I don't know how to reject him.

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clay5 - If you definitely think he is a good guy who is not going to turn into an a***hole over this, then I would recommend being really honest with him i.e. saying, "I really like you as a friend and a person. I am really sorry because the past couple of weeks I know my behaviour has been giving you the wrong signals. I do mean it when I say I don't want a boyfriend and don't like sex. Last night has made me realise that things have gone too far due to my behaviour (hugs and kisses) giving you the wrong messages, but I really really mean it when I say I just want to be friends. For the next few months, I think we should only meet in public and not hug or kiss at all. Otherwise, I think one or both of us will get really really badly hurt."

I think it's possible even for ex partners where one dumped the other to remain friends. However, sexual attraction is a powerful thing. He's attracted to you and you've previously given in (understandably) to liking having cuddles from him, etc, hence the need for cast-iron boundaries around the interactions between you two at this point in time so neither of you gets more hurt by the situation in the future.

Probably_Drunk - The guy may be a wreck for a while. Many people are a wreck after being dumped or finding out that what they thought was a blossoming relationship isn't. Hopefully, he'll then realise that 2 weeks of cuddling and kissing is a pretty flimsy basis for planning the rest of his life around. Many relationships don't work out and many last a lot longer than 2 weeks before breaking down. If clay5 follows through on her intention of honourably stopping all romantic / sexual interaction from now onwards and the guy goes permanently off the rails, I would guess there was something majorly wrong in his life prior to him developing a crush on clay5 and trying to become her boyfriend. People get dumped for all sorts of reasons. It's horrible. Depending on other factors (like their overall mental health, what else has happened in their life, etc) they get over it more or less badly, taking a shorter or longer period of time to accept having been dumped. It seems to me completely unfair to paint clay5 as potentially ruining this guy's life. Surely anybody who lets a two-week romance ruin their life must have had other problems in that life to start with (otherwise, no matter how intense the 2 weeks were, they can afterwards focus on the other good areas of their life until such time as they're able to dismiss it as 'those crazy 2 weeks [e.g. those crazy 2 weeks I thought I would marry clay5 despite her being a committed lifelong singleton]').

clay5 - If you definitely think he is a good guy who is not going to turn into an a***hole over this, then I would recommend being really honest with him i.e. saying, "I really like you as a friend and a person. I am really sorry because the past couple of weeks I know my behaviour has been giving you the wrong signals. I do mean it when I say I don't want a boyfriend and don't like sex. Last night has made me realise that things have gone too far due to my behaviour (hugs and kisses) giving you the wrong messages, but I really really mean it when I say I just want to be friends. For the next few months, I think we should only meet in public and not hug or kiss at all. Otherwise, I think one or both of us will get really really badly hurt."

I think it's possible even for ex partners where one dumped the other to remain friends. However, sexual attraction is a powerful thing. He's attracted to you and you've previously given in (understandably) to liking having cuddles from him, etc, hence the need for cast-iron boundaries around the interactions between you two at this point in time so neither of you gets more hurt by the situation in the future.

Probably_Drunk - The guy may be a wreck for a while. Many people are a wreck after being dumped or finding out that what they thought was a blossoming relationship isn't. Hopefully, he'll then realise that 2 weeks of cuddling and kissing is a pretty flimsy basis for planning the rest of his life around. Many relationships don't work out and many last a lot longer than 2 weeks before breaking down. If clay5 follows through on her intention of honourably stopping all romantic / sexual interaction from now onwards and the guy goes permanently off the rails, I would guess there was something majorly wrong in his life prior to him developing a crush on clay5 and trying to become her boyfriend. People get dumped for all sorts of reasons. It's horrible. Depending on other factors (like their overall mental health, what else has happened in their life, etc) they get over it more or less badly, taking a shorter or longer period of time to accept having been dumped. It seems to me completely unfair to paint clay5 as potentially ruining this guy's life. Surely anybody who lets a two-week romance ruin their life must have had other problems in that life to start with (otherwise, no matter how intense the 2 weeks were, they can afterwards focus on the other good areas of their life until such time as they're able to dismiss it as 'those crazy 2 weeks [e.g. those crazy 2 weeks I thought I would marry clay5 despite her being a committed lifelong singleton]').

It’s not a Feminist thing at all. I’ve jumped the gun like this guy did—and I learned from it.

I’m not taking a Feminist stand on this situation.

Another consideration: the culture of the man. Maybe any sort of intimacy = Marriage ultimately.

He knew her for a full year before the cuddling thing. I think he was in love with her way before the 2 last weeks.

The two of you aren’t friends. He’s using you for sexual gratification & you are using him to fill a void in your life. The longer the situation continues, the more difficult it will be to end.

stop trying to make out that there's equal responsibility here, it's not about sexual gratification, he's clearly in love with her and planning a future with her.. she knows that he's a good guy and knows exactly what he wants, she's just been using the fact that he's in love with her to get what she wants, now she's led it to a place she doesn't want she's going to rip his heart out... if a guy did this you'd all be hating on him.

I wouldn’t criticize a guy like “a ton of bricks” if he did the same thing as her.

You know I’m a straight man, right?

He knew her for a full year before the cuddling thing. I think he was in love with her way before the 2 last weeks.

I agree this is possible, even probable, but until 2 weeks ago he had no grounds to consider it anything other than unrequited love. Unrequited love, like being dumped, is one of those things which can feel utterly, utterly horrible but which shouldn't utterly and permanently ruin a person's life and is unlikely to do so unless there are other major problems in that life to start with. Plus, however long he's been in love with her, planning a whole future life together based on only 2 weeks of romantic / semi-sexual response from her remains a pretty whacky course of behaviour.

the issue is that she knew what he wanted and continued to repeatedly kiss and cuddle with him knowing that in his mind things were getting more serious and that he was planning a future with her, and letting a guy rub his penis on you and ejaculate on you is a little more than something semi-sexual, it's a straight forward sex act, stop underplaying what she's done, she has been totally sh***y to this guy, used him and hurt him to satisfy her own needs, stop trying to make it sound like reasonable behaviour. what happened to defending victims?, oh right I forgot, only women get to be victims anymore.

nah the penis thing yesterday evening wasn't to use him or to satisfy my own needs or to lead him on; it marked the point where I end it. I was kind of surprised by it and had previously thought he might have no interest in sex, maybe also erectile dysfunciton, although I never really thought about it much, then suddenly this happened. Immediately after it I drove him to his night shift and took the decision it has to end for good, then I went home washed his semen out my hair, Probably Drunk, and that was yesterday, you can calm down now!