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The Grand Inquisitor
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06 Mar 2018, 1:41 pm

Being on the autism spectrum is generally thought to mean deficits in social skills and probably rightly so, but I find I can reach similar social conclusions to NTs sometimes but instead of empathising with others as much and intuitively knowing what they're thinking/feeling or what they want, I tend to find myself reaching those conclusions through analysing the situation and figuring out the most likely explanations for others' behaviour, tone and words and what the implications and necessary responses might be.

How do you find you navigate through social situations?



starry123
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07 Mar 2018, 6:51 pm

I do this too. Along with everything I learned through many years of studying Psychology :lol:


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DHolden5884
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08 Mar 2018, 6:26 am

I sometimes do this, but also to myself as well, as I have difficulty with reading body language. If something is being said in body language rather than words then I have difficulty catching on, so I have to consider what the best response is to any interaction I'm in.



y-pod
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08 Mar 2018, 7:02 am

I do the same thing. It works most of the time when people say ordinary, expected things to you. But when they suddenly bring up something different I have trouble comprehending, and need to ask them again. That tend to interrupt the flow of the conversation. Socializing is like doing a presentation. You got all prepared for it, and at the end you say "any questions?" to the crowd. Inside you're praying that nobody ask questions you didn't prepare for, then someone ask a question so odd you didn't even understand it. At that point most NT can smooth it over, and most of us would be stuck.


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Mudboy
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08 Mar 2018, 8:15 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
How do you find you navigate through social situations?
I muddle through because my social interactions are not instinctive like an NT. I took psychology and classes on interpersonal relationships. Every social interaction still goes down my logic paths for analysis. With age comes more experiences to evaluate, so the paths are shorter. I still navigate poorly.


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timf
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09 Mar 2018, 7:50 am

I have found analyzing the only way to deal with these situations.

One can acquire a sort of library of platitudes and reflex responses appropriate for most social situations that allow acceptable functioning.

However, what makes social engagement worth the effort is encountering the infrequent person with whom conversation is not a chore but a treat.

I have found that administering an "intentional life" first requires modification of processing structures that were first developed from the perspective of a child. These structures form the greatest hurdle for Apergers people to overcome.

The analytical approach is a very useful method to use in self-reflection and alteration.

http://christianpioneer.com/blogarchiev ... e_2017.pdf



Werdd
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09 Mar 2018, 10:42 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
How do you find you navigate through social situations?


In short; I don't.

My social circle currently consist of two cats and a dog.
But before, when I forced myself to attend social situations, I enjoyed being a wallflower; having an overview of the theatrical play unfolding.

Being a great actor, strangely enough, means I can fake it til I make it by having an understanding of their clique, interests, dislikes, current mood and so on. So if I had to converse, it would be an internally rehearsed dialogue, with logically sound concepts. Working best with people I've only met a few times; I could appear socially adept. Full of confidence, knowledge, banter, and humor. But after a while, my script would run out and I turned quiet. (Which was my cue to leave.)

When it's on a more personal level I'm a man of few, if any words; saying things only when necessary. This usually turns into awkward silence since most rarely have anything worthwhile to talk about.

Social interaction tires me. I don't understand it. I don't really know how to engage in it. I either say too much or too little. So I just steer clear.



AceofPens
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09 Mar 2018, 7:39 pm

I'm half intuitive and half hopeless when it comes to socializing. I'm very good at interpreting people's tones and behaviors - maybe even better than most NT's. At least, in the sense that I can pick up on what they're feeling, understand why they act the way they do, and predict responses. I have trouble participating, though. I just don't seem to know how to respond, even with a thorough understanding of what's going on from the other side of the conversation. A librarian tried to engage in a conversation with me a while back about local history, which enraptured me because it's one of my obsessions, but I couldn't figure out where or how to interject with indications that I was enjoying the topic. She ended her story, and I just blurted, "Thank you. I've been studying that recently...Good day!" and ducked out.


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09 Mar 2018, 8:06 pm

I'm a major analyser, but primarily so I can create realistic characters.


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starcats
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09 Mar 2018, 8:40 pm

I do this, and I didn't realize until recently that others do not do this.