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Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 731

22 Jan 2018, 5:40 am

hurtloam wrote:
I'm not really in constant contact with anyone.

Apart from my sister who I text everyday. Who still texts me, but she doesn't count. She and I just text random observations on things and make each other laugh.

I'm always the first to get in touch and ask how someone is or to arrange a meet up. I try and text people every-so-often to touch base. That's the kind of texting i mean.

No one texts to ask me to meet up. It's always me who makes the effort.

Its been a couple of months of me not doing this and no one has text to meet up with me. Its not been just a few weeks of not texting if I think about it. Its been a couple of months. I didn't really do an experiment. I've just been too depressed to make any effort to reach out and I got nothing from anyone when I don't make the effort.

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. My mom contacts me on a regular basis, but the rest of the family only when they need something from me... not that I really mind; I do the same to them. That's our way and it works for us. But with friends... I can only think up two people who sometimes contact me without me doing so first. One's a diagnosed and a bit low functioning aspie and the other is very likely to have some kind of... mental handicap? I suppose I somehow attract people like that or something. I too have fallen out of contact with many since I haven't kept it up... I suppose that I'm someone people can hang out with, but only when they don't need to put in any effort. :roll:

Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 245
Location: California

04 Feb 2018, 2:16 pm

Yes, a chance to rediscover interaction the "old-fashioned way" - again, for the first time!!


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Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,399

06 Feb 2018, 6:33 am

I once invited the entire class when I was mainstreamed (31 people) to my birthday party in elementary school. Three people came, two of them I didn't like. My mother claims the low attendance was because I had been out ill for two months, which may have been the case but I'm skeptical.

Another time, when I was mainstreamed for a few months in middle school, I made a few friends and even had a party but again became ill and during that time was removed from mainstream. None of the friends I had made contacted me. I ran in to one a number of months later and she told me they had wondered what had happened to me (it didn't occur to me to contact them).

More recently, I thought I had lost my contacts when I had to replace my sim card and they were not transferred to internal memory before the card was destroyed. I put out a message on Facebook explaining I had lost my contacts and to text me their numbers. No one did. In fairness, my "Facebook friends" consist of people overseas I didn't have numbers for anyway, cousins who routinely lose their phone accounts, immediate family who's numbers I have memorized and who I see regularly, a friend who never signs on to Facebook, former co-workers who's number I don't need and who don't need me to have their number, and co-workers who do need me to have their number...shame on them for slacking off. Anyway it turns out I had a backup on my old phone and written down in a notebook. There was a second friend who would have eventually texted me anyway.


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Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,662
Location: None

06 Feb 2018, 2:21 pm

This is normal. If you don’t reach out, most people don’t bother. The people who do have people bother is a snowball effect of years of reaching out.