A meetup group seems like a good idea

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I did a search on meetup dot com for aspie dating groups, and guess what, there are none. I sense an opportunity.

I think there's a general consensus that online dating is dying because there are just too many ways that dishonest and insincere people can join those sites and mess around, so a meetup group is the answer for those of us who are more serious. Many of the sites themselves are dishonest.

Unlike online dating sites, meetup groups don't have to worry much about trolls showing up in person, because trolls don't like getting beaten up any more than the rest of us do.

A nice perk about forming an aspies' meetup group is that we wouldn't have to deal with NTs' silly guessing games, deciphering their nonverbal flirt cues, or decoding their roundabout lingo. We could just say outright to that guy or girl that we think they're attractive.

And we wouldn't have to worry about Big Dating Corp elbowing their way in to swallow our group up, because NTs think of us as "defective goods"... to them, taking over our meetup group would be like trying to annex a leper colony. Being marginal CAN have its advantages.

I'd be willing to start such a group and host it myself.

There’s not aspie groups on meet up here. Meet up here seems to be mostly for rich people to meet up and do rich people stuff. Like hiking trips to France.

I don’t want to make a aspie group as you have to have an account and it’d be like screaming from a roof top I’m autistic. I don’t want anyone knowing I’m defective

An aspie dating group would be dominated by men, which would make it a waste of time for the men and put a lot of attention on the women which could easily make them uncomfortable, so it'll suck for everyone. Better off just doing a casual meetup than a dating-oriented one.

Since pure socializing would scare many an aspie away, it would be great to focus on your hobbies and find others who share your passions - always a great foundation for a relationship! You could add that you want the atmosphere to be low key and that you are hoping for a mixed group so that your target gender will feel welcome.
You may also want to set an age range. This always conveys to me a more "dating-friendly" suggestion.

Aspergers is diagnosed 4x more in men than women, Some Aspie women have an easier time with dating NT guys than Aspie guys dating NT women, & also from what I've seen on this forum there's plenty of Aspie women who have a negative opinion of Aspie guys & would rather be alone than date one.

And apparently there's so much hate between them anyway.

Wrongplanet women falsely think that only aspie men think like that of women (usually general negative opinion of women, hypergamy and gold digging...etc); what they don't realize that it's the same across the whole manosphere.
Go and see any bunch of super extrovert NT men-only outing (including married men for the record), and when they talk about women all Political correctness is threw out of the window, the only difference is that NT men play it smartly PC in front of women.

You could open it up to anyone open to dating someone with a disability.

I ran a couple of meetup groups over the years.
They're a great means of meeting like minded people for activities or discussion.

*sigh* and yes, the most common thing people use these for is to find a date or hookup under the guise of sharing an interest. This is why so many "local" meetups are just people going to restaurants, getting drunk and trying to sound more interesting than they really are.

But don't take my cynicism as a downer. I just have a major hangup about ulterior motives for things.

I've actively encouraged people in the past to take part in meetups because it really does work and the bonus is you will find someone who shares your interests. Even if you don't hit it off you will at least make some friends and in the long run that makes for a better quality of social life. Meetup IMO is probably better than dating sites.

I haven't even though about it, but this is absolutely true. Maybe it's because it's easier not to care about it, if you try to isolate the issue only to aspie men, instead of realizing that maybe leonardo dicaprio thinks the same. Of course leo would never tell you, because it would put his career at risk.

And this is a general thing with NT men, they are much more careful socially, so they will only tell you what they really think 1 on 1. Aspie men fall into 2 groups, either they are not aware of the social rules, or they flat out just don't care about following them.

The latter of the 2 is more fun.

You gotta go to where people are more wholesome. Hiking is a great way to meet active people that typically don't have a drinking problem. Everyone I meet that's outdoors experiencing nature is 99% of the time in a good mood. And its something you can do together. You know? Because what public areas can two people share the same hobby? (that doesn't cost too much money) There's clubs like adult sports and stuff, but you gotta enjoy the venue for sure.

There's a ski lodge I went to up in Mammoth for vacation.
All really healthy, wholesome, happy, sociable people. Everyone was really welcoming and friendly. I felt at home with my kinda people. But I learned that I gotta be easy-going and care-free to make a social connection.

I live in a big city here. The bars are always a joke. The other alternatives are restaurants and coffee shops. (Which sitting down and talking in the only activity)

There's NT's I know who are judging and some who are understanding. Everyone judges in their head.
The poor people here in the city are very disagreeable, needy, greedy, asking for a handout, but that's because we are overpopulated here without enough jobs.
People in Suburban areas are typically happier because most of their needs are meet or exceeded.

You really have to look for your kind of people. I fit in with the wholesome, healthy, down-to-earth, non-judging and have fun group. I can only relate to people out here in the city like 2% of the time. Mediocre friends are overrated anyway.

But hey, nobody really wants to hang out with anyone if they are uptight or boring. I could have more fun by myself instead of having friends just to have friends.

Hey. I am an aspie but have really work dilligently to understand the rules. There isn't that many of them, but its more on the people you talk to. Someone who is materialistic and is overly focused on flashy things won't really relate to someone who is creative or has new ideas. But I have really had to work on my eye contact and facial expressions. I force myself to change tone and pause. It's tough, but I can tell you, its a lot better than hearing the monotonous old me.

Nobody likes a jerk, even if its unintentional. (I don't expect the world to revolve around me, or a special group of people, because thats BS) I can tell you laying off the porn 100% made me much more confident and better with body language. Changing up my diet and being more disciplined is where its at.

I'm afraid I don't get what a majority of that had to do with meetup groups.
Seemed more like a monologue.

Having said that, finding skiing groups in the UK would be awesome.
There aren't that many dry slopes in the UK and it sound like a fun activity to meet people through.

Hiking is great, I’ve my known my current best friend through it.

My problem with hiking is there aren’t buses to the wilderness.
Haven’t been hiking, camping or shooting since my car died. Just can’t get to the wilderness.

Meet up seems for middle class people to me. Maybe it’d be different in New York City.

Fyi looks like Portland has two female only aspie groups but no male ones 0.o