Them too - The Reckoning thread

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Leslie Moonves, the longtime chief executive of the CBS Corporation, stepped down on Sunday night from the company he led for 15 years. His fall from Hollywood’s highest echelon was all but sealed after the publication earlier in the day of new sexual harassment allegations against him.

The CBS board announced his departure, effective immediately. As part of the agreement, the network said it would donate $20 million to one or more organizations that support equality for women in the workplace. The donation will be deducted from a potential severance benefit to Mr. Moonves, although he could still walk away with more than $120 million, according to two people familiar with the settlement agreement.

Mr. Moonves, however, will not receive any severance payment, until the completion of an independent investigation into the allegations, the board said. He could also receive nothing, based on the investigation’s results.

Joseph Ianniello, the chief operating officer of CBS and one of Mr. Moonves’s closest advisers, was named the interim chief executive.

When the most recent television season ended in May, CBS was the nation’s most-watched network for the 10th consecutive year — an accomplishment that had made Mr. Moonves one of the most powerful figures in Hollywood. Now his departure has helped cast the future fortunes of the company in doubt.

That Mr. Moonves could receive any money for stepping away from CBS in the wake of the allegations outraged many in the entertainment industry and in the #MeToo movement.

The incidents described in the two articles went back to the 1980s and brought the number of women now accusing Mr. Moonves of harassment to 12.

Mr. Moonves didn’t respond to requests for comment from The New York Times on Sunday, but told The New Yorker, “The appalling accusations in this article are untrue.” He admitted to "consensual relations” with three of the women.

“In my 40 years of work, I have never before heard of such disturbing accusations,” Mr. Moonves continued. “I can only surmise they are surfacing now for the first time, decades later, as part of a concerted effort by others to destroy my name, my reputation, and my career.”

Public reaction to the latest allegations against Mr. Moonves was swift. Rachel Bloom, the star and co-creator of “Crazy Ex Girlfriend,” which airs on the CW, a network jointly owned by CBS and Warner Media, said on Twitter after The New Yorker article was published that Mr. Moonves should be fired without receiving any money, adding an expletive.

“Saturday Night Live” veteran Norm Macdonald was dropped from the guest lineup for Tuesday’s episode of “The Tonight Show” after making controversial comments this week regarding the #MeToo movement, Roseanne Barr and Louis C.K.

In a statement to The Times on Wednesday, NBC said it decided to cancel his appearance “out of sensitivity to our audience and in light of Norm Macdonald’s comments in the press [Tuesday].”

The comedian had been slated to plug his Netflix talk show, “Norm Macdonald Has a Show,” which debuts Friday. But his commentary in the Hollywood Reporter published earlier that day derailed the promotional stop.

In a Q&A, Macdonald said he was “happy the #MeToo movement has slowed down a little bit.”

“It used to be, ‘One hundred women can’t be lying.’ And then it became, ‘One woman can’t lie.’ And that became, ‘I believe all women.’ And then you’re like, ‘What?’ Like, that Chris Hardwick guy I really thought got the blunt end of the stick there,” he said.

Macdonald also said people used to receive a second chance, but, “now it's admit wrongdoing and you’re finished. And so the only way to survive is to deny, deny, deny. That’s not healthy — that there is no forgiveness.”

Hours after the interview was published online and the backlash ensued, Macdonald tweeted an apology, saying Barr and C.K “both made terrible mistakes” and he would never defend their actions.

“If my words sounded like I was minimizing the pain that their victims feel to this day, I am deeply sorry,” he tweeted.

Norm Macdonald on Thursday continued to dig himself out of a hole following his string of controversial comments and apologies while promoting his new Netflix talk show, “Norm Macdonald Has a Show.”

The comedian appeared on ABC’s “The View” and apologized for saying on “The Howard Stern Show” on Wednesday that “you’d have to have Down syndrome to not feel sorry” for victims of sexual abuse. Ironically, Macdonald made the comment while apologizing for his #MeToo remarks.

“It’s always bad when you have to apologize for an apology,” Macdonald told “The View” co-hosts. “There is a thing with Howard where there’s a recklessness in the studio.”

“There’s a word we used to use to mean stupid I was about to say that word, and then I stopped and thought about what’s the right word to say. I realized at that moment I did something unforgivable,” he added.

Macdonald continued his apology, saying his Down syndrome comment “was a terrible, terrible thing for [him] to say.”

Ronald Reagan’s daughter was raped 40 years ago. But she didn’t speak of it for several years, Patti Davis revealed in a powerful Washington Post op-ed Friday.

“I never told anyone for decades — not a friend, not a boyfriend, not a therapist, not my husband when I got married years later,” noted Davis, an author. Nor did she remember some important details of the attack.

Both situations are common for survivors of assault, according to experts.

In Davis’ case, the attack occurred when she met with a music executive in his office about songs she had written. “He was ... on top of me — so quickly — with his hands under my skirt and his mouth on mine, that I froze,” she recalled. “I lay there as he pushed himself inside me.”

She no longer remembers what month it was, if the executive’s assistant was outside the door, what her attacker said.

“It doesn’t surprise me one bit that for more than 30 years, Christine Blasey Ford didn’t talk about the assault she remembers,” Davis added. Nor does it surprise her that Blasey doesn’t remember where it occurred or the specific day.

State authorities are investigating allegations that several longtime professors at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in Manhattan committed a wide range of crimes and other misconduct, according to documents and people briefed on the inquiry.

The allegations include the use and sale of drugs on campus, the attempt to coerce women into prostitution, and rape.

The criminal investigation, which is being conducted by the New York State inspector general and the Manhattan district attorney and is examining conduct dating to 2014, is in its early stages and the authorities have not independently corroborated the allegations, several of the people said.

Four of the professors have been placed on paid administrative leave, officials said. Lawyers for all four professors forcefully denied wrongdoing, with three issuing lengthy statements, an unusual response to a continuing criminal investigation.
Most of the professors named in two complaints filed with the college have been longtime fixtures in John Jay’s anthropology and sociology departments who have done extensive research on the history of drug use and prostitution.

The allegations, if proven, would suggest that a small group of faculty at the Midtown campus, long the choice of police and correction officers and others in law enforcement, presided over an academic underworld. Drug use and sex were said to be common in the offices of some professors and in an area known as “the Swamp” in one of the school’s buildings.

One question looming over the investigation, two of the people briefed on it said, is why the college, which has been aware of the allegations since at least May, conducted an internal review before contacting the police or prosecutors. The college has close ties to law enforcement.

Security officers for the college, apparently in mid-August, found significant quantities of drugs and drug paraphernalia during the internal inquiry, but they did not contact the police about the seizures until this month, two of the people said.

And when they did, they turned the drugs over to the police without disclosing their inquiry or the circumstances under which they were recovered, one of the people said.
John Milgrim, a spokesman for the inspector general, Catherine Leahy Scott, confirmed that the agency, along with prosecutors in the office of the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus R. Vance Jr., is investigating the allegations.

The allegations against the professors were made in two complaints filed in May, according to copies of the documents, which were obtained by The New York Times. Although four John Jay professors were put on paid administrative leave, the complaints also include allegations against other John Jay professors.

One of the complaints was made by Claudia Cojocaru, 39, a former student who is now an adjunct professor at John Jay. She wrote that years before she came to the college she had been a sex-trafficking victim and later worked to rescue other women. The other was submitted by Naomi Haber, 24, a recent John Jay graduate.
In a phone interview Saturday night with the two women, they confirmed the allegations in their complaints and criticized the investigation conducted by John Jay.

“They were incredibly rude and victim-degrading,” Ms. Cojocaru said. “They made us perform like circus animals, distorted the facts, and distorted what we talked about. They tried to brush the whole thing under the rug, so to speak. They retraumatized us by making us relive all sorts of traumatic experiences.”

The women first told their story to The New York Post, which published their account on Saturday.

Their complaints detail an array of misconduct, including an allegation that a professor raped a student at a conference outside New York. That professor was not among the four who were put on paid administrative leave. And the victim identified in the complaints was neither Ms. Cojocaru nor Ms. Haber.

The four professors who were put on leave included Anthony Marcus and Richard S. Curtis, who is known as Ric and is an expert on drug markets. Both have been chairs of the anthropology department.

The other two are Barry Spunt, a former chair of the sociology department, and Leonardo Dominguez, who is an epidemiologist and adjunct professor who worked with Professor Curtis and others on a project on opiate users.

Robert Herbst, who represents Professor Curtis, called the allegations “false, malicious and scurrilous,” adding that Professor Curtis is “a widely respected and highly popular professor.”

Professor Marcus’s lawyer, Scott Simpson, said his client “adamantly denied the allegations.”

A lawyer for Professor Spunt, Carmen Jack Giordano, said the allegations were “vicious and defamatory” and that his client was “completely innocent.”
“It’s a shame how people with hidden agendas and nefarious intentions can manipulate the system and the public in the name of #metoo,” Mr. Giordano said.

Padma Lakshmi is saying "me too."

The "Top Chef" host, 48, opened up about why she didn't tell anyone about being raped at 16 in light of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, as well as more recent allegations from Deborah Ramirez.

"On Friday, President Trump tweeted that if what Dr. Blasey said was true, she would have filed a police report years ago," Lakshmi wrote in an op-ed in The New York Times published Tuesday. "But I understand why both women would keep this information to themselves. For years, I did the same thing."

Until now.

Lakshmi revealed on Twitter Friday that she was "date raped" by her boyfriend, using the hashtag #WhyIDidntReport, which has become an outlet for survivors to share why they never came forward with assault allegations following Trump's remarks.

Lakshmi went into detail about her "excruciating" experience. She said she was dating a "charming and handsome" 23-year-old college student whom she worked with at a Los Angeles mall. But a few months into their relationship, Lakshmi said he took advantage of her when she fell asleep on his bed.

"The next thing I remember is waking up to a very sharp stabbing pain like a knife blade between my legs," she wrote in the op-ed. "He was on top of me. I asked, 'What are you doing?' He said, 'It will only hurt for a while.' 'Please don’t do this,' I screamed."

She continued: "Afterward, he said, 'I thought it would hurt less if you were asleep.' Then he drove me home."

Although "it doesn't matter," the TV host declared she wasn't drunk or wearing anything promiscuous, but still blamed herself for what happened because there wasn't any "language in the 1980s for date rape." At the time of the assault, Lakshmi was a virgin.

"I’d always thought that when I lost my virginity, it would be a big deal – or at least a conscious decision," she wrote. "In my mind, when I one day had intercourse, it would be to express love, to share pleasure or to have a baby. This was clearly none of those things."

Padma Lakshmi
@PadmaLakshmi

"I was 7 the first time I was sexually assaulted. He was a relative of my mom’s second husband. I told my folks and they sent me away. #WhyIDidntReport"

Counselor to the president Kellyanne Conway said on live television Sunday that she is a victim of sexual assault.

The White House advisor was on CNN's “State of the Union” to discuss the Kavanaugh hearings and FBI investigation into allegations against Kavanaugh with Jake Tapper.

"I feel very empathetic, frankly, for victims of sexual assault and sexual harassment and rape," she said.

Conway then stopped for a moment, looked down, and cleared her throat.

"I'm a victim of sexual assault. I don't expect Judge Kavanaugh or Jake Tapper or Jeff Flake or anybody to be held responsible for that. You have to be responsible for your own conduct,” she said.

All women can't -- you know, I want those women who -- who were sexually assaulted the other day who were confronting Jeff Flake, God bless them," Conway said. "But go blame the perpetrator."

Jake Tapper, who was startled by the on-air revelation, apologized for Conway suffering that experience.

"This is the first time I have ever heard you talk about something personal like that. And I'm really sorry," Tapper said.

Conway, formerly Trump’s campaign manager, went on to say that she thinks victims and perpetrators of sexual assault are treated differently based on their gender or politics, and that victims like Dr. Ford should be heard in a court of law.

"They should be heard in depositions. They should be heard in proceedings. Those who -- who can prosecute, those who have civil and/or criminal causes of action should pursue that," Conway said.

"But we do treat people differently who are either the victims or the perpetrators of this based on their politics now and based on their gender. That is a huge mistake."

In an op-ed written in the form of a letter to Blasey Ford published in The Washington Post Wednesday, Chung, 72, revealed she was sexually assaulted while she was in college in the 1960s.

“I have kept my dirty little secret to myself,” Chung began. “The molester was our trusted family doctor. What made this monster even more reprehensible was that he was the very doctor who delivered me.”

Then a virgin but wanting to safe as the sexual revolution took hold around the country, Chung explained she went to see her doctor to ask for birth-control pills.

In great detail, the veteran news anchor detailed how her doctor sexually assaulted her during a gynecological examination.

At the time, I think I may have told one of my sisters. I certainly did not tell my parents. I did not report him to authorities. It never crossed my mind to protect other women,” Chung wrote.

“Please understand, I was actually embarrassed about my sexual naïveté. I was in my 20s and knew nothing about sex. All I wanted to do was bury the incident in my mind and protect my family.”

Chung also revealed her doctor, who she did not name, died 20 years ago. “I’ve driven past his home/office many times but refuse to look at it. Just yesterday, I found the house on Google Maps. Seeing it again, I freaked out.”

Like many women, Chung, who has worked for a number of outlets including CBS, feared what would become of her career if she came forward. “Will my legacy as a television journalist for 30-plus years be relegated to a footnote? Will ‘She Too’ be etched on my tombstone instead?”

Sexual misconduct accusations against Arnold Schwarzenegger came years before Harvey Weinstein and other powerful men in Hollywood were called out in the #MeToo movement.

Multiple women accused Schwarzenegger of having touched them in a sexual way without their permission during his 2003 run for the California governor’s seat. He apologized at the time for having “behaved badly” toward women over the years, but he also said that he couldn’t remember exactly what he’d done, since some of the accusations were from decades before. “Most of it is not true,” he said at the time. In 2011, the Terminator star admitted to fathering a child with his family housekeeper during his marriage to now ex-wife Maria Shriver.

Schwarzenegger, 71, spoke to Men’s Health about whether, if he could go back in time, he would want to treat the women in his life differently.

Looking back, I stepped over the line several times, and I was the first one to say sorry. I feel bad about it, and I apologize,” Schwarzenegger said. “When I became governor, I wanted to make sure that no one, including me, ever makes this mistake. That’s why we took sexual harassment courses, to have a clear understanding, from a legal point of view and also from a regular-behavior point of view, of what is accepted and what is not.”

After Schwarzenegger was elected, despite the sexual misconduct accusations, he and his staff participated in a course on preventing sexual harassment.

The Expendables actor also said in the interview that his take on masculinity has stayed the same in the age of #MeToo.

“I’ve not changed my view. I’m a guy,” he said. “I would not change my view of who I am. The woman I was originally most in love with was my mother. I respected her, and she was a fantastic woman. I always had respect for women.”

What has changed is his opinion about referring to his political opponents as “girlie men,” which he did back in 2004, but not for the reason that you might think.

“At the time it felt like the right thing to do. It was in my gut. I improvised it,” Schwarzenegger said. “I called them girlie men because they weren’t willing to take risks. They were afraid of everything. Politicians in general want to do little things so there’s no risk involved. But it was shortsighted. In the long term, it’s better to not say that, because you want to work with them.”

Thousands of Google employees walked off the job on Thursday in offices spanning from California to Dublin in protest of the company’s handling of sexual harassment claims -- a powerful demonstration of the impact of the #metoo movement in the hyper-competitive and male-dominated tech industry.

The walkout, which took place a week after the New York Times revealed that Google had suppressed allegations of sexual misconduct against several of its executives, took aim at what organizers called a “culture of complicity, dismissiveness, and support for perpetrators.”

Managers, rank-and-file engineers, men and women participating in the walkout said they were demanding broad changes in how the company handles harassment complaints, and that they were protesting in solidarity with colleagues who had been victimized under the current system.

“The [Times] article provided a narrow window into a culture we, as Google employees, know well,” the organizers wrote in a blog post announcing the protest. “These stories are our stories. We share them in hushed tones to trusted peers, friends, and partners. There are thousands of us, at every level of the company. And we’ve had enough.”

In a statement emailed to The Washington Post, Google Chief Executive Sundar Pichai said Google is supporting employees who choose to participate in the walkouts.

“Employees have raised constructive ideas for how we can improve our policies and our processes going forward,” Pichai said. “We are taking in all their feedback so we can turn these ideas into action.” A screensaver went out on corporate computers promoting the walkout, according to employees.

As the waves of #MeToo have broken out across U.S. industry, the movement’s presence in Silicon Valley has uncovered patterns of abuse, gender inequality and a hush-hush culture in an environment that aims to be progressive.

Google in particular is known for its individualistic culture in which engineers whose innovations are seen to bring enormous value to the company are rewarded with millions of dollars in payments -- even when they break the rules.

Andy Rubin, the creator of Google’s Android software, was reportedly paid $90 million when he left the company in 2014 after a sexual misconduct investigation deemed allegations against him were credible. Rubin denied the story in a tweet, saying it was “part of a smear campaign” to disparage him during a divorce and custody battle.

The Times story also exposed allegations of sexual harassment against Richard DeVaul, a director at Google’s parent company, Alphabet. DeVaul resigned Tuesday, the Times reported.

That unequal system stands in contrast to the values promoted to the rank-and-file, some of the protesters said, who spoke anonymously because Google had instructed them not to speak to the media. They said they were proud Googlers who came to the company believing in a longstanding “Don’t be evil” philosophy. They said their concerns were as much about sexism as they were about managers’ choices to protect powerful executives and demote or push out people who complain.

“We have all heard stories of women who have been pushed out while men have been elevated,” said one engineer at a San Francisco walkout.

“From the moment we get to Google, we are told we are special. Google is special and we want to retain that. We want to display our values,” said another protester who worked in sales.

n an essay published on the Cut, the seven core organizers of the protest said that over 60 percent of Google’s offices around the world were participating in the walkout, amounting to thousands of employees. The stories that appeared in the Times offered just a “narrow window” into tough realities of Google’s culture, they wrote.

The walkouts represent the latest instance of employees pushing back to hold Google’s leadership accountable. In June, Google opted not to extend its contract doing artificial intelligence work with the Defense Department after a wave of public backlash and employee resignations. In August, employees expressed outrage over the company’s plans to develop a search engine for China that would allow the government to censor results, with more than 1,400 employees signing an internal letter asking the company to establish an oversight process to review the China project and other plans that “raise urgent moral and ethical issues,” the Times reported.

Ha. I thought about James Damore as soon as I started reading.

Former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman — who resigned in disgrace after being accused of physically abusing four women — will not be criminally charged, a state prosecutor announced Thursday.

A Democrat who'd made a name for himself as a champion of women's rights, Schneiderman stepped down in May just hours after a report in The New Yorker magazine detailed that he had struck or choked women he knew.

He said then that "while these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office's work at this critical time."

The allegations were investigated by Nassau County District Attorney Madeline Singas, who was appointed special prosecutor by Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

"I believe the women who shared their experiences with our investigation team," Singas said in a statement obtained by WNBC-TV. "However, legal impediments, including statutes of limitations, preclude criminal prosecution."

One of Schneiderman's victims, Michelle Manning Barish, dated him in 2013 and 2014, and told the New Yorker that he would slap and choke her without her consent. He admitted to the magazine in a statement that "in the privacy of intimate relationships, I have engaged in role-playing and other consensual activity," but maintained, "I have not assaulted anyone."

Announcing his resignation, Schneiderman said "I strongly contest" the allegations.

In a statement obtained by NBC News, Schneiderman said: “I recognize that District Attorney Singas’ decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them. After spending time in a rehab facility, I am committed to a lifelong path of recovery and making amends to those I have harmed. I apologize for any and all pain that I have caused, and I apologize to the people of the State of New York for disappointing them after they put their trust in me.”

Barish tweeted after seeing the statement that "I feel completely vindicated by Eric Schneiderman’s admission that he engaged in the abuse to which he subjected me and the other women.

Schneiderman had been a vocal supporter of the #MeToo movement, and filed suit against producer Harvey Weinstein and his movie company earlier this year for failing to protect their employees from "pervasive sexual harassment, intimidation and discrimination.

Cleveland radio station has stopped playing a popular Christmas song that's been around since the 1940s, CBS Cleveland affiliate WOIO reports. Star 102 Cleveland listeners raised concerns about the lyrics of the song "Baby It's Cold Outside," with some saying the words send the wrong message in the era of the #MeToo movement.

Radio host Glenn Anderson wrote about the station's decision to stop playing the song. "We used to play the song 'Baby It's Cold Outside,' but you're the Christmas Executive Officer at Star 102 and you told us it's no longer appropriate," Anderson wrote on Tuesday. I gotta be honest, I didn't understand why the lyrics were so bad...Until I read them."

The song is sung as a duet between a man and a woman. The woman makes it clear she is worried about being with the man late into the night, while he adamantly tells her to say with him because, "Baby, it's cold outside."

Anderson shared the song's lyrics, which include lines like: "Say, what's in this drink?", "I really can't stay / Baby don't hold out" and "I ought to say no, no, no / Mind if I move in closer?" The woman also wonders aloud what others might think of her if she stays.

Written in 1944, song rose to popularity in the 1949 film "Neptune's Daughter." It was sung between Esther Williams and Ricardo Montalbán's characters, and then by Betty Garrett and Red Skelton, who reversed the role.

Criticism of the lyrics in "Baby It's Cold Outside" actually has been building for several years. Some Twitter users called out the "date-rapey" undertones of the song in 2013, and a number of publications have run articles questioning the song's meaning.

In 2014, Idina Menzel and Michael Bublé released a duet of the song and changed a few lyrics to be more family-friendly, with lines like, "Maybe just a soda-pop more / Put some records on while I pour." They also had child actors playing the roles of the couple in the music video.

In his blog post, Anderson said the song has no place on today's radio, but also asked listeners what they think and included an online poll question about it.

"Now, I do realize that when the song was written in 1944, it was a different time, but now while reading it, it seems very manipulative and wrong," Anderson wrote. "The world we live in is extra sensitive now, and people get easily offended, but in a world where #MeToo has finally given women the voice they deserve, the song has no place

I am amazed the song made it past the censors for as long as it has.

It’s time to bring an end to the Rape Anthem Masquerading As Christmas Carol

Hi there! Former English nerd/teacher here. Also a big fan of jazz of the 30s and 40s.

So. Here’s the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying today’s worldview to the song, yes, you’re right, it absolutely *sounds* like a rape anthem.

BUT! Let’s look closer!

“Hey what’s in this drink” was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there’s actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.

See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dude’s house. In the 1940’s, that’s the kind of thing Good Girls aren’t supposed to do — and she wants people to think she’s a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what she’s really concerned about: “the neighbors might think,” “my maiden aunt’s mind is vicious,” “there’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” But she’s having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink — unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That’s the joke. That is the standard joke that’s going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says “hey, what’s in this drink?” It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.

Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than “I’m staying because I want to.” (That’s the main theme of the man’s lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he’s pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she’s using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can’t say so. She states explicitly that she’s resisting because she’s supposed to, not because she wants to: “I ought to say no no no…” She states explicitly that she’s just putting up a token resistance so she’ll be able to claim later that she did what’s expected of a decent woman in this situation: “at least I’m gonna say that I tried.” And at the end of the song they’re singing together, in harmony, because they’re both on the same page and they have been all along.
So it’s not actually a song about rape - in fact it’s a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But it’s also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. It’s a song about a society where women aren’t allowed to say yes…which happens to mean it’s also a society where women don’t have a clear and unambiguous way to say no.