Page 1 of 4 [ 51 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

10 Dec 2017, 9:25 am

To those NTs that can't stand any periods of silence. It's hard to hear constant chatter and that's exactly what some people do.....

Why do NTs feel the need to constantly talk about themselves? Are they needy for attention?

You can't very well say you are not interested when one of attention seekers approaches you. Just try to show your lack of interest indirectly by your body language.

I'm not interested in your grandchildren, grown kids, high school kids, where you went on vacation etc. After all I keep my special interests to myself and share only with likeminded people.



EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

10 Dec 2017, 10:11 am

You obviously don't spend time around aspies. If I made a recording of all the chatter at my school cafeteria you'd know what I mean :lol:



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

10 Dec 2017, 10:30 am

Your point is what exactly?



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,364
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

10 Dec 2017, 10:42 am

Choose what you wanna hear. If people wanna talk, why not take advantage of it by asking questions you wanna know? :twisted:
If that puts people off, they'd stop talking. If that doesn't, odds that you may get what you would've want to know. Or odds you'd find someone with shared interest, too. Or that one in a million chance of finding the right person to be social with.
If you don't want either, well, politely leave. Or, show or convey disinterest.
If people refuse your conditions, then disapprove them like you'd intend with your post. After all, NTs as individuals have their respective reputations to uphold.

I prefer eavesdropping 'sessions'. Or listening.
If people don't talk while I observe from afar, I may never take my observations seriously. As I could put funny parodies of nonverbal misinterpretation, instead of what could have been serious yet mostly mundane stuff. :lol:


And if you live by my culture, you'd be more confused or frustrated.
Non verbal expressions are more emphasized here, with several dimensions of empathy required. And sometimes outright vague and too emotional/personal/impractical by western NTs' standards.



And as for Ezra's "point" I think he means aspies are the same, too, with the nonsensical chatter you accuse NTs with.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

10 Dec 2017, 10:48 am

HistoryGal wrote:
Your point is what exactly?


I was just sharing an anecdote.

If I were going to make a point, it would be that if you spent a lot of time around verbal autistics like I do, you would know a room full of them chatter a lot and many also talk about themselves and their special interests a lot. So that sort of thing really isn't limited to the dreadful NT's. Although probably most autistics don't do nearly as much talking and socializing as when they're not around their peers. Don't feel nearly as comfortable.



Tawaki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,439
Location: occupied 313

10 Dec 2017, 11:06 am

For whatever it's worth.

It is not just NTs who will not shut up.

My Aspire husband can monolog for 90 minutes holding everyone in the room hostage on his special interests. He doesn't see all the non verbal body language that people have lost interest within the first 8 minutes of the monolog.

Now... He thinks NTs won't shut up, but that is because he has zero interest in their topics. Of course, he starts on his topic (esoteric, a handful of people in the world might give a crap topic), my husband runs his mouth like a Senate filibuster.

This monologing was one of the first indications that he had ASD.

NTs don't have a lock on the mouth diarrhea.



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

10 Dec 2017, 12:44 pm

So I guess my point is lost here.



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

10 Dec 2017, 12:51 pm

Chances are the autistics Ezra is referring to aren't filling the air with useless tidbits. Their talking serves a specific purpose in my opinion.

NT's are the ones thinking everyone wants to hear what they did last weekend or their kids etc. A little of that nonsense goes a long ways and should never interrupt class instruction. I work in education. How do we keep the kids on task if the adults can't reign it in?



nephets
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 3 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 336
Location: North Yorkshire

10 Dec 2017, 1:04 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Chances are the autistics Ezra is referring to aren't filling the air with useless tidbits. Their talking serves a specific purpose in my opinion.

NT's are the ones thinking everyone wants to hear what they did last weekend or their kids etc. A little of that nonsense goes a long ways and should never interrupt class instruction. I work in education. How do we keep the kids on task if the adults can't reign it in?

Your point is not lost here. I sit at work surrounded by the inane chittering of NT's telling each other about their weekend, holidays, Facebook, what they are going to eat. To quote Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhikers Guide tio the Galaxy): 'Ford Prefect had formed the opinion that if humans ever stopped talking, their brains might start working'.



HistoryGal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jan 2017
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,648
Location: Orlando

10 Dec 2017, 1:08 pm

☺ Nephets



Masakados
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jun 2017
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Posts: 211

10 Dec 2017, 1:18 pm

I know what you mean. There's been many times someone had interrupted silence just to talk about nonsense.
It always starts with "It's so quiet!".
Yes I was enjoying the silence.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

10 Dec 2017, 1:23 pm

What are NTs supposed to talk about? Like Aspies, NTs do have their own interests, but not every person in the room shares the same interest, so they will just talk about mundane things that are relavent to everyone.

Some things NTs talk about get boring to listen to, like when they talk about a wedding they were invited to, and you have to fake an interest in looking at pictures of their expensive suit or dress they bought.

But kids and sports aren't the only thing NTs talk about (as Aspies seem to stereotype this). In fact, they very rarely talk about sports in my experience, and I spend every day of my life around NTs. They also talk about shopping, store prices, TV, celebrities, animals, holidays, family, gardening, sleep, ailments, cars, mortgages or rent, alcohol, fears, cooking, news, politics, work, memories...the list goes on and on.

My favourite thing is gossip. I love finding out things about people I know. It's not that I'm nosy. I just find people interesting, and I feel others know more about things than me, and I just want to be up on it.


_________________
Female


nephets
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 3 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 336
Location: North Yorkshire

10 Dec 2017, 1:37 pm

Joe90 wrote:
What are NTs supposed to talk about? Like Aspies, NTs do have their own interests, but not every person in the room shares the same interest, so they will just talk about mundane things that are relavent to everyone.

Some things NTs talk about get boring to listen to, like when they talk about a wedding they were invited to, and you have to fake an interest in looking at pictures of their expensive suit or dress they bought.

But kids and sports aren't the only thing NTs talk about (as Aspies seem to stereotype this). In fact, they very rarely talk about sports in my experience, and I spend every day of my life around NTs. They also talk about shopping, store prices, TV, celebrities, animals, holidays, family, gardening, sleep, ailments, cars, mortgages or rent, alcohol, fears, cooking, news, politics, work, memories...the list goes on and on.

My favourite thing is gossip. I love finding out things about people I know. It's not that I'm nosy. I just find people interesting, and I feel others know more about things than me, and I just want to be up on it.


Many NT's spew out a never ending cacophony of small talk. I used to sit in front of two ladies at work who spent much of their time complaining about how busy they are. I eventually pointed out that if they spent less time talking about being busy, they would not, in fact, be busy. This did not go down well. For many, silence is to be feared.



ladyelaine
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Apr 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,164
Location: surrounded by cats

10 Dec 2017, 2:20 pm

In my experience, most NT conversation is shallow, competitive, and mind numbing. I don't like conversation that feels forced. People love to talk about how busy they are to make themselves look important they are. I don't even have to try to eavesdrop on people. I'm so quiet that people don't notice that I'm in the room. I have gotten a lot of information on people that way. People will say to me, "You're so quiet". Well, damn. Maybe I want some peace and quiet from the noise of the world. Maybe I don't need to run my mouth for the sake of running my mouth.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 62,501
Location: UK

10 Dec 2017, 2:47 pm

Joe90 wrote:
What are NTs supposed to talk about? Like Aspies, NTs do have their own interests, but not every person in the room shares the same interest, so they will just talk about mundane things that are relavent to everyone.

Some things NTs talk about get boring to listen to, like when they talk about a wedding they were invited to, and you have to fake an interest in looking at pictures of their expensive suit or dress they bought.

But kids and sports aren't the only thing NTs talk about (as Aspies seem to stereotype this). In fact, they very rarely talk about sports in my experience, and I spend every day of my life around NTs. They also talk about shopping, store prices, TV, celebrities, animals, holidays, family, gardening, sleep, ailments, cars, mortgages or rent, alcohol, fears, cooking, news, politics, work, memories...the list goes on and on.

My favourite thing is gossip. I love finding out things about people I know. It's not that I'm nosy. I just find people interesting, and I feel others know more about things than me, and I just want to be up on it.


I love listening to gossip as well. But I just tend to switch off to the bits where people like to go on and on and on about their dogs and children. It doesn't annoy or offend me so much as it bores the life out of me and although I don't have any issues with the so called "nt" folk, I have on occasion found myself running in the complete opposite direction from them for fear of being talked at for what seems an eternity about how little Tommy got his first tooth last week or about how beautiful their dogs are and what breed they are etc etc etc.

How we all have to be interested in this just beggars belief.


_________________
We have existence


TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

10 Dec 2017, 2:53 pm

I don't get why some NT kids/teens feel the need to be in constant communication with each other and don't have the courtesy to shut up when a teacher/leader is trying to talk.