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sidetrack
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01 Mar 2018, 5:26 pm

Interesting how 'regret' and 'repent' are the same word in Spanish; the neuro- or psycholinguistics of Catholic guilt need not apply. I would also like to say beforehand how I would have an issue with an answer of 'care less' or 'don't care as much' or something that effect.

I am very capable of having regret. For instance at this moment I could choose to meditate in the library I am currently at and there will be a feeling in my mind that by the time I would need to go (when it gets dark, basically) I won't look be able to skim through a certain book with a title which is fascinating to and hold 'implications to me' for having come into contact with (a compilation of three novelizations related to the 'Myst' games series, apparently)--there would be a feeling in my my mind of 'you should have read that before you meditate...you should read/skim through it after it will be 'healthier for you that' way..you shouldn't meditate and do something like skim through a book before doing something more important like update a resume...you should update a resume before skimming through a book or meditating' etc,etc in regards to the combinations.

The 'self-pressure' is difficult to qualm and makes for an internal distraction that won't say that what I did was 'right' even if I pick 'one route/line of choice' over another.

Even at this moment--regret over 'what could be' I don't type this.

Is there a way to diminish the feeling of regret more effectively?..



kraftiekortie
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01 Mar 2018, 8:38 pm

By actively seeking to mitigate the cause of the "regret" in the first place.



AnneOleson
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01 Mar 2018, 8:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
By actively seeking to mitigate the cause of the "regret" in the first place.

But how do you decide which “regret” to mitigate first?



kraftiekortie
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01 Mar 2018, 8:50 pm

I would pick the "regret" that either

1. That's causing the most distress

2. That is easiest to mitigate because you already know what would mitigate it.

People are dynamic. They rise up from the "depths" all the time.

Just because you can't do something when you're 22, doesn't mean you can't do it when you're 32.



AnneOleson
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01 Mar 2018, 9:47 pm

Sometimes just doing small things is so hard. Executive dysfunction and regret can go hand in hand



kraftiekortie
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01 Mar 2018, 9:55 pm

Don't you believe it's better to take "baby steps" than to take "no steps at all?"

I'm not an advocate of "positive thinking." I never liked "self-help" books.

But I don't like it when people preclude themselves from rising out of the bad situation they are in.



AnneOleson
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02 Mar 2018, 12:23 am

Oh yes! I’m thrilled when I can do baby steps. Some regrets aren’t fixable, but you can learn to forgive them.



Goth Fairy
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02 Mar 2018, 3:29 am

If you're in the library, can you check out the book and read it at home?

This reminds of the old "choose your own adventure books" where you had to make a choice about what to do and turn to a certain page to find out what happens. If you make the wrong choice, you could always go back to the point of descision and try a different path. But you can't do that in real life.

I sometimes get overwhelmed by choices. I think the first step is to understand that you will get some choices wrong and there will be things that you miss out on, but that's OK. Making mistakes helps us to learn, instead of regrettinga choice, think about what it teaches you and what you might do differently next time. Focus on the things that you have done and enjoyed because they are the things that will bring you contentment.

Remember you can try things another day. So if you are torn between two or three courses of action, you can choose to do one option today and another option tomorrow.

I don't regret much becaue even though there are many things that I got wrong, my experiences have me the peson I am today. I may not be amazing, but I am happy.


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sidetrack
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02 Mar 2018, 12:53 pm

Could such things said apply to job searching and applying for positions as well?.



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02 Mar 2018, 1:59 pm

Always Do Your Best.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Don Miguel Rui


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IstominFan
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02 Mar 2018, 4:26 pm

kraftiekortie,

I'm not into self-help books, either. They are nauseating in their simplicity. I would rather hear about how real people faced a problem and solved it. That is one of the reasons I like Denis Istomin. He rose above adversity and succeeded.



sidetrack
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02 Mar 2018, 7:03 pm

Not one to mince emotions.

Reading Hannah Tillich's memoir('s(?)) while training: an idea.



renaeden
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02 Mar 2018, 9:40 pm

I learnt at uni that there's the regret of inaction, and there's the regret of action.

Most people are bothered by the regret of inaction because they wish that they had done something but the opportunity to do so has passed and they can do nothing now and in the future but regret it.

With the regret of action, it can always be said, "Well at least I tried something." and the person can continue with a clear head thinking they couldn't have done any more than they did.



sidetrack
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03 Mar 2018, 2:08 am

sidetrack wrote:
Not one to mince emotions.

Reading Hannah Tillich's memoir('s(?)) while training: an idea.


This I meant to place in the 'Got Anything Random To Say' thread.