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blackicmenace
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24 Feb 2018, 1:35 pm

But if someone is a stranger to you, why would you expect that they would know the niceties about you? I wouldn't expect anyone to be overly observant when addressing me in an informal situation.


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kraftiekortie
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25 Feb 2018, 6:01 pm

It can very well be offensive in this particular context.

Because the “lady” is a server. And the one being served expressed impatience. If it was just a request for check or something, an “excuse me”would have been better, accompanied by the person’s name (If known)

Even “miss” is better.



DancingQueen
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25 Feb 2018, 6:21 pm

Sounds very offensive to me. They should have said "excuse me".


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blackicmenace
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25 Feb 2018, 6:27 pm

Understood, jerks will be jerks. Some people just can't be bothered to show any resemblance of respect. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


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kraftiekortie
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25 Feb 2018, 6:36 pm

It’s like saying “Hey you!”



Chronos
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25 Feb 2018, 9:22 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
In my country we still commonly use the french titles: Madame for married, Mademoiselle for the unmarried.

The confusing part is some really get offended if you use the wrong title with them - single women get offended when you call them by mistake Madame because it makes them feel older while married women feel being inapporprely addressed if you call them Mademoiselle by mistake , no man comprehends why, so you have to glare at the women’s hand as attempt to know their marital status before addressing them with the correct title.


Is there perhaps a stigma being older unmarried female in Lebanon?


Such stigma exists everywhere - don’t you have the “lady with 20 cats” stigma?


Yes...the crazy old cat lady. However what I meant was, perhaps older Lebanese women think that by calling them "mademoiselle" instead of "madame" you are implying they were not good enough for someone to marry them. In the U.S. if you called an older woman "mademoiselle" she would likely think you were trying to flatter her by implying she looked young.



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Feb 2018, 8:39 am

Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
In my country we still commonly use the french titles: Madame for married, Mademoiselle for the unmarried.

The confusing part is some really get offended if you use the wrong title with them - single women get offended when you call them by mistake Madame because it makes them feel older while married women feel being inapporprely addressed if you call them Mademoiselle by mistake , no man comprehends why, so you have to glare at the women’s hand as attempt to know their marital status before addressing them with the correct title.


Is there perhaps a stigma being older unmarried female in Lebanon?


Such stigma exists everywhere - don’t you have the “lady with 20 cats” stigma?


Yes...the crazy old cat lady. However what I meant was, perhaps older Lebanese women think that by calling them "mademoiselle" instead of "madame" you are implying they were not good enough for someone to marry them. In the U.S. if you called an older woman "mademoiselle" she would likely think you were trying to flatter her by implying she looked young.



Probably they assume the man is trying to approach them romantically when calling them Mademoiselle/Demoiselle (means he's assuming they're single) so they rise their defenses by asserting they're married.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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26 Feb 2018, 8:50 am

MissConstrue wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
(The only reason I posted here is because i noticed your name on the main listing on main page).

In my English understanding the word "Lady" is equivalent to 'gentleman' , not to 'man'.

So you have to comeback with a "Hey gentleman!".

It would sound better if you wear a court dress and them wearing the silly white wigs. :>


I almost thought of that but given the context, I think boys would have been a more appropriate term or maybe stingbums since they never tipped me and left a huge mess to clean up. I could only imagine the foppish wigs dangling in pints of ales.


I suspect their tone of voice was anything but courtly. That (tone of voice) seems to be missing from our discourse... now, I AM an old lady with cats, so my response would probably not work for you. But just in case it might: Stand straight and tall, look at them over your glasses in the best "teacher" manner, and respond,

"Yes, children?"

In your most mellifluous tones.

Regardless of their age. It's a much sharper message, of course, if they're between 16 and 30.


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26 Feb 2018, 9:25 am

When faced with a wrong order at a restaurant, I just tell a waiter (not necessarily mine) what the issue is.


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