Self improvement to attract others

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TheSpectrum
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25 Apr 2018, 4:31 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Walk, jog, run, cycle, swim.. whatever! People just need to keep moving forward! 8)
Yes!


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AngelRho
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25 Apr 2018, 7:28 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
Hrm…, one of the few things I do is to walk as fast as possible without bumping into people or doing anything else dangerous.
I used to love doing that but for the last six months I've been having a lot of pain in my feet. The podiatrist says it's because my flat feed keep rolling inwards and my kung fu instructor says it's because I'm no longer an indestructible young man it means the muscles in my feet can't heal as rapidly as they used to. I have to find a way to stop my feet rolling.
Spiderpig wrote:
Swimming isn’t really a good idea if you’re alone, so I’m unlikely to do it anytime soon.
Really? All of the people I see swimming laps at the pool do it alone.

The people who go swimming with other people aren't doing it for exercise. They people doing it for exercise are by themselves.
Spiderpig wrote:
The one easy thing when you’re ludicrously fat is to exercise your legs for strength. Sometimes people seem surprised that, contrary to their first impression, I’m more than barely able to move on my feet.
This is true. I had strong legs when I was fat. The trouble is, when you get to be about 50 you lose the strength in your legs but you're still overweight. This happened to my mum and now she walks at about one mile per hour.

I don't want to be negative but you can't count on your youthful strength and vigour for your whole life. Eventually you'll have to find other strategies such as not being as heavy.

Exercise helps but it's not the panacea. My kung fu instructor does a lot of exercise yet, at 60, he still finds it difficult to stand up after sitting on the floor.

Good stuff.

Weight is just going to always be one of those ongoing struggles.

I’ve lost consistency in my routine. I’m doing more in short bursts, but I really need to find a way to work on endurance for longer periods of time. I’d been doing that up until December, but then I was sick most of the month and never really recovered in my routine. On the other hand, I’ve run 2 half marathons since then, so...

Now I’m refocusing on diet. My hemoglobin count is low right now, so I’m bulking up on vegetables. I find that red meat makes me want to overeat, whereas I can eat all the veg I want and not gain weight. I sauté carrots, green beans, peas, spinach, onions, bell peppers, jalapeños, and add crushed tomatoes to make a dense meal that is fairly low cal. I’ve been pigging out and only burning 500 cal in cardio workouts and have lost 5 lbs since Monday. I need to shed another 10 in the next week if at all possible because I have some running events coming up. I have a 10k on May 5 and 2 5k runs later in the month. One of those is a “color run” fundraiser for a former student of mine who has leukemia.

Exercise isn’t a panacea...but it does a ton of good towards staying healthy.

Swimming... I have a LONG way to go, but I want to eventually start doing triathlons. I just need a good bike, and I can’t afford one. But in the meantime I swim nearly every day the pool is open and in season. Off-season I lift weights to strengthen arms, shoulders, and chest. I’m hoping to see much improved performance in the pool by the end of the season this year. If I can keep a solid cardio workout going doing the front crawl, maybe I’ll add battle ropes to my indoor routine. The great thing about swimming and cross training is that you reduce your risk of injury, which in turn means longer workouts. And when you get used to that, you can trade out long days for shorter days with higher intensity, which is kinda where I am at the moment. I don’t deal with NEARLY the pain I had starting out.

As you get older, yeah, your body does sort of become a liability. Partly the reason I’m going all out now is I’m aware that I’m on borrowed time. If I’m gonna blow a knee eventually, might as well get as much use out of it as I can while it works.



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25 Apr 2018, 3:47 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I used to love doing that but for the last six months I've been having a lot of pain in my feet. The podiatrist says it's because my flat feed keep rolling inwards and my kung fu instructor says it's because I'm no longer an indestructible young man it means the muscles in my feet can't heal as rapidly as they used to. I have to find a way to stop my feet rolling.


Ouch! Luckily, my feet don’t seem to be flat, but I managed to twist one pretty painfully when I was still getting used to walking every day, after spending a lot of shameful years at my parents’ home. About a year later, I got a tiny fissure when one of my feet rolled outwards as I trotted down an irregular, stony path. They said it’d never fully heal, and I’d be left with one of those aches triggered by ill weather, but I’ve never noticed it—otherwise, I’d remember which foot it was! Yeah, I can see why some people would go out of their way so much to slow me down. But I seem to have learned to be more careful where and how I step, or maybe not to walk that fast.

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Really? All of the people I see swimming laps at the pool do it alone.

The people who go swimming with other people aren't doing it for exercise. They people doing it for exercise are by themselves.


I’d have to pay to swim at a pool, so I don’t even think of it as an option :lol: I meant more alone than that, without lifeguards.

RetroGamer87 wrote:
This is true. I had strong legs when I was fat. The trouble is, when you get to be about 50 you lose the strength in your legs but you're still overweight. This happened to my mum and now she walks at about one mile per hour.

I don't want to be negative but you can't count on your youthful strength and vigour for your whole life. Eventually you'll have to find other strategies such as not being as heavy.

Exercise helps but it's not the panacea. My kung fu instructor does a lot of exercise yet, at 60, he still finds it difficult to stand up after sitting on the floor.


Yep, better hurry up, I guess.


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goldfish21
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03 May 2018, 2:51 pm

A friend of mine just shared this on FB and I thought it would be great for this thread, particularly for a few specific members on these forums - I hope they read it:

Image


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03 May 2018, 4:47 pm

You don’t become great by trying to be great…. This reminds me of something. Sorry for what some will regard as blatant feminist propaganda.

Image

Title text: “Although not permanently.”

I stumbled upon XKCD at a time when I was very lost in life, and always found a way to think there was some profound philosophical meaning behind the silliest strip. I shed a tear or two when I read the title text above for the first time, not realizing it’s probably just a joke about Marie Curie’s comeback as a zombie.


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RetroGamer87
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04 May 2018, 2:54 am

goldfish21 wrote:
A friend of mine just shared this on FB and I thought it would be great for this thread, particularly for a few specific members on these forums - I hope they read it:

Image


I must disagree. I did want to be happy and I did want to be loved so I took steps towards being happy and being more desirable. This lead to happiness and love. None of this would have happened if I didn't spend many hours focusing on the things I didn't have.


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goldfish21
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04 May 2018, 3:40 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
A friend of mine just shared this on FB and I thought it would be great for this thread, particularly for a few specific members on these forums - I hope they read it:

Image


I must disagree. I did want to be happy and I did want to be loved so I took steps towards being happy and being more desirable. This lead to happiness and love. None of this would have happened if I didn't spend many hours focusing on the things I didn't have.


But yet you're agreeing because you say you didn't just dwell on the things you didn't have, you changed up your focus to being on taking the steps towards being happy and more desirable. That's the difference. You did exactly as the note says.. you stopped just focusing on wanting a positive experience (love) and accepted the negative experience for what it was ("I'm feeling unlovable. It simply is what it is. I acknowledge I'm feeling this. I don't like feeling it, though. I'm going to do something about it.) Then you were able to take decisive action and focus on the process, the journey, vs. an end goal and were able to do the things you needed to that would get you what you wanted. But had you just sat there and thought about the love you lacked instead of doing any of those other things, you'd feel worse and worse and wouldn't have achieved what you have.


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RetroGamer87
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04 May 2018, 8:05 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
A friend of mine just shared this on FB and I thought it would be great for this thread, particularly for a few specific members on these forums - I hope they read it:

Image


I must disagree. I did want to be happy and I did want to be loved so I took steps towards being happy and being more desirable. This lead to happiness and love. None of this would have happened if I didn't spend many hours focusing on the things I didn't have.


But yet you're agreeing because you say you didn't just dwell on the things you didn't have, you changed up your focus to being on taking the steps towards being happy and more desirable. That's the difference. You did exactly as the note says.. you stopped just focusing on wanting a positive experience (love) and accepted the negative experience for what it was ("I'm feeling unlovable. It simply is what it is. I acknowledge I'm feeling this. I don't like feeling it, though. I'm going to do something about it.) Then you were able to take decisive action and focus on the process, the journey, vs. an end goal and were able to do the things you needed to that would get you what you wanted. But had you just sat there and thought about the love you lacked instead of doing any of those other things, you'd feel worse and worse and wouldn't have achieved what you have.


Yes but the not says the more you pursue feeling better, the less satisfied you become. All I did was in pursuit of feeling better and it made me more satisfied.


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Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 04 May 2018, 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

goldfish21
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04 May 2018, 8:34 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
A friend of mine just shared this on FB and I thought it would be great for this thread, particularly for a few specific members on these forums - I hope they read it:

[img][img]https://scontent.fyvr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/31582186_2375635599117170_4917847453543170048_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=4676abf77b38c0d460684cc5c016a984&oe=5B587954[/img]


I must disagree. I did want to be happy and I did want to be loved so I took steps towards being happy and being more desirable. This lead to happiness and love. None of this would have happened if I didn't spend many hours focusing on the things I didn't have.


But yet you're agreeing because you say you didn't just dwell on the things you didn't have, you changed up your focus to being on taking the steps towards being happy and more desirable. That's the difference. You did exactly as the note says.. you stopped just focusing on wanting a positive experience (love) and accepted the negative experience for what it was ("I'm feeling unlovable. It simply is what it is. I acknowledge I'm feeling this. I don't like feeling it, though. I'm going to do something about it.) Then you were able to take decisive action and focus on the process, the journey, vs. an end goal and were able to do the things you needed to that would get you what you wanted. But had you just sat there and thought about the love you lacked instead of doing any of those other things, you'd feel worse and worse and wouldn't have achieved what you have.


Yes but the not says the more you pursue feeling better, the less satisfied you become. All I did was in pursuit of feeling better and it made me more satisfied.


But the point of the text is that you DID something in order to feel better, you didn't just sit there and wish you felt better. That's the difference. You didn't dwell on feeling better in hopes that you magically eventually would. You took action and put your focus on DOING the things that would make you feel better. That's the whole point of the text.


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RetroGamer87
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04 May 2018, 9:48 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
A friend of mine just shared this on FB and I thought it would be great for this thread, particularly for a few specific members on these forums - I hope they read it:

Image


I must disagree. I did want to be happy and I did want to be loved so I took steps towards being happy and being more desirable. This lead to happiness and love. None of this would have happened if I didn't spend many hours focusing on the things I didn't have.


But yet you're agreeing because you say you didn't just dwell on the things you didn't have, you changed up your focus to being on taking the steps towards being happy and more desirable. That's the difference. You did exactly as the note says.. you stopped just focusing on wanting a positive experience (love) and accepted the negative experience for what it was ("I'm feeling unlovable. It simply is what it is. I acknowledge I'm feeling this. I don't like feeling it, though. I'm going to do something about it.) Then you were able to take decisive action and focus on the process, the journey, vs. an end goal and were able to do the things you needed to that would get you what you wanted. But had you just sat there and thought about the love you lacked instead of doing any of those other things, you'd feel worse and worse and wouldn't have achieved what you have.


Yes but the not says the more you pursue feeling better, the less satisfied you become. All I did was in pursuit of feeling better and it made me more satisfied.


But the point of the text is that you DID something in order to feel better, you didn't just sit there and wish you felt better. That's the difference. You didn't dwell on feeling better in hopes that you magically eventually would. You took action and put your focus on DOING the things that would make you feel better. That's the whole point of the text.


Oh. Ok.


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goldfish21
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16 Nov 2018, 8:50 am

Just wanted to bump this thread as a reminder that even working on yourself in terms of the very, very, basics of diet & exercise is sure to make you happier, healthier, and more attractive to others. Can't go wrong with a little makeover, either.. haircut, hygiene, maybe some new clothes, too. As with many things, you get out of it what you put into it.. put in the work & effort it takes to get yourself into shape and others notice. This is tried, tested, and true stuff for eons.


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AngelRho
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16 Nov 2018, 10:25 am

Indeed! Thanks for the reminder.

I'm nearing the end of week 7 of marathon training. Today my goal is to run 8 miles at avg. 8:30/mile. Tomorrow my long run is 16 miles. And I'm phasing in a new pair of running shoes.

Something else to keep in mind with self-improvement is keeping the mind in good shape as well. I'm not 100% sold on Objectivism, but there are elements of it I find challenging, motivating, and encouraging. I don't recommend over-indulging on any one philosophy or world-view beyond your core values and beliefs (Objectivism is dead wrong on religion, IMO), but keeping the mind open to at least evaluating something out of your personal norm goes a long way to keeping yourself mentally strong. Objectivist thought on personal achievement and self-esteem is what's really keeping me on fire at the moment. Reading positive and encouraging literature, too, will reinforce your will to make and achieve goals by keeping you inspired. Before you can hit the gym or take better care of yourself otherwise, you have to first take care that your mind is in the right place, first. It will make things much easier to follow through on.

Monday I ran 4 miles in 40ºF temps with rain and high wind. Tuesday, 8 miles below 40º, lower humidity, even more wind. Last night, 5 miles under 40º. It's warmer today, and will be still warmer tomorrow. I'm feeling the effects of my body adapting to the cold. It's not fun. But I keep asking myself, "what if it's like this on race day in February?" I'll be counting my blessings that I trained for it, that hour after hour on the track I keep telling myself, "Pain does not exist. I expect better from myself and from this life. So I refuse to give any meaning to 'pain.' It is a LIE that my body is telling me. So let the temp drop and let the wind blow. I reject this pain." Pain is a lie. Injury, on the other hand, is REAL. My favorite shoes have long worn out, so fasciitis and shin splints can't be ignored anymore. Blisters are always a threat. So one day, around the start of my marathon training, I ran one mile, nonstop, on asphalt, barefoot. I haven't done it since. And yes, I was in severe pain until my feet healed. But they healed tougher. And I didn't stop my training because of it. I haven't had the first sign of blisters on my feet since.

It's the short-term goals that make it fun, too. My PR for the half-marathon is just under 2 hours. I believe I can knock it down to 1hr50min. I have one week after Thanksgiving to get ready for my 3rd half-marathon of the year, the first time I've raced this distance since April. The key is setting goals and staying motivated. You may not be training for a marathon. But there are many things in life that can be improved upon. It's more finding the right mindset that keeps you going no matter what that gets you there.



goldfish21
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16 Nov 2018, 11:16 pm

^Good stuff. Reminders are always good, but it doesn’t sound like you need much of one! I bumped this thread more for those who need complete paradigm shifts when it comes to attracting others.


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17 Nov 2018, 1:33 am

Dieting has helped a lot to improve my self-image and learning to speak to other people while trying to keep an open mind and not shut off to things about other people that used to really bug me has helped a lot.

Also reflecting on who I actually am as a person and the type of person I really want to be.

I don't want to be an as*hole because there are enough assholes who are ruining the world, I want to be a kind and compassionate person who cares about other human beings and doesn't judge others harshly. I want to be a person who wants to fix the world instead of hiding from it.

Also learning to think more positive has greatly improved my disposition. I think it does attract people. :)



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24 Nov 2018, 10:37 am

Good sleep is very important, ideally 8 hours quality sleep, if you are a light sleeper and do not get enough then magnesium can help a lot, you are likely deficient in magnesium and it is very important for athletic performance.

Good nutrition, concentrating on your diet is as important as learning to exercise and following a good workout plan. If you are serious about getting good results then starting off with some coaching might go a long way.

Finding a good workout plan is important but actually following it is far more important. Just to repeat this, you need to actually follow your workout plan and complete it.



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13 Jan 2019, 2:32 pm

New Year's bump!

All of these things are just as relevant in 2019 as they were thousands of years ago.

Plus there's the whole "new years resolution," crowd who decide to give a healthy diet & exercise a solid effort with the whole "new year, new me!" thing. I find it's better to just always live a healthy lifestyle, but hey, if it takes January 1st to spur someone into action, so be it. 8)


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