invent sexism.

Maybe the speaker did not intend any ill will

Besides even if the speaker did intend it badly, then what?

Does it make sense to drop everything and :heart: educate :mrgreen: everyone, every single time they use :lol: a single word 8O the :idea: wrong :mrgreen: way?

Because they might not be receptive to your speech. And what if they are receptive, then what?

Some of us think the correct way to refer to an adult female is "girl". But they do not (usually) call adult males "boy"

Some of us act like "what?" is the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

Some of us act like we represent an entire species or religion.

It's their :cry: attitude :cry: . Their word choice reveals their attitude

They have a legal right to be arrogant, judgmental, sexist, homophobic, racist.

They have a legal right to say whatever they want, regardless of whether it is factually accurate, annoying, or anything else

What gets on my nerves is how some of them call adult females "girls" and adult males "guys". It's :oops: boy/girl, man/woman, lady/gentleman, male /female. :D

Quite frankly I just do not voluntarily interact with anyone that uses "guy" as the equivalent of "girl"

Since sixth grade, that has been getting on my nerves

But they can say whatever they want, right or wrong

Short of taking a videotape and tattling to 911 or a civil lawsuit, what can I do?

Because maybe neither you nor I can change someone's sexist/homophobic/arrogant attitude

But the problem is that almost everyone says "guys/girls"

So I avoid almost everyone



Skilpadde
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24 Nov 2017, 2:56 am

TheSilentOne wrote:
I don't like being called a "lady" either, mostly because I don't feel like an adult yet. I feel the same way about the term "woman". I'm still a "girl" in my mind, honestly.
That is exactly how I feel about it too. Lady has nothing to do with me whatsoever, but woman isn't me either. I identify as being a girl or female.

Slightly related maybe, I don't mind words like dude, pal or mate (UK meaning, not USA) at all, nor does it bother me in the least when 'guys' is used about any number of people, including all-girls groups.


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MidnightMoon
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03 Dec 2017, 2:59 am

Don't get upset when people call you that. Unless you tell them otherwise, they won't know what else to call you. As for me, I actually don't mind being called a lady. It's a welcome relief from having people assume I'm a feminist who hates the term.


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Celifrog
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10 Dec 2017, 7:56 am

Also a female who swears too. :D



MariaTheFictionkin
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10 Dec 2017, 7:58 am

I don't mind being called a "Lady". It's actually quite charming when my boyfriend, Jack says it to me.

It would be surprising if my fiancé, Shadow started calling me that ._. Just because of the kind of guy he is. It would be odd. He tends to call me "baby girl" on occasion though, so there's that.


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Embla
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10 Dec 2017, 8:31 am

I only ever get called a lady when someone at work is talking about me to their children, so not the positive kind of lady. Like "Go ask the lady if you can borrow it" or "Say thanks to the nice Lady". That is really weird, especially since I look like I'm 16 years old, and I associate the word with someone older.
I don't think I've ever been called lady in any other situation, except maybe ironically - 'cause I'm certainly no "lady".


However, I've been called "mademoiselle" and "miss" (and the one in my language) a number of times, and I always find it both weird and flattering.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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10 Dec 2017, 9:24 am

I don't mind it at all, but I'm an old one :-) and in my long-ago youth it was often preceded by the word "Foxy" so there's that :-)


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kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2017, 5:14 pm

Jimmy Hendrix----Foxey Lady!



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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10 Dec 2017, 5:16 pm

Got it in one!

You know, I think I'll see if I can find that and put it over on the music sharing thread :-) just for old times' sake.

(Edit in: old, OLD times' sake :-) )


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kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2017, 5:23 pm

I find that Hendrix transcends time; his music will live on forever.