Stratagems of Toxic/Abusive people. Manipulation/gaslighting

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SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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18 Jan 2018, 1:37 pm

Continuing from my other topic I also am very curious about the specific methods and strategies used by toxic/abusive people. I am curious in particular about those who are not causing inadvertent harm to others but the opposite: Deliberate, pre-planned schemes which are designed with full knowledge of relevant psychological principles and with full intentions to utilize said knowledge to cause maximum effect. I am talking about schemes specifically to cause psychological disaster scenarios through manipulation. Disaster scenarios such as inducing a psychotic episode, suicide, drug overdose, acting upon dark impulses which may have been subtly suggested by the abuser, anything else that can lead to consequences such as prison or committing to mental hospital. End game goal being the victim dying through suicide or violence, ending up in prison or involuntarily committed to a mental hospital either for years or for life. Though I am unsure of what manner of fulfillment this gives to an abuser, if their actions cause another person's suicide/violent death or long term prison sentence. They detect an action potential in a victim that they may under certain conditions cause this scenario and then manipulate them however possible into creating this scenario. Like how some people with mental illness may have a "trigger" the idea is to identify said trigger as well as how to "optimally" create the trigger scenario so as to cause maximum effect.

It is basically bullying but with a studious intensity.

Here's a bit of what sorts of things I am talking about from the wikipedia page.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abusive_power_and_control

Quote:
The vulnerabilities of the victim are exploited with those who are particularly vulnerable being most often selected as targets.[3][4][5] Traumatic bonding can occur between the abuser and victim as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change and a climate of fear.[6] An attempt may be made to normalise, legitimise, rationalise, deny, or minimise the abusive behaviour, or blame the victim for it.[7][8][9]

Isolation, gaslighting, mind games and divide and rule are other strategies that are often used. The victim may be plied with alcohol or drugs to help disorientate them.

Certain personality types feel particularly compelled to control other people


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HistoryGal
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18 Jan 2018, 4:01 pm

I know this all too well. I had to break the huge hold one of those types had on me. Turns out he was in league with my other bully.

I'm out of their orbit now. Took a huge push to break me free.

I appreciate you giving me a place to talk about it.



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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20 Jan 2018, 10:38 pm

I have some ideas about the strategy on a general level though I don't know the fine details.

My understanding is that the most powerful way to influence people is by doing so on different levels in a coordinated manner. I can think of 3 levels to be addressed.

-Direct Interaction(Directly communicating face to face with the target)
-Peer interactions(Their 1 to 1 interactions with other members of the social group)
-Social Environment (Group-think, etc)


If you could align all three at will towards whatever is advantageous towards your goals you can use them for control on "truth" basically what people believe to be true and this will also act as a situational/systemic force on the individuals as well. It would also be possible for a master manipulator to keep the victim in an incongruent state relative to the others and this can cause social isolation, ostracism or discredit them.


When you have high social status + solid credibility + strong trust with the group as a whole + the individuals in the group, and conversely the target has low social status + no credibility + mistrusted by everyone else you can then control the truth and basically have the group act as pawns to do your bidding. The result is a hostile social environment for the target that you can influence to further undermine the target. This hostile social environment becomes stable as most often new people joining the social group will end up also adopting the group's view towards the target as almost all evidence they see will support the position.

Therefore the first layer of the strategy is influencing each individual member to act in roles. They basically will act as propaganda agents disseminating the toxic messages, each one will contribute some towards acceptance by the target. This controlled social environment will also allow the abuser to break laws with impunity so long as there is no evidence, as within this controlled environment no one will testify against them. This allows stronger measures +methods to be used and also contributes to distorting the target's perception of reality as the abuser will be clearly breaking laws from their point of view yet there is no conceivable way to bring them to justice as evidence/witnesses are needed but won't be possible.


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HistoryGal
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21 Jan 2018, 8:34 am

Since I have no social status, I avoid groups.



ladyelaine
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21 Jan 2018, 1:49 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Since I have no social status, I avoid groups.


I'm with you on that.



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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21 Jan 2018, 2:44 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
Since I have no social status, I avoid groups.

Unless you are 100% isolated you have some form of social status. I am referring to reputation within social groups moreso than social class(though that can play a role).

It's basically what you're known for and what qualities they associate with you.


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hobojungle
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21 Jan 2018, 4:58 pm

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:
I have some ideas about the strategy on a general level though I don't know the fine details.

My understanding is that the most powerful way to influence people is by doing so on different levels in a coordinated manner. I can think of 3 levels to be addressed.

-Direct Interaction(Directly communicating face to face with the target)
-Peer interactions(Their 1 to 1 interactions with other members of the social group)
-Social Environment (Group-think, etc)


If you could align all three at will towards whatever is advantageous towards your goals you can use them for control on "truth" basically what people believe to be true and this will also act as a situational/systemic force on the individuals as well. It would also be possible for a master manipulator to keep the victim in an incongruent state relative to the others and this can cause social isolation, ostracism or discredit them.


When you have high social status + solid credibility + strong trust with the group as a whole + the individuals in the group, and conversely the target has low social status + no credibility + mistrusted by everyone else you can then control the truth and basically have the group act as pawns to do your bidding. The result is a hostile social environment for the target that you can influence to further undermine the target. This hostile social environment becomes stable as most often new people joining the social group will end up also adopting the group's view towards the target as almost all evidence they see will support the position.

Therefore the first layer of the strategy is influencing each individual member to act in roles. They basically will act as propaganda agents disseminating the toxic messages, each one will contribute some towards acceptance by the target. This controlled social environment will also allow the abuser to break laws with impunity so long as there is no evidence, as within this controlled environment no one will testify against them. This allows stronger measures +methods to be used and also contributes to distorting the target's perception of reality as the abuser will be clearly breaking laws from their point of view yet there is no conceivable way to bring them to justice as evidence/witnesses are needed but won't be possible.


I think I’ve observed this dynamic in child custody cases. People using other people as pawns to their own end: “flying monkeys”.



HistoryGal
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21 Jan 2018, 6:27 pm

I know what social status is....I just don't happen to have any.



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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21 Jan 2018, 10:09 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
I know what social status is....I just don't happen to have any.

Are there patterns in how acquaintances perceive you?


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HistoryGal
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22 Jan 2018, 6:23 am

I'm seen as irrelevant. That's just how I see things. I'd much rather have that status than be someone who gets picked at. I know I wouldn't stand a chance at a fair friendship with anyone so I don't leave myself open to exploitation. A sad way to live but after some disastrous friendships, I'm better off this way.



ladyelaine
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22 Jan 2018, 12:01 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
I'm seen as irrelevant. That's just how I see things. I'd much rather have that status than be someone who gets picked at. I know I wouldn't stand a chance at a fair friendship with anyone so I don't leave myself open to exploitation. A sad way to live but after some disastrous friendships, I'm better off this way.


I don't get too close to people because I don't feel like I stand on equal footing with anyone. People only come around when they need something and their popular friends aren't around. I don't like it when people are judgemental about where I am at in my life. Most people don't understand all the s**t I have been through. Most people make everything about them and don't make an effort to get to know me.



HistoryGal
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22 Jan 2018, 3:50 pm

Right on! Elaine



JustFoundHere
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23 Jan 2018, 3:24 pm

Thank-you for starting this thread.

It's important to articulate such horrible behaviors, and their consequences to written-words online; that is such descriptions, and discussions are important towards efforts to curb bullying!



jimmyjazzuk
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24 Jan 2018, 7:35 am

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-ca ... e-42744930

recent article about woman who arranges suicide pacts with depressed people. this thread made me think she could be gaslighter/ abuser who identifies weak poeple she can manipulate



SSJ4_PrestonGarvey
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24 Jan 2018, 1:44 pm

Interesting, I think you're probably right


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28 Sep 2019, 11:12 pm

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:
HistoryGal wrote:
Since I have no social status, I avoid groups.

Unless you are 100% isolated you have some form of social status. I am referring to reputation within social groups moreso than social class(though that can play a role).

It's basically what you're known for and what qualities they associate with you.


And your goal through pointing this out to someone, whom is isolated IS ...?


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