OKC Profile

Post Reply New Topic

I actually thought it was a personal attack. This is why the internet is difficult, no tones. No offence taken.

I personally can’t stand profiles like that, but I’m not an NT woman, or probably not a typical aspie woman either!

That's AOK. I guess one size doesn't fit all.

Eh, I’m surprised you didn’t ask me why. I guess you somehow didn’t want my brutal honesty.

It came across as a vapid NT profile to you by the sounds of it. What you said was enough to gauge that. It's a fair opinion. I'm playful at times and I'm trying to convey it and keep it brief. Sharing too much..what's left to talk about on the date?

I don't mind brutally honest, so long as there is a purpose to it or say a solution. Anyone can point out problems, but not everyone can provide solutions.

I just don’t find that sense of humour on those types of profiles funny. Some can manage it, a lot can’t and just aren’t funny. The playfulness seems overdone too. But again, I’m not an NT woman. And honestly, it feels fake from you. I think you need to be more yourself.

4 years is a long time, you know. People do change. Though I get why this might come as a surprise or that you might feel not all change is for the best.

My experiences, knowledge and all that remains but life can drag you through some glass and give you sandpaper for band aids. It's just what it is.

And frankly, I've found over the years my essay-like monologues are wasted on people. It's better just to internalise those things and open that door when it comes to it. Today I had a great conversation about tax with somebody who studied tax law as a graduate. She and I held a lot of the same opinions about it and it was really enlightening hearing someone discuss it from the perspective of aiding corporate clients. But you know, that is a conversation much like politics and world news that has a time and a place. And IMO that place is not on a dating profile.

We all know that the only way for a profile to excite you is to include the bank statement.

All I can say is that, like most female profiles I saw, there is nothing here that I haven't seen a hundred times before and it also feels like the humour is forced. I think that's more of a statement on how it's so hard to put your personality in such a short snippet and why online dating doesn't work that well rather than anything you did wrong.

It's a catch 22. Most people's lives can't be summed up in a bunch of text boxes and it's an injustice.
We have so much to offer and to say. But who the hell is gonna read line after line of text?

The profiles that I did see filled out, when I took the time to read through them came across equally as pretentious if not negative. I work on the basis that if you say enough things in a short space of time you are bound to annoy somebody at some point.

In the pursuit of trying to stand out, people lose sight of the fact that many just want someone that blends in and would be accepted by their family and peers.

I can see why it feels forced to you and smudge. But did you ever consider it may come across as forced to you, because if put in those shoes you'd personally have to force yourself to talk like that rather than I myself am forcing such a dialogue?

Before I ever dated once I said to everyone the woman who falls in love with me will be someone who doesn't make snap judgements as my best qualities are not immediately obvious. That is why online (and now mobile) dating flat out sucks. Women (and likely men) expect you to instantly wow them on a 30 minute date and to nobody's surprise, nobody outside of 'bad boys' can generally do that.


Online dating profiles remind me of the 'nonconformist' kids in school. It never dawned on them how ironic it was that a group that prided itself on being individualist was the most conformist of all. People on dating sites seem to think they are being hip, original and unique but 90% of profiles are the same... and most of the other 10% are of seriously messed up people.

Ugh, profiles. This seems like something that is so difficult to do. How can you represent yourself honestly in this formulaic way? It's like any potential partner is reviewing your job application.
There isn't much there about you really. Just your preferences in food and movies, don't really tell anyone much. How much room do you have to make it a bit more different?
Overall the tone seems to imply you think this is all a bit of a bad joke but are willing to give it a shot anyway and see what happens. That might appeal to someone of a similar perspective, or be skimmed by someone who is looking for more seriousness.

Here is the bottom line. I am married now but if I were to magically find myself single and saw my wife's profile, I would bypass her. After all, our main hobbies and interests are different, our favourite foods could not be more opposite if we tried and our ages are not the same. I know I would bypass her profile because I did. Twice.

But it is a bit of a bad joke.

It would also seem that the people intent on giving me advice who are essentially the target market wouldn't change their opinion on me or date me even if I took their advice, which would in my mind make their advice somewhat disingenuous. Being told to make a more interesting profile - for who exactly? Make a more deep and meaningful (laymen's - pretentious!) profile to attract more likes, because somehow it is more "honest" than the muck I originally spread.

Come on, it's a bit of a bad joke, really.
Online dating comes in 2 extremes - you are either too good to need it but set one up just to satisfy an ego, or you are too in need of it that you're doomed to endless unhappy pairings until you find someone equally as miserable and dependant.

I've also signed up to an Ace site, which seems to act more like a community not dissimilar to WP because surprise surprise Ace people have no libido and thus little desire to initiate or see things through by meeting up, dating, or even adding each other on a communication app!

I've come to the conclusion that aside from a couple of the women who may have liked my profile (there's 11 likes now), a lot of them aren't real likes but the dating site is adamant on making me pay. It's even started to hide the women it told me were mutual likes from my likes page. I could get more likes by uploading more/better photos. I could get more likes from hipsters if I write intellectual voodoo in my profile that I'd rather share in person. But these likes won't result in anything, and the pool will not change.

I'll keep the profiles active just because I enjoy reading the profiles currently up, but will stick to what has been working which is meeting women locally and in person through networking. It's old fashioned but it works. The downside is no meaningful connections seem to be made, but with enough times lightning may strike.

When it comes to online dating, the more you write in your profile the better. I don't want to share mine for privacy reasons, but I pretty much wrote a book as an answer for each of the questions. Part of the beauty of online dating is that it allows you to be brutally honest about who you are and what you're looking for, so the more you can lay out there of yourself, the better. Even if I have a 90%+ match with someone, if they have less than 3 photos, and/or they haven't written much, I usually don't respond. If all I see is a face, I might as well have gone to a bar.

Your's is definitely more complete than many other profiles I've seen, but you could expand on the questions. Especially about what you are looking for. As long as you answer thoroughly, there are no right or wrong answers. Besides, you want to appeal to those you're a good match with, and repel those who you aren't!

Wrong.

Most female profiles I come across are 10 lines max.