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artfulldodger
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 18 May 2014
Age: 51
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Posts: 150
Location: Indiana

10 Dec 2017, 7:52 pm

I have had friends over the years, none really last that long before they grew tired of me(I assume) and we drifted away or stopped hanging out/doing stuff. Right now I have one friend, he is much older than me and I suspect he might be Aspie as well. We share a common obsession(model trains) and go to shows and such together. Other than that, I have no friends. Even my wife is like a stranger anymore and does nothing with me anymore. I get my attention and affection from my dogs. AD


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AQ score 43
RAADS-R 221
Your Aspie score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 59 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


firemonkey
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Joined: 23 Mar 2015
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Location: Calne,England

10 Dec 2017, 8:04 pm

Not overly dissatisfied( I have something of a split personality when it comes to the issue). Most of the time, apart from seeing family, I prefer my own company. I don't so much want company due to loneliness but because I can get bored sometimes with my own company.
Then there is the issue of not wanting people to get too close to me as I feel awkward when people try to connect with me on a more emotional/personal level.



firemonkey
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10 Dec 2017, 8:18 pm

I found that old friend from prep school via a google search. Or at least I think it's him. He has the same birthdate , same as my sister-August 17th . He has a twitter account. He seems to be rather obsessed with the kind of women who spam twitter with 'sexy' pictures of themselves.
Reading his tweets I am almost certain that we would not get on if we met again.



Syd
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10 Dec 2017, 8:45 pm

Not to brag, but I'm pretty much a social butterfly. My buddies consist of three houseplants, a seal plushie, a poorly-painted portrait of Igor Stravinsky wearing glasses too small for his face, a pet snail, an empty plant pot full of soil (friend-in-progress), a dusty old piano with a piece of cashew nut stuck between two keys, a lawn gnome, and my BFF: a handmade pillow embroidered with little stars and moons on one side and a grinning Carl Sagan head on the other. So that's ten friends, eleven if you count the piece of cashew. In the hopes of expanding my network even further, I've been stopping to chat with a streetlamp on my way to the metro station. Whenever I walk by, he's always there. Like he's hoping we'll cross paths. I'm not sure, but I think he likes me.



kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2017, 9:39 pm

I like Stravinsky.

You are literally a "social" butterfly?



Benjamin the Donkey
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10 Dec 2017, 10:18 pm

I'm terrible at initiating conversations/contact, but once the other person does, I'm able to carry on a conversation and even make friends. But I'm terrible at maintaining relationships unless they involve sex (and I'm married, so that's out), so most of these contacts never get followed up on or fizzle out before long.


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thewho7
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Joined: 12 Dec 2014
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11 Dec 2017, 10:31 am

In theory, I know how to make friends. In actuality, not really.

I thought I was good at it when I made friends at work a few years ago, but outside of one, all those friendships have died off. Unfortunately, work is the only place where I've been able to make friends.

Now I've adjusted my standards so that I don't keep making doomed friendships, just ones that are likely to work well. Just in terms of trying to find people who could adapt well to ASP and a patient attitude so I could adapt well to them.



MariaTheFictionkin
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11 Dec 2017, 10:36 am

I never have been good at making friends myself in this world and most of the time I just avoid people. Although... seems like being myself tends to fetch in some very nice people. That's pretty much how I made the few friends I have today.

...It was a pain just to feel confident that the people in my life today were not just more trolls looking to make fun of me or gossip about me online. Although these people in my life now have my trust, I can't see myself go through that process of evaluating people again and allowing them to be a part of my life.


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EzraS
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11 Dec 2017, 2:55 pm

I've made a few internet friends, but I don't know how I did it.



goldfish21
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11 Dec 2017, 6:18 pm

Yeah, all too easily, really. I have a few friends I consider very close & dear to me, and then nearly countless (ok, dozens? hundreds?) of other friends & acquaintances in my life. Some from schools or workplaces, others from sports, others from the gay community and parties we attend, others from the beach I've become a regular at. And I say all too easily because I tend to end up with more invites to things than I'd care to go to so I just see people when I see them at the various places we became friends in the first place & only really attend a handful of parties or events a year. I'd rather just hang out with a select few, or by myself online or reading or working out/running etc - various solo pursuits vs. the endless NT need to be surrounded by other people.

I did accept an invitation to a 30th birthday party, though, in early January.. because it was probably the nicest bday party invite I've ever seen on FB. He wrote that the venue limits his guest list to 100 people and he invited each person because they've touched his life in some significant way or another, so, I figured I'd go. Also, it's at an old hotel bar (recently renovated) that I've never been to, but is the hotel where my father spent his very first night in Vancouver when he came to town in 1971. So, reasons. He's a Wrecker (Wreck Beach regular) who I loaned one of my trainer kites to so he can learn the wind and eventually get out on the water kiteboarding, and a DJ & all around chill human being - so - should be a good party. 8) Still on the fence about going out to party for NYE the same as I have the last few years.. hmmm depends which friends are going maybe - not that it'd be a bad time, just not so sure I'm feelin' it. Although, if I go in with very low expectations maybe I'll have a hell of a good NYE.

EzraS wrote:
I've made a few internet friends, but I don't know how I did it.


Probably by being friendly? Heh. People do get a sense of one's personality via online text/forums etc & so it's not that difficult to figure out how people make internet friends just by being themselves online. You're a consistently pleasant contributor to these forums. It's not difficult to comprehend why you're liked online.


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blooiejagwa
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13 Jan 2018, 10:30 pm

No I do not. I can be nice but I find normal chitchat boring and I know I make people annoyed or confused with how I am.

Would rather not be with friends than be a burden.


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League_Girl
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14 Jan 2018, 1:13 am

I used to.


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Kelby
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14 Jan 2018, 3:02 am

I can make friends, however, maintaining friendships is something I have, definitely, struggled with. I would like to think I can change this...



Razupaltuf
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Joined: 9 Jan 2018
Age: 26
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Posts: 29

14 Jan 2018, 6:33 am

I find it hard to draw a border between friends and acquaintances.
And it is even harder to know at which moment they become your friend.
Noone ever thought I have aspergers but many explain my unusual behavior by me being gay ( but I am not :lol:). I have been confronted with this many times. :mrgreen:


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renaeden
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14 Jan 2018, 6:40 am

EzraS wrote:
I've made a few internet friends, but I don't know how I did it.
I can see how you did - online you're pretty affable and have a good sense of humour. Plus you're pretty knowledgeable about a lot of varied stuff. Don't know what you're like in rl, but yeah, online you're cool. 8)



Nira
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Joined: 6 Jan 2018
Age: 37
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Posts: 155

14 Jan 2018, 7:21 am

I don't know how to make friends. It happened to me, I thinked about about someone, he is my friend. I liked him and I belived, he like me as well. And later he disappointed me with something, what showed me, that he does not like me so much. I don't know, how recognize, what kind of relationship that person has to me. I'm afraid of these mistakes.


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