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ASPartOfMe
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Age: 63
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Location: Long Island, New York

27 Nov 2017, 1:24 pm

A good career in the 1980's and ok to middling one 1990-2004, that's it.


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Clakker
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27 Nov 2017, 1:47 pm

MagicKnight wrote:
Clakker wrote:
I’m curious did you feel “worse of all creatures” because you felt that all these benchmarks are an illusion and not worth striving for?


There's so much social pressure on people who are single and trying to figure out how to live a meaningful existence on this planet in their own terms that at times, there's no other aftermath than that of depression for being a total outcast. If you are interested, watch a movie called "The Lobster" directed by Yorgos Lanthimos. That movie tells a lot about this.


I will. Thank you, for the tip. I myself have only the experience of being single, perhaps, less than 1/3 of my adulthood, nevertheless, the woman I dated where all not very social (few friends, childless) and lived heavily career focused non traditional lives. The social pressure of being single in the US isn’t very high unless you are as you say an outcast. Being career focused isn’t really something negative in the bigger cities here.


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goldfish21
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29 Nov 2017, 4:12 am

Clakker wrote:
1. Romance
2. Marriage
3. Children
4. Career
5. Home Ownership
6. Friends


1. Romance

It's never really happened for me.. yet, at least. I've had a few extremely intense crushes I wish would have worked out, but the feeling wasn't mutual. I'm friends with all of them, though, and I'd much rather have that forever than not have them in my life at all. Never know though, maybe someday it'll happen. Maybe not? There are other things in life.

2. Marriage

Uh, verrrry distant second. I haven't ever really had that as my goal, or been completely opposed to it, either. As a gay man it's legal and all now, but I've never really felt any desire to get married - only envy of couples, some married, some not.

3. Children

I love kids, but I don't know if I'd ever want my own. I keep a pretty busy schedule so it's hard enough to house sit peoples' pets. Besides, I have God kids & nephews etc to hangout with, teach, play with, spoil etc so I'm pretty good with that. 8) Also, I have other pursuits in life from sports to future academic studies that would be much more challenging, if not impossible, if I were also raising a family.

4. Career

I've always worked, but had a few years where I couldn't, and haven't really ever risen through the ranks & achieved a high income. However, I'm currently apprenticing a construction trade as a financial investment in myself - my income is down right now in the beginning, but over the next few years my income will be 2-3x+ what it used to be. At least I'm on A path that'll earn me a decent living and quality of life. (or the ability to fund my next academic education..)

5. Home Ownership

Nope, just homo. The real estate market here is through the stratosphere so I've stopped caring about ever buying any form of home, whether a condo or house. F it, less stress. As long as I can rent at a reasonable price from family my money is better invested elsewhere. Also, our twisted super overpriced real estate market makes other things seem relatively inexpensive and a better value - i.e. spending a the better part of a decade and half a million dollars in University again if I can make the grade to just keep going. Time will tell, but home ownership? Nah, lol, not here.. maybe if I buy some cheap shack in an entirely different market as a rental property some year, but otherwise, naaaah F that - it's Vancouver. Houses cost millions, incomes are among the lowest in Canada.

6. Friends

This one I feel like I've won the lottery on. I'm truly blessed with a Lot of good friends from various parts of my life (past workplaces, schools, local gay community, parties, beaches, sports etc) and a handful of absolutely wonderful close friends & their families. I have a lot of love, appreciation, and gratitude for those friends in my life and I express it often.



Hmm, so that's ~ 1 out of 6 :lol: By the numbers you'd think I might be pretty miserable, but the opposite is true. I'm very Ok with where I am on all of these major milestones & feel like I live a much happier and fulfilling life than this score should indicate. Amazing friends I love, kiteboarding in the Summer time, living here in a temperate rainforest by the ocean with mountain views.. not being a "successful," adult at adulting doesn't really dim my light. I'm doing fine. 8)


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