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Scoots5012
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27 Jul 2004, 3:44 am

tazdevil wrote:
Recently we had a new neighbor move in and he has befriended Jacob. This is a 60 year old man, who is determined to get jacob inside, coaxing him with video games, toys etc..I am always with Jacob when outdoors, so I can keep an eye out for him, but it worries me that he is gaining my sons trust, and you can never be too sure these days...


Might I suggest trying to look into this persons past? Just my own intuition going here, but anyone who tries to lure little kids into their homes by dangling carrots out in front of them is someone who needs to be kept an eye one.


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neolestat
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10 Nov 2004, 5:45 pm

TazDevil wrote:
Thanks. Am trying all sorts of things..Recently we had a new neighbor move in and he has befriended Jacob. This is a 60 year old man, who is determined to get jacob inside, coaxing him with video games, toys etc..I am always with Jacob when outdoors, so I can keep an eye out for him, but it worries me that he is gaining my sons trust, and you can never be too sure these days...
You see, although I try to explain stranger Danger to him, there are alsao persons whom are known to us that could potentially get his trust and harm him...Am I being too worried??


I'm with Scoots5012... Any guy that wants to 'coax' a seven y/o into his house with video games and toys is probably a serious danger to your son. Didn't this kind of wave red flags at you? Forget Stranger Danger warnings... Ban your son from any contact with this guy, call the cops and have him checked out too. If he is genuine, he won't mind at all, if he has a pc full of kiddy porn he deserves to be locked away. Didn't this strike you as odd?



UltimApe
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10 Nov 2004, 8:32 pm

I'd be frank, explain to him the scary stuff in life.

But assure him that they can be avoided if you simply follow some basic rules.

Assure him that he hasn't to worrie about it every pressing moment, because there are alot of good people out there.

Let him know that these rules are there because you love him, and that you don't want him making bad decisions that might depart to two of you.

----

in most cases, it is often NOT the stranger whom kindnapps children, tis actually a family member or family friend who would by no deffinition be a "stranger"

- so it might be better to explain to him certain situations where someone might be trying to get him to do somethign that he shouldn't. Explain to him how they might know something that he doesnt, and might be using that knowlege to lure him into their grasp.

its really easy to say to a child "don't take candy from strangers". but if you actually illustrate WHY you dont' take candy from strangers, and WHY strangers can be dangerous, and WHY it is dangerous, the child will likely succeed in those cercumstance where things could go wrong.

You might even want to create "secure" situations where the person would be a stranger to the child, and try to get the child to go somewere with him. (and if the child behaves inappropriately, come out of hiding and ask him what he is doing in a manner to shed light on why what he is doing is dangerous). This will get him thinking about how fikkle such situations are, and have it more up on his mind when he meets a "stranger".
----

children aren't dumb, so don't dumb it down into simple phrases and expect them to understand it in a more complex way.

Expain it to them in a complex way, but not in a complex language. Use simle words but potray detailed ideas.



MONIQUEIJ
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03 Jul 2010, 6:20 pm

with me i plann to scar my kids. by saying this. " Mommy don't have 10,0000 for a funeral so don't go with no one unless it's me, your father, or someone we told you to go with okay,"

or I'm gonna say. unless you want me to die if worry don't talk to people.

or you can get books and videos :lol: :lol:



Chronos
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04 Jul 2010, 1:23 am

TazDevil wrote:
Hi, It's Jacob's Mum here.. Was wondering if anyone can help me with new ways to explain "Stranger Danger" to jacob [age 7].. I have attempted to explain in so many ways but so far have no luck. He says a person is not a stranger if they give you a name. Logical right!
Any suggestions would be very helpful. :roll:


This was never an issue with me. My parents actually let me go off on my own because they knew I wouldn't let anyone near me or talk to anyone.

But many of the other children my age had passwords. The child would choose a password they could remember. The parents and child would sit down and make a lit of people to give the password to. The child was not allowed to tell anyone the password.

If the person was not on the list of those who knew the password, or another child, or a police officer, the person was a stranger.

Or you could try some puppet shows to give him examples.



SaNcheNuSS
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04 Jul 2010, 1:55 am

haha. only on earth.



DandelionFireworks
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05 Jul 2010, 2:48 am

First, bear in mind that these are the beliefs that are going to stick with him forever, all the way into adulthood, so do it right the first time.

Explain to him what might happen. Don't leave anything out. Tell every gory detail he's capable of understanding, and hint darkly at things he isn't. Elaborate on every possibility, no matter how remote. And explain to him that any person has the potential to do any of that to him. Any person at all.

However, the people who love you and like you have positive feelings toward you. The strongest of these are usually someone's parents, but if you were adopted or raised by your grandparents or an aunt and uncle or only one parent, then it's whoever raised you, and that feeling means they won't hurt you, and will keep you from getting hurt when they can. (But they can only do that when they can see you. If your parents can't see you, their love won't help you.) Then it's probably grandparents, and maybe some more family members. Then your best friend, and then your other friends. Your family members will need to get something really nice to want to hurt you (on the order of a new PS3 or whatever he's familiar with). (Bear in mind that this only applies to family members you see regularly. Regularly here means once a month or more. Otherwise they go either after friends-- for ones you see every Christmas-- or are booted off the list.) Your best friend will need something a little less nice (on the order of a whole cake, or something he'll understand). Your other friends will only want a little thing (on the order of a lollipop) to convince them to hurt you.

Everyone else either has no feelings about you, or wants to hurt you. If you come up to someone, they have to start having feelings about you. They might become a friend, or they might decide to hurt you. Grown-ups have a long time of learning how to guess which way someone will react, so they're a little safer than kids. People like you, who rock/squeal/hand-flap/symptom-du-jour, make people want to hurt you more than other people.

As for people you don't talk to, if they can see you, and you stim in their presence, they usually want you to get hurt, but they don't want it badly enough to do it themselves. Stay away from them and make sure they don't see you very much, and make sure you don't stim in public because someone might be spying.

And you're not lying, and you're explaining the why of everything this way.


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