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Sweetleaf
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22 Dec 2017, 8:59 pm

I think in some ways they are better than the 'my child needs a cure or else devastation is the only thing they will ever experience' crowd.


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magz
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23 Dec 2017, 5:27 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
Not openly called that but there was a demeanour and attitude that even I noticed. My requests and explanations were ignored —when my Ex H and the therapists made the same requests as I had been making—it was immediately given (the services needed).

Well, it might as well be the very Aspie "You did it wrong but we can't explain you what exactly was wrong because it was obvious how it should be done and you did not do it the right way". Things about body language and immidiate reactions, I suppose. I hit this wall many times :(


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ASDMommyASDKid
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23 Dec 2017, 9:08 am

Some of that can be being female, too. The school was always impressed when my husband came too, and treated me completely differently when he was there because it meant we were taking things seriously. (Yes, his teacher told me that.) Him missing work (He was off anyway, and decided to come to the meeting. LOL) was more important than my time was. It wasn't that I was giving autism vibes either it was just because he was a man. The reason I think that was is because I was still the one doing the talking and it was solely his presence that was needed to get them to treat me with more respect.



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23 Dec 2017, 9:28 am

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
Some of that can be being female, too. The school was always impressed when my husband came too, and treated me completely differently when he was there because it meant we were taking things seriously. (Yes, his teacher told me that.) Him missing work (He was off anyway, and decided to come to the meeting. LOL) was more important than my time was. It wasn't that I was giving autism vibes either it was just because he was a man. The reason I think that was is because I was still the one doing the talking and it was solely his presence that was needed to get them to treat me with more respect.


I've had the same experience and have gotten quite angry about it in the past. If I could clearly prove it, I'd sue.

My wife speaks great English but is a not a native speaker and they know that. I think between that and maybe being female they don't take her seriously. The last meeting I had with them they admitted that she had already clearly explained an issue in a previous meeting and they had not addressed it or even attempted to.

I also can get angry and a bit loud if they are clearly not listening and not addressing issues raised. Things change quickly in the meetings if that happens. This is something my wife wouldn't do but it shouldn't be necessary.



blooiejagwa
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23 Dec 2017, 10:01 am

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
Some of that can be being female, too. The school was always impressed when my husband came too, and treated me completely differently when he was there because it meant we were taking things seriously. (Yes, his teacher told me that.) Him missing work (He was off anyway, and decided to come to the meeting. LOL) was more important than my time was. It wasn't that I was giving autism vibes either it was just because he was a man. The reason I think that was is because I was still the one doing the talking and it was solely his presence that was needed to get them to treat me with more respect.

I actually mentioned this to Ex H many times in the past- eg. 'i communicated such and such thing to the therapist, but because it seems she values a man's input more...'
'the teachers might listen to you because your status as a man makes you more persuasive.'
etc
It really is true! It even works man to man, i.e. men will believe other men more, assuming they are less emotional and more rational. I noticed this with my lawyer and Xh. He seemed to believe XH's lie, after meeting him, despite written records with pictures I had been making, of kids' routines.

One always wonders whether it is down to coming off as 'odd' (aspie) or being female.


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ASDMommyASDKid
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26 Dec 2017, 7:35 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
It really is true! It even works man to man, i.e. men will believe other men more, assuming they are less emotional and more rational. I noticed this with my lawyer and Xh. He seemed to believe XH's lie, after meeting him, despite written records with pictures I had been making, of kids' routines.

One always wonders whether it is down to coming off as 'odd' (aspie) or being female.


The sad thing is that my husband was the only male there. They were all women. I joked with my husband that I was glad his sex organ was able to make the meeting because it made things go more smoothly. :) :oops: :)



fluffysaurus
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27 Dec 2017, 6:19 am

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
It really is true! It even works man to man, i.e. men will believe other men more, assuming they are less emotional and more rational. I noticed this with my lawyer and Xh. He seemed to believe XH's lie, after meeting him, despite written records with pictures I had been making, of kids' routines.

One always wonders whether it is down to coming off as 'odd' (aspie) or being female.


The sad thing is that my husband was the only male there. They were all women. I joked with my husband that I was glad his sex organ was able to make the meeting because it made things go more smoothly. :) :oops: :)


This does not surprise me. Women often choose to follow a man's advice rather than another woman's, in fact I notice this more with female colleagues than male ones. I've had my advice and years of experience ignored, only for colleagues (female) to ask the Saturday lad. Particularly anything maths related :evil: