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stevet
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05 Jan 2018, 5:23 am

How many aspies feel that they are trully not capable or mature enough to have a relationship,i mean I know some will say you can work on yourself get experience in dating ect but i for one feel that i've never felt like i can open up to anyone or be intermit with anyone, and i almost see showing affection as giving in somehow or conforming.I know this is my loss and i believe if i did try starting a relationship I would be frauding that person by acting in a way not normal to me.I'm in my 40's now and did have a few chances when i was younger but wanted to try love ect but everytime i ran the other way almost in fear of being trapped.I'm not moaning or venting but sometimes when people mention about my singleness or not being married i have recently felt like openly stating .that's ok" i'm not capable of forming relationships " I bet if I said that most people would just laugh thinking i was joking but i'm not ,I wonder if any other wp people have openly stated their lack of capability and how it's gone down.



hale_bopp
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05 Jan 2018, 5:55 am

I don’t think I am capable of it either, it’s too much hassle and low on my importance list.



NorthWind
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05 Jan 2018, 10:02 am

I'm not sure. Some years ago I though I was sure I wanted a relationship, and now I'm still sure I would want one if I had been born NT and without mental health problems. But I wasn't and maybe it's easier to stay single. I sure would have to change many things about myself to be lovable and I'm starting to think that it just isn't worth it.



kraftiekortie
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05 Jan 2018, 10:12 am

North Wind has lots of good, rational thoughts and advice.

I'm sure she'd do better than she thinks in relationships.

That's my honest impression.



hobojungle
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05 Jan 2018, 1:33 pm

I only started learning about asd a year ago. Now I understand the difficulties I’ve had with relationships much better & I’ve also embraced celibacy for the emotional well-being of myself & others :heart:



Fireblossom
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05 Jan 2018, 1:44 pm

I think I'm ready for a relationship and that I'm mature enough, but then again I can never know for sure before I try.



joemamaugly
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05 Jan 2018, 7:18 pm

Love is AMAZING! There are wasted relationships in my life but once you find the "One", it's all worth it. I have changed not because I had to, but because it felt better than what I was doing. That relationship is over but I still am a better person because of it. I am 46 and I didn't find her until I was 44 and I will spend the rest of my life trying to get that feeling back. life sucks, people suck, but the right partner makes it all worth doing. Not having to mask as much does wonders for how I feel so finding someone who accepts me for me is key.


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hale_bopp
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05 Jan 2018, 8:19 pm

joemamaugly wrote:
Love is AMAZING! There are wasted relationships in my life but once you find the "One", it's all worth it. I have changed not because I had to, but because it felt better than what I was doing. That relationship is over but I still am a better person because of it. I am 46 and I didn't find her until I was 44 and I will spend the rest of my life trying to get that feeling back. life sucks, people suck, but the right partner makes it all worth doing. Not having to mask as much does wonders for how I feel so finding someone who accepts me for me is key.


See Markins? Here is proof your life isn’t over at 30.



SabbraCadabra
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05 Jan 2018, 9:14 pm

I feel like I could be halfway capable if I found just the right girl, and I'm sure she must be out there somewhere, but I've grown tired of looking. I've had a few close calls, but either I would screw it up, or feelings weren't as mutual as I would have liked.

I used to be obsessed with the idea that I needed someone else to be happy, but I think I'm finally comfortable with the idea of being single.


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auntblabby
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05 Jan 2018, 9:22 pm

too late for me this life, i'm too close to the exit. but I will have a future lifetime where I marry a brunette and have 2 cute kids.



mjames72
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07 Jan 2018, 5:55 pm

I desperately want a girlfriend but I don't know anything about how relationships are supposed to work. I doubt I am capable of handling a relationship but I just want to feel loved and appreciated.



auntblabby
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07 Jan 2018, 5:57 pm

^^^join the club MJ 8) btw, welcome to WP :)