Am i the only one who thinks dating has become shallow?

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in my opinion dating has become about shallow trivial things like height skinny/fat, wealth hair color and so on. now don't get me wrong but IMO the only thing that should matter is chemistry and personality not to mention if the person is nice so what is the girl is overweight or in the man is short or is not rich? if people insist on stupid dating checklists then they are the reason they are single!! all i'm saying is give each over a chance, because you may not realize that whilst you are nitpicking over trivial, you may have missed out the ideal person who has a great sense of humor and shares an interest in , say Quantum mechanics because he/she failed to meet some stupid criteria. and THIS is why dating has become a waste of time and we would all be better off being set on multiple blind dates

apologies for the rant, peace out!!

Match.com has a search that will allow you to look for things like "Quantum" on profiles.

I guess no one can help what they are attracted to but at times it's worth looking in the mirror.
I think some things are hard wired into us, though, such as height. There are anomalies who defy their programming yet they appear to be the exception not the rule.

Having said that if there is chemistry its worth a go.


Oh! And hi!
Welcome to WP and the emotional mosh pit that is L&D.
Hope you like some of the tunes.

Emotional mosh pit is a great description.

I also bid you welcome, as the "evil mastermind" of the forum.

I definitely can't disagree, it's what I always wanted it to be like. Like spectrum already said, these things are hardwired in us, and never has been or will be any different. What has happened, is just that the technology we have today, has revealed just how incredibly cynical we humans are, and pushed it to the absolute extreme. 500 years ago it just wasn't possible to swipe through thousands of potential partners within a couple of hours.

Dating has always been this way. It was certainly that way in the 1970s and 1980s, when I dated.

You have to sift all that superficiality out. There are non-superficial people in this world, and there were non-superficial people back in the 1970s and 1980s, too.

Sometimes I believe it's also worth pointing out alternatives to the superficiality. People I know kind of just bemusedly entertain themselves with it.

A double negative?! The AUDACITY!


Back on topic, yes dating is very shallow, the shallowness is the reason that I can barely make friends let alone get a boyfriend. I think the world should go back to courting in my opinion. I have absolutely no standard or preference in a partner, as long as they treat me right and “there is chemistry” I wouldn’t care if they were green with purple hair and 4 feet tall, or blue with pink hair and 9 feet tall. I’ve never even bothered looking for a boyfriend because I am waiting for someone to approach me. If they approach me, of all people, then I know they aren’t shallow (unless it was just a dare from one of their friends, which is very likely).

When I was single I was mostly wanting someone who would give me a real chance & try to make a relationship work with me. I would of loved to have been set up or had an arranged marriage. It would of been ALOT easier for me than trying to find someone on my own. I really belived that most anyone would like me if they were in a relationship with me for a while because of how loyal, devoted, caring, loving, affectionate, & supportive I am within a relationship.

But you see, unless you meet person online, you evaluate his personality using those shallow trivial things you mentioned.

I can't help it, I am just bad like that.

Dating has always been shallow. Most people shopping around for a partner have a checklist of qualifications, and the longer the list, the fewer potential winners you'll find.

When I was dating, I wanted a tall (six two at least) blond blue-eyed guy with a strong jaw, no chin cleft because how could you ever shave that properly and I hated facial hair. He was going to have to drive a sports car and love horses. No fatties, no smokers, and if he didn't like Star Trek and AD&D he was a non-starter.

Then I stopped thinking like a twelve-year-old and learned to pay attention to the human being I was seeing. It worked a treat.

When I was single girls would complain to me about how they couldn't find a guy or the rite guy. The girls would complain about not having a guy with certain qualities. I would fit most of the qualities or even all in some cases but those girls would never give me a chance & instead be interested in guys who don't have any of those qualities or very few of em.

Yeah well, there's a reason for that.
And that all hearkens back to the title of the thread.

Hahaha lol

Most people don’t actually stick to these checklists. If they did, everyone except the top 1% of people would be single.

It’s a very naive way of viewing other people and much more common in immature people. Relationships based on this never last unless it’s a mutual agreement or trade off for shallow things like wealth for big boobs. Even then half the time it doesn’t last.

Several people think they’re single for shallow reasons when half the time, the reality is their personality sucks, but noone would want to admit that.

I’m most likely single because my personality sucks, my aspergers, lack of interest in serious relationships and the fact I never follow up any advances or put myself put there.

It’s very unlikely it’s for anything shallow. I don’t think not dating someone for aspergers traits is shallow. It has a large impact on a relationship.