stimming and obsession with spinning objects for 2.5 yr old

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hi all.. my son is 2.5 now and not yet diagnosed but im not sure what the diagnosis will be.. given also they do not diagnose aspergers anymore..

about him.. he is verbal and is able to request items but not necessarily hold a conversation yet.. he can answe a what is this or where is this or who is this wuestion..
the part i am worried about is his obsession w spinning objects.. in every task or toy he would find the spinning part of it and must spin it and probably would continue unless i redirect or block him..

just wondering if anyone had kids like this.. do they grow out of it? does the obsession change? i am just concern this gets in te way of him learnjng or doin anything when he is distracted by a circular object anytime he sees it.. how will this change and affect his life as he grows up? should i do evrrything to try and stop or redirect him or sometimes just let him be..
he is able to vocalise his action though... spinning! its a circle! and he gets really excited whenhe finds a spining part..

thank you for any responses or anyone willing to chat with me about this

He's verbal, and that's very important.

I don't know too many 2.5-year-olds who are excellent conversationalists yet.

If he still can't have a conversation when he's 4, then I'd start being concerned.

He's a toddler. Many toddlers do "weird" things---some of which seem "autistic" at first glance.

Not holding a conversation at 2.5 is quite usual. Funny fasciantions too.
I don't see any need to try to stop it, it won't help with anything, only make more stress.
From your description there is no indication of being on the spectrum, and even if he was, playing with spinning object will never do him any harm.

thanks for the inputs.. he has been to a child development specialist who has said he is at risk of it..
there are more items perhaps not in my dexcription..
-he has limited interaction with other kids.. in playgroup he may wander off on his own to play with an item non functionally.. like rolling a crayon on the floor.. while other kids are olaying with blocks..
-intetaction with other kids also seems different..he looks at other kids now but doesnt know how to approach or olay togerher.. i feel sometimes he wants to though
-repetitive play or nonfunxtional play of toys.. cars he is okay to roll but doesnt want to build legos or explore other toys..
-does repeat speech abit.. if you ask him do you wan to eat a biscuit? he will repeat the question back to you... may have ro ask him or prompt him a few rimes before he says i want or i dont want..
-at about 18 months his eye contact was not good and also didnt call mom or dad.. though now he does.. eye contwct is better..

on the doctors advise we started some early intervention.. we chose aba and he has about 12 hours a week of that now.. was that why he improved i dont know..

while writing the above i realise he has improved quite abit and if i am treating this whole thing objectively.. and giving him a chance to grow on his own pace..

i dont know.. this has really come
between me and my wife too where we have conflictint views on what to do.. i pushed for intensive early intervention since doctor said at risk.. while she is more give him
time ..

now that he is of age for diagnosis.. just i think.. we are hesitant to go.. maybe we dont want to hear it.. and since we are doing rarly intervention already..

anyway sorry for the long rant.. its not easy..

i just joined this forum to know what happens to kids like my son when they grow up.. to get a better view of the furure..to connect with them so i can understand and support him better in future

Well, what you describe is fairly similar to my older daughter. She was relatively slow to use the language even after she learned to speak and prefered to play by herself. Little eye contact, "being in her own world" for a lot of the time, sensory issues, palilalia (repeating the end of her own sentences under her breath).

I took your wife's approach and let her go her own pace. So did her preschool teachers. Did not seek a diagnosis. The point is, I have been diagnosed in my thirties, so I had some first-hand insight into growing up with undiagnosed HFA. That what I really needed was to be accepted and valued the way I was. Then I could cope with the rest myself.

My daughter got some general developement help from her preschool psychologist and a social skills training when she was 5. That's all the professional intervention. All without any diagnosis. Oh, and the psychologist recommended nurturing any friendships she would make at school.
For non-professional intervention, she asked for anti-noise earmuffs to wear at school corridors. I bought a pair and she uses them.
And I listen to her. Every time she wants to say something, I focus, listen and try to understand her world.

Now she is 6, I recently got her evaluation from school. Everything very good, except for not keeping her surroundings clean. Her social life is small but good. She is quiet but self-confident. I know one day the problems may overgrow our coping capability but then I will look for evaluation and help. Not before.

Bear in your mind that your son will not become someone different because of the diagnosis. He will not stop being who he is, he will not change his own path of developement.
I've never been on ABA, some users who have been say it's traumatic brainwashing, not help. High functioning autism can't be cured but one can learn to live a happy, interesting, fulfilling life with it. That's the goal.

LOL....How many 6-year-olds do you know "keep their area clean?" That's kids---they're messy!

2.5 year-old toddlers are going through a phase where they exhibit many "weird" behaviors----because they're 2.5 year-olds. They cry just for the sake of crying. They don't play nice with other kids. They spin around. Sometimes, they look "autistic."

Like I said, if your child continues to not play with other kids by age 3.5, then I might get worried.

It's good that your child is getting "early intervention," though.

One thing I would say, which may also be pertinent to ABA therapy as well, is that getting ourselves to do things which don't come naturally can be very stressful and tiring for us. If he finds repetitive play or watching spinning things calming, he probably understands intuitively that it relieves stress, and it's probably a good idea to let him do those things, but maybe in a scheduled time slot (when he's old enough to understand this), or only when he's in a particular environment (at home with you, for example.) Trying to simply stop the behaviour completely could lead to him thinking that he is a "bad person" for needing to do something that he finds therapeutic. If it is autistic behaviour, he should be encouraged to think that it does not make him inherently "bad" or naughty, just that he needs to consider whether other people might be inconvenienced by it or that it might not be appropriate in certain situations.

Whether he is autistic or not is not going to change based on if you stop him from spinning activities. If it is a "stim" it is something that helps him regulate himself. Stims are self calming (or self-exciting when they need stimulation of that sort) techniques that kids use to fine tune their state. They are often an excellent stress management strategy that comes naturally to them, as well. Banning it is a terrible idea.

If your concern is that he is not spending enough time on learning activities -- then try to incorporate it into play. Don't make him play the right way. Play the way he does with him. That is how you build the relationship and communication. Spin wheels, line blocks up, stack them, play with drawing toys -- whatever he likes to do.

My son used to love spinning fans at your son's age. He was not into spinning wheels as much as was into watching things spin; but he loved to watch fans spin. My son is a preteen now and I don't remember how many years he was into it. Maybe 5 maximum. It may not have even been that long. It was also not his only interest. My son usually has about 3 or 4 special interests at a time, and one of them is typically sensory in nature. His sensory needs change and what he likes sometimes changes too. My son is a pre-teen, now, and I tried to get him a fidget spinner b/c I thought he might like it, but no dice. He was not even remotely interested in it. He was not even interested in watching me play with it.

Obviously, no one has a crystal ball and we can't predict the future. I agree with Magz that the main thing is to help them be happy and fulfilled. What that will look like for any specific child is unknown, even for neurotypical children.

There are different levels of "functionality" and each child has his/her own set of strengths and weaknesses. It is important not to ignore the strengths and interests and you should not work on the weaknesses all the time. That way is folly and bad for self-esteem, too.

I work on the weaknesses when I see readiness, and I periodically test for readiness, in various ways, for things I think my son needs help in. If I don't see readiness and it is not an immediate priority, I plant seeds for the future and defer it. if it is urgent, them I try to work it from different angles. I don't fight unnecessary battles. We don't have the time or energy for that. Anything fruitless I work on takes away from the time we can be working on his strengths and doing fun things. They learn that way too -- and you can (and should) incorporate special interests/strengths into the learning process for things your child has less aptitude or interest in, but that are important nonetheless.

Your description of your son could have been written for my son at 2.5 years old and it would have fit him perfectly. He was obsessed with spinning and could say a lot of words but 99% of his communication was identifying or describing things. He could not ask for help or request basic things like food or drinks or tell us if something hurt.

At about that age he was diagnosed with ASD.

Today at age 6 he is excelling in school and life in general. He is in a normal public school and his kindergarten teacher adores him. He does well academically. He can pretty much read anything and has good beginning math skills. At the beginning of the year his teacher struggled with his lack of eye contact and we had to insist that she not bring attention to it unless he was not progressing in the class because of it. Eventually she got it and realized he was progressing just fine and clearly was learning appropriately. After she relaxed about the eye contact and some occasional spinning, he felt comfortable and accepted. As a result, he has no behavior issues. In our last teacher meeting, she referred to him as a model student.

Outside of school he plays soccer, swims, and plays piano. Last week he scored 2 goals in a soccer game and had his team mates hugging and high-fiving him. Over this past weekend he played his Christmas piano recital piece in front of 100 people.

Is he still autistic? Absolutely. There is no doubt.

Is he a wonderful, loving, successful child? Absolutely. There is no doubt.

My advice:

1- Let him spin. Spinning helps my son relax and focus. I would say that his spinning has decreased 90% since he was 2.5yo but he still does it.

2- Teach/facilitate reading. Autistic kids usually learn with their eyes, not their ears. My son did not really start conversing until age 5 but he could read and understand simple written things at 4 yo. Today he does not understand all verbal instruction that most kids do. His teacher knows this and provides written instructions when appropriate. If he does not understand, he can get frustrated and frustration will still cause anxiety and behavior issues. Reading now enables him to quickly learn social skills as well. Just give him a story that teaches a social skill and he quickly gets it.

3- Insist that teachers, therapists and aides focus on visual capability development including reading/pre-reading. Once he develops those skills he will quickly learn social and verbal skills. I personally would also insist that they not try to stop his spinning or other stimming.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you so much. People like you show me that there is hope out there. Ha ha. You do understand autism. That's a rarity.

"Stimming time is learning time." If the child is stimming, like spinning objects, that's the perfect moment to teach him additional skills. These skills could be math, reading, eye focus on stick figure drawings, or anything else that you think is important for your child to learn. You let the children spin objects, then pause them, and teach them to read a word or a sentence, and then let them spin again. And then repeat.

Frankly my son still talks kind of slowly. No one was expecting him to score 94% in the California MAP (Measures of Academic Progress) test. This is 2nd grade, not 1st grade. So true reading comprehension is involved. It was a surprise to most teachers (I just attended my son's annual IEP). My 4th grade daughter's reading speed is simply off the chart. I remember how her 3rd grade teacher would put my daughter alone in a separable table for reading activities, because she was reading above grade. See, for neurotypical people, they think that reading comes after talking, so if you don't talk well, you can't possibly read well. To me, it wasn't really a surprise. Written English was my children's first language. They both started to read books when they were still 2 years old, and they both only started to talk around 4.5 years old. Had I known the benefit of reading, I would have started to teach them to read even earlier. If you think that my son was a natural hyperlexic child, he was not. He was super-hyperactive when he was 2.5 years old, totally unable to focus on static images, let alone do any reading. He was bouncing around the house like a ping-pong ball. It's a long story how I got him to develop visual skills to focus on static drawings, and from there to learn to read in just a few months. Anyway, I can't emphasize enough the importance of reading. It'll even help you to deal with your children's tantrum situations later. My son's teacher wrote down on his IEP how he was always smiling ear-to-ear. It was funny, because at the very beginning of the IEP meeting, I gave compliments to the teachers. I told them, that they must be doing things right, because every day when I picked up my son from school, he always had this grin from ear to ear. One teacher immediately jumped and told me, that's what she has written down on the IEP!

thank you for all the replies.. it is heartening to read and i have alot of encouragement and inspiration from your views..
just to note i dont stop him from spinning but more try to redirect him.. i dont alwats succeed though.. he has this thing where he lies on the floor on his side and moves the car back and forth repeatedly while looking at it..

one thing i would like to know is how would we define hfa? with what he has now is he hfa? if my son could read well and with interest. go to school .. make a friend..and play soccer! i would be over the moon.. but is that the bar for hfa..
yes my worries for him stimming etc is reallt if it affects him learning self help skills, learnjng to read.. to draw.. to learn in school..to have other interrsts that could lead to a meaningful life (again who really knows the defnition of a meaningful life..). thats the real worry
. if he gets to a stage he can control his behaviours.. navigate this harsh world independantly.. thats the aim i guess..

anyway.. really good point too abt reading and how they learn to read first then socialise..never thought abt it that way..
for now he enjoys his bedtime stories.. stories like.. draw me a star.. the hungry cateprillar.. recently the gingerbread man..

he drinks his milk while i read to him and he looks at the book and story intenrly.. i know he gets some of the srory because he can point to me if i ask him abt the page.. and later it i whow him the page he may describe the page..
one question though.. indont read every word on the page to him nor do i use my finger to follow the words as i read them.. i kind of tel the story on the page in my own words..should i try to make him look at he words on the page and read those to him? the reason i shortcut is sometimes its too wordy or word is abit difficult and i am afriad i wont sustain his interests..

keen to hear the texhniques you use..

thanks all once ahain

I am doing PhD in theoretical physics and I still sometimes make different object spin and just look at them. No, stimming will not affect negatively his mental capabilities. It helps him to calm and rest, and get himself together, so it affects his mentality on the good side.
As he grows, it would be good for him to know that not every time and place is good for stimming but I wouldn't introduce the idea to a toddler. There will be time for it.


I don't think there is the Only Correct Way of Reading a Book to a Toddler. IMO - whatever makes him interested is good.

It's my opinion that a large majority of kids diagnosed with autism are of at least normal intelligence and are very capable. There are some exceptions with children who have clear genetic ailments and require special care. I don't really think much of the term HFA. Our kids simply have a different path of development (usually visual learning and reading first and then communication and social skills later). If you figure out how your child best develops, I think you will be amazed by what he can achieve.

The big mistake that can be made is to try to force the learning of verbal communication and social skills before the child is ready. It leads to frustration and behavior problems and delays development. Most professionals go down this path and in my opinion they delay development rather than aide it. My wife and I made a simple video of my son at a table learning sight words and identifying car makes, birds, wildlife etc when he was 2.5 yo old for his psychologist that gave his diagnosis. Her immediate reaction was to tell us to stop and work with her team because he needed to quickly learn how to communicate and social skills. She said "he is smart but you are teaching him the wrong things." She could not have been more wrong and I wish I knew then what I know now.

If you focus on defining things with pictures and videos and reading, he will quickly get to the point where he is ready to communicate. Once my son could read, I do think it was important for him to work on things like verb tenses and pronoun use but it was at a point when he was ready and it was not uncomfortable for him and always he was given written instructions and pictures.

At a young age I think he got more from from music, art and sport activities than therapies. Individual activities with a 1-to-1 instructor can be very beneficial as long as the teacher understands how to use visual forms of instruction.

Music has been wonderful for him. Just like reading he learned early that written music just like words in a book are simply a code to be deciphered. Learn the code and you unlock a new world.

Soccer was a bigger challenge and even I thought that he may never play on a team but he is getting there. We tried at 4 yo and it was a disaster. He just wasn't ready. His interest however remained and we focused on soccer skill development rather than playing in a game. If you research it, you may find soccer lessons/practice that focus on skill development and practice routines rather than competitive games. This allowed my son to develop physical soccer skills and now that his social communication skills are catching up he can play with a group. The group he plays with is called Locker Soccer and it's in Ohio (USA). If you google Locker Soccer Ohio, you can find their website and understand more about their instructional philosophy with regards to younger players who aren't yet ready for team play.

At 2.5 yo my son learned vocabulary and reading from flashcards, pictures and tons from an iPad but not from me reading to him. His comprehension just wasn't there to be able to understand a story. He looked at pictures and videos of all kinds of things with written words and pronunciation. I'd simply download every free iPad App on sight words, early reading and first words for children and let him choose which app he liked the most. We also made videos together using flashcards identifying objects and demonstrating verbs. He watched them hundreds of times.

Hope this helps.

Thank you Jason. I've learned a lot that has helped my son from reading your posts and your website/book.

HFA is not really a terribly useful designation. All it means is that there is no intellectual disability. The newest DSM also has a severity rating. My son was diagnosed under the old DSM so we don't have a severity rating, but from my reading of it, it is a flawed concept because autistic children often have splinter skills and a global severity rating does not say anything about specific skills. There is a well-worn saying that if you have met one autistic person....you have met one autistic person. So IMO the best thing to do is listen to advice from many people, eliminate anything that is scammy or harmful obviously, try the things that sound like they would best fit the child you have, and then gauge results. Sometimes things that work for one child do not work for another because autism is an umbrella term for what probably are multiple different things. I have done a lot of trial and error, and that is pretty much par, although that varies as well. You have to be the flexible one, and be willing to try different things. The most important thing is to develop a relationship by sharing interests. Everything else follows from that, At your son's age, you have the luxury of spending most of his day on play-based learning.

As far as your list of things: my son is not into sports at all, and I could not care less. (And I like sports and played them as a child) He doesn't have to like the same things I like and he is not a mini me. My son scored less than 1/100th of one percent in social skills, when he was tested, years ago. He is not ready to compromise his interests enough for a friendship, and he has unusual interests, so it may take awhile for him to get a friend. If it doesn't bother him, it does not bother me. He made some attempts, but he was not willing to make any compromises or be reciprocal, so he is not yet ready.

Our public school was not sufficiently accommodating, so I had to pull him and home school him, so it is not like I have to worry about bullying or anything. So as far as school goes, it depends on if your child will fit in well enough and whether the school district will be flexible to the extent it is not a good fit. Some people on this board have had wonderful school districts, and some of us are not so lucky. Honestly, pulling him is the best thing I could have done because I can accelerate him in the things it makes sense to accelerate him in, and scaffold what needs to be scaffolded. Executive functioning and organization is not his thing, and I don't grade notebooks for neatness of any of that nonsense. Academics we take very seriously, because it is his thing and it makes him feel proud to be doing advanced work in his favorite topics. Last year we used a college course on math appreciation as the basis of an elementary school senior seminar--which included all sorts of fun topics there is no way they are getting anywhere near in the local public school.

My son is hyperlexic, so he was reading prior to age 2, like his mommy was. I didn't know it was hyperlexia, I just thought of it as something some kids can do and most can't. He usually has multiple interests at one time. He usually has a sensory interest, a math interest, a science interest, a foreign alphabet/symbol/syllable interest, a technology interest and usually something else. His interests change. Sometimes they cycle back -- but he is always learning new things.