Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Awkward
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 28 Oct 2016
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 187

01 Feb 2018, 3:24 pm

Hi all. Now I'll tell you something that is annoying for me.

I'm walking in the street, some people look at me and keep staring at me for some time. I'm starting to think I have a weird look or weird behaviours. Why do they look at me?



BitterCoffee
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 4 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 83

01 Feb 2018, 4:36 pm

They are probably looking at you for similar reasons you look at them.
Including but not excluding
-being bored
-a general desire to look at people over things
-people make noise even by walking and that causes an automatic reaction to turn ones head
-you’re a cool badass who looks gorgeous and they want your body
-they are anxious around people

People looking at you does no harm. It happens to everyone.



AspieSingleDad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Sep 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 657

01 Feb 2018, 5:18 pm

Maybe your just a good looking guy who is eye candy to all of us regular looking folks.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,728
Location: Maidstone, UK

02 Feb 2018, 10:05 am

When people say that people look at me because I must be attractive, it doesn't make me feel better. I'm not saying I'm not attractive, but I don't exactly have a 'friendly' look either, and usually people are drawn to people who look friendly. I'm not saying I look unfriendly, but I try to give off a "I just want to blend into the background, please don't look at me" type of expression, by looking straight ahead and not making eye contact to passing people. My dress style gives off that impression too; I look trendy and presentable but kind of 'ordinary', like the majority of 20-somethings, and I don't wear extreme colours or eccentric clothes or look silly or geeky or dirty or anything like that. I'm just, you know, average, and I know how to look normal on the outside.

I avoid eye contact with strangers, but that doesn't mean I can't see them staring, because I can still feel it, like they're burning a hole in my face.
But avoiding eye contact with strangers comes with it's own problems, because this causes me to hurry past people who I know and it looks like I am being unsociable, when it's not that at all. It's worse when I see a person looking at me in my periphery and I can't see who they are, so I turn away thinking "what do they think they're gawking at??", only to hear them say my name...then I feel like "oh s**t I know this person!". I then feel embarrassed because it looked like I didn't want to speak, but that is not the reason at all. I just thought it was some stranger staring at me. Of course, people staring because they KNOW me is completely acceptable, but people who I DON'T know who stare for no reason just causes severe social anxiety for me.

I used to be rather obsessive about people staring at me, and it'd sometimes cause me to cry myself to sleep. But these days it doesn't worry me as much as it used to, although it does sometimes bother me.


_________________
Female
Aged 29
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,660
Location: Seattle, WA

02 Feb 2018, 11:18 am

I'm black. I just moved into a white town about a month ago. I get stares every so often. In my case I have to believe it's because of my race and not because I'm good looking or people are bored or whatever.



Daniel89
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,592

02 Feb 2018, 11:31 am

They might be looking at you because you are looking at them, for years I wondered why strangers always smiled at me the I caught my reflection in a car window and saw I had a huge smile. When I am walking round I think of funny things in my head not realising I was smiling like a massive clown the entire time.



Awkward
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 28 Oct 2016
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 187

02 Feb 2018, 11:35 am

redrobin62 wrote:
I'm black. I just moved into a white town about a month ago. I get stares every so often. In my case I have to believe it's because of my race and not because I'm good looking or people are bored or whatever.


In my case I think people stare at me because of my behaviors (walking, etc) and facial expression. I walk like a robot. And i have a weird/innocent face. :(



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,728
Location: Maidstone, UK

08 Feb 2018, 8:19 am

Also I hate it when I catch people staring at me when I'm standing waiting for someone. I try to stand casually, with my hands by my sides, and try to focus on looking out for whoever I'm waiting for, but people still stare as they pass like I have 2 heads or something. I have to quickly glance at passing people if I'm looking out for someone, but when I do glance I could tell they were already staring BEFORE I glanced. They stare in an unfriendly way, like they hate me or something.


_________________
Female
Aged 29
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder