Male or female friends?
I'm female but I have always felt more comfortable around guys. I don't necessarily have a lot of male friends but I wish I did. Women have always scared me and left me feeling inferior. They are so much more difficult to understand with their innuendo and complex social hierarchies. Women bosses (at work) and women professionals scare me the most. I feel they are always regarding me like a bug in a jar.
In comparison, guys are generally more straight forward and literal. I can take them more at face value.
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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I don't have a specific preference, but I somehow feel as though I can bond easier with women than men. When it comes to bonding with other men, the conversations tend to stick to pretty superficial topics. With women, on the other hand, I've found that I can generally talk about deeper subjects.
It may have something to do with a mental barrier of some sort. Maybe I've adapted a mentality according to which men aren't deep thinkers, hence I'd just get weird looks if I tried to discuss philosophy. Or maybe I just always craved deeper connections with women without realizing.
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“They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.”
― Kurt Cobain
I'm a girl... I have a strong desire for girl friends.
I always wanted a big sister growing up but i didnt have any sisters, so I think that affects this. When I was a little kid, I got along best with all the boys. Girls seemed so catty even then. I'm sure I just couldn't make sense of their socializing. As I got older, I was luckily able to find female friends who had similar interests (video games, pokemon cards, etc), and from there, I started to figure out how to form relationships based on deeper things rather than just toys or hobbies. Still gravitated towards girls.
Now, I still have more boyish interests (love action adventure movies and working out, mostly hate chick flicks and shopping), but I find that I still much prefer girls. Still don't like the catty type that like shopping and chick flicks, but I do want to talk about feelings once in a while if possible
Currently, I have three IRL main friends. Two guys, one woman. I don't tend to hang out with the woman very often because she has a different work schedule to me, but on the rare occasion that we do see each other these days, then we do still get on.
Most of the time I hang out with two guys, both somewhat different to each other. One is slightly more extroverted than me, and is somewhat less prone to stress, whilst the other is quite shy, anxious, and quiet.
I think it's less to do with gender in my case, and more to do with attracting a certain kind of personality.
My course involves creating digital artwork, branding, and making games, so it tends to summon a more geekier crowd. We had to do a group project one time, and the feedback we got was "everyone looked extremely uncomfortable on camera, and this gives the audience the impression that they would rather be somewhere else".
An interest in video games, discomfort about being filmed, also being anxious and/ or a perfectionist is fairly common in my social circles. I tend to attract more socially inept/ uncomfortable individuals, for instance one of my friends dislikes making eye contact, and will often look just behind my left shoulder instead of looking me in the face when we are talking.
So instead of making eye contact with him, I look at his right shoulder or somewhere in the vicinity of the room because I know that it makes him uncomfortable when I look them in the face.
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24. Possibly B.A.P.
It may have something to do with a mental barrier of some sort. Maybe I've adapted a mentality according to which men aren't deep thinkers, hence I'd just get weird looks if I tried to discuss philosophy. Or maybe I just always craved deeper connections with women without realizing.
I agree totally with this. I've had a few male friends in the past (I'm male btw) that have been deep thinkers, but they're always emotionally distant. I like sports, music, TV and can talk about video games - otherwise I wouldn't of had a male friend. Politics can come in handy too.
I've enjoyed my brief friendships with women. They're at times eager to talk about things that I'm stressed about (life stuff) and like to talk about their life goals/dreams, non-superficial stuff. I've found these to be much more memorable and important conversations.
Male friends, especially in a group, tend to get more raunchy and when it comes to sex - too personal to me to be talking about.
I don’t have a preference but judging from my limited and narrow experiences I tend to find myself friends or talking more openly with guys than I do with women. I’m not sure why except maybe guys are a bit more direct and unapologetic. That’s not to say being friends with females would be out of the question. It’d be nice to have someone who was like a sister or something to that nature without the clingness.
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I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
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