Describe your autism in one word

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separate [adj]

From Merriam-Webster

1 a: set or kept apart, detached
  b: solitary, secluded (archaic)
  c: immaterial, disembodied
2 a: not shared with another, individual
  b: estranged from a parent body (often capitalized)
3 a: existing by itself, autonomous 
  b: dissimilar in nature or identity

Widdershins

My autism?

Disabling.

And I am incredibly jealous of those who can claim that their autism is not. Really makes me feel cheated, since I don’t really get any positives but have so much negative from mine.

late

me

Shutdowns...

(I have been on a lifelong research to find out what they were. Was never really able to describe what was going on in ways that doctors could understand and say they knew what it is. I never ever expected to find that the search would lead me to discover autism.
While I may not be on the spectrum, or I may well be on the spectrum? But to find out the experiences are known as shutdowns, and to find out they are linked to autism was both a complete revelation and an unexpected surprize. It opened up a whole new world of discovery in which at first, I was scared to find out more! At times it has been a shock. One evening I had three shocks one first, and then a little while later another and another straight after. Why? These shocks were the finding out that character traits that I had were also common autistic traits. I never knew!
And the discovery link to autism could not have come at a more desperate time because I hat hit either major burnouts or breakdowns a few times and I was unable to carry on in life as I was. It very nearly came to a life or death situation as I could not see a way forward. I had reached the point where I could not financially support myself due to the effects of burnout/breakdown, and I was going downhill fast. (I still do not know if it was burnout or breakdown. All I know is that they hit hard in a mental way and took ages and ages to recover from and actually each one I am not even sure I did fully recover from before I had another. Is why I am really greatful for this time where I can take things easy and to all the people who have given me help as they saved my life from disaster).

The story for me started off as a young child, and has ended up here, and has all been centred around trying desperately to find out an experience I now know to be shutdowns.

Valuable.

Even though nobody can see it and tend to treat me as subhuman. And every day is a big hardship. But I believe the world needs a lot of different kinds of minds. That’s what keeps me going. Despite all the discrimination I continue to face. I think humanity needs to change in a lot of ways and autistics I think can help with that. Silently or out loud.

Painful

Never for 59 years was able to understand why people as I perceived disliked me. Now it is clear why.

Erjoy29, I like your viewpoint! (Though I understand that your experience and mine definitely do not reflect everyone else's. If you've met one Autistic you've met one Autistic.)

Exhausting

horrific

Je Ne Sais Quoi

(ok, that is not one word - but neither is "Savoir faire" and "eierlegendewollmilchsau" isn't quite right)

Lonelyness