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auntblabby
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16 Feb 2018, 11:42 pm

Britte wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
prego :) be aware that some people react badly to kindness.


Yes, what is that? I know there are folks who perceive kindness as weakness and/or stupidity, and I have read that the same type of person will tend to loathe those character traits, and/or the people who possess them. I guess that's the answer in a nutshell. I have a problem where, if I see such people being treated differently, or poorly, even justifiably, so, I feel deep empathy for them. Particularly if they are being ignored. There is definitely something wrong with that, and I have only, recently, noticed this about myself. I cannot manage witnessing anyone being ignored, rejected or ostracized. It touches a nerve, and breaks my heart. Even if I am the one being ignored, rejected, or otherwise, it is the worst feeling in the world, to experience. rambling.

folks with the dark triad will tend to be in the behavioral category you described above. but I try to be good (and fail often) because of a somewhat selfish reason, in that I want to avoid as much as possible, having to explain myself to god, why I mistreated part of god's creation, why I denied love to one of god's own.



Raleigh
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16 Feb 2018, 11:43 pm

I have a problem with kindness because I don't believe I deserve it.
Which is my problem.
It seems more natural and logical to be abused.
Perhaps because I had an abusive upbringing and I don't think you ever get over that completely.


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auntblabby
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17 Feb 2018, 12:08 am

Raleigh wrote:
I have a problem with kindness because I don't believe I deserve it.
Which is my problem. It seems more natural and logical to be abused.
Perhaps because I had an abusive upbringing and I don't think you ever get over that completely.

my mother thought I was "very stupid" while my dad, uncharacteristically defended me by saying "he has a good mind, he just thinks differently." at least when he was sober. in any case, I had an abusive older sociopathic brother, and I was a reject loner all throughout my childhood as I had no peers, and it took me decades to learn how to love myself and to gracefully accept a compliment.



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17 Feb 2018, 12:12 am

auntblabby wrote:
"SSF"? can you tell me who was that person? and Ferdinand would be so glad to see my dad when he came home from school, that he would sidle up to him sorta prancing sideways, tail swishing about, mooing loudly.


I apologize. SSF = StampySquiddyFan. I miss her very much, and we'd always send our posts off to one another, with matching emoji's. 2 of each, representing her and I. : ) I adore her and hope she returns, here, at some point, in the future.



Last edited by Britte on 17 Feb 2018, 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

auntblabby
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17 Feb 2018, 12:22 am

I hope at least you can find her on FB or mebbe on another aspie forum somewhere.



blackicmenace
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17 Feb 2018, 12:22 am

Raleigh wrote:
I have a problem with kindness because I don't believe I deserve it.
Which is my problem.
It seems more natural and logical to be abused.
Perhaps because I had an abusive upbringing and I don't think you ever get over that completely.


Personally, I still feel guilty for wanting kindness, because I feel like I don't deserve it. However, I refuse to be abused by anyone else and you should too. You didn't deserve it then and you certainly don't deserve it now. There was a time I didn't feel the way I do today, there was a time I was angry with the world and even more so with myself. I still loathe myself, but I have learned to allow myself to be human. I hope with all my heart you too can learn to forgive yourself because you didn't deserve that sort of treatment.


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Britte
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17 Feb 2018, 12:44 am

elbowgrease wrote:
Is there a "pot of gold" emoji?


Hi elbowgrease. I don't believe I have ever noticed a pot of gold emoji. I would think it would be utilized, a good bit. I wonder if emojis can be added with updates to the forum software.



Raleigh
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17 Feb 2018, 12:49 am

blackicmenace wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
I have a problem with kindness because I don't believe I deserve it.
Which is my problem.
It seems more natural and logical to be abused.
Perhaps because I had an abusive upbringing and I don't think you ever get over that completely.


Personally, I still feel guilty for wanting kindness, because I feel like I don't deserve it. However, I refuse to be abused by anyone else and you should too. You didn't deserve it then and you certainly don't deserve it now. There was a time I didn't feel the way I do today, there was a time I was angry with the world and even more so with myself. I still loathe myself, but I have learned to allow myself to be human. I hope with all my heart you too can learn to forgive yourself because you didn't deserve that sort of treatment.

I'm much better now, but I still feel weird when people say kind things like you just did and I don't know how to respond to it.
It confuses me.


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auntblabby
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17 Feb 2018, 12:50 am

Britte wrote:
elbowgrease wrote:
Is there a "pot of gold" emoji?


Hi elbowgrease. I don't believe I have ever noticed a pot of gold emoji. I would think it would be utilized, a good bit. I wonder if emojis can be added with updates to the forum software.

Image



auntblabby
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17 Feb 2018, 12:52 am

I have found the best way to respond to compliments is with a smile and "thank you" :) one does not have to "feel" it, just do it so you won't have to worry about it later.



Britte
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17 Feb 2018, 12:52 am

auntblabby wrote:
I hope at least you can find her on FB or mebbe on another aspie forum somewhere.
Thank you. I don't have facebook, and I don't believe she did, either. I know she gets quite busy with school. She is 14, so I imagine she is in middle school, or, first year of high school and quite involved with music/violin. We share some of the same OCD symptoms, thus, we were helpful to one another, and had some nice conversations in the process. She is a lovely person and friend.



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17 Feb 2018, 12:54 am

thank you auntie for making me feel welcome and belonging here since day one and always being a positive presence in WP. :cat: i shan't forget you soon.


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Britte
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17 Feb 2018, 12:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
This is going to sound funny: but I had a cat who was my best friend when I was 15. She was a grey Persian longhair who, basically, prevented me from going over the "deep end."

I used to be rather severely afraid of dogs---but I came around as an adult. Nowadays, though I'm scared a little sometimes, I can pet dogs, and play with them.

A feral cat is, basically, a domesticated cat who was once in a home, but either was forced from a home, or left it on its own accord. Subsequent generations of cats from this one cat are also probably considered "feral." Not quite "wild," like a bobcat---but really close.

There are feral humans, too. They are the ones who were raised by animals, and have difficulty adjusting to "civilization."

I like horses, too---though I'm afraid to ride them because I was thrown from one when I was 8. I was made to get back on the horse by a camp counselor, resulting in me falling again. The horse was a temperamental horse, and I should never have been riding him/her. I do feel a bond when I'm around horses, though. I used to enjoy the show "Mr. Ed" very much when I was a kid. And I enjoyed other shows about horses, too.

I don't know that much about cows; I haven't been around them that much.


I think that is lovely that your cat was your best friend, and saved you in that way.

Thank you for the description/definition of feral cats ,and human ferals. That is interesting, and I feel as though I have heard of this.

I grew up in Malibu, California, and the homes were built on acres of land, back then, and it seemed there were farm animals, pretty much, everywhere. It was definitely, horse country. My parents would take my sisters and I, to a farm near our dentist's office, when we'd go get our teeth cleaned, and there were cows grazing about, sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, and other animals, and we would be invited to pet some of them. I was very reserved and cautious, and merely, enjoyed watching, but I remember, to this day, being extremely enamored with, and fixated on the animals, particularly, the cows.



auntblabby
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17 Feb 2018, 12:58 am

Britte wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I hope at least you can find her on FB or mebbe on another aspie forum somewhere.
Thank you. I don't have facebook, and I don't believe she did, either. I know she gets quite busy with school. She is 14, so I imagine she is in middle school, or, first year of high school and quite involved with music/violin. We share some of the same OCD symptoms, thus, we were helpful to one another, and had some nice conversations in the process. She is a lovely person and friend.

there are a few people I dearly miss here as well, such as Taupey and Spazzergasm who were the first two people to greet me and talk to me when I first started here.



auntblabby
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17 Feb 2018, 12:59 am

Britte, if those cows you saw in the field could talk to you, what do you suppose they'd say? I've often wondered about the secret life of animals.



Britte
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17 Feb 2018, 1:15 am

auntblabby wrote:
Britte wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I hope at least you can find her on FB or mebbe on another aspie forum somewhere.
Thank you. I don't have facebook, and I don't believe she did, either. I know she gets quite busy with school. She is 14, so I imagine she is in middle school, or, first year of high school and quite involved with music/violin. We share some of the same OCD symptoms, thus, we were helpful to one another, and had some nice conversations in the process. She is a lovely person and friend.

there are a few people I dearly miss here as well, such as Taupey and Spazzergasm who were the first two people to greet me and talk to me when I first started here.


That's nice that you had that experience. I hope you will, one day, again, see them, here, or elsewhere. I miss Stampy, DeepHour, C2V, Drawyer and a few others, and, although I converse with beakybird, via email, from time to time, I truly enjoy his presence on the forum, and frequently, find myself wishing he were here, selfishly. : )