Any fiction writers here? I'm close to giving up on it.

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SpreadsheetMaster
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10 Mar 2018, 4:11 pm

Here's an example of something that everyone else is in agreement on but I don't get, even if it hasn't come up that much for me. Varying sentence length.

http://i.imgur.com/8usNRMy.png

There is no difference between reading the first paragraph and the second to me. I have no issue reading tons of sentences of exactly 5 words in a row. I don't understand why it's a problem for other people.



Veggie Farmer
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10 Mar 2018, 9:07 pm

SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
Veggie Farmer wrote:
Do not feel bad at all about your feedback! You’re just starting out, of course you have much to learn! There is a saying repeated often by my fellow Amazon authors to newbies - the first million words you write are just practice. It takes everyone loads of time and hard work to learn professional writing skills!

Writing for an audience is very different and much harder than writing for fun. You have to see your work objectively from a stranger’s point of view and know what will please them. (One of the many, many reasons to hire an editor!) Thousands of books are released weekly just on Amazon, not to forget all of the other works on other sites coming out at the same time. To compete, you have to offer buyers the best version of what they want to read. I don’t want to agree with the reddit meanies, but underneath their frothing they shared some good advice. People get turned off by writing styles they don’t like, or having too many characters to track. If you want to sell, you have to write what people want. A great quote my friend sent me - the first draft is for the writer, the second for the editor, and the third for the reader.

From my experience, the main reason ‘show don’t tell’ matters is flow. Flow is important - what a reader usually wants most is to get lost in the story. Your goal is to make your reader forget they’re reading, by chosing descriptive and non-invasive wording that best reflects real human interactions. Phrases like ‘she said dejectedly’ or ‘he was morose’ kick people out of the flow, especially if they show up often. Practical advice: listen to your writing using a read aloud function in your word processing program. You’ll hear what sounds odd or stilted. Think about how people convey their moods and emotions in real-life (which is rougher for us spectrum people, I know!) I’m still working on this too - I have characters sigh and shrug way too often. We all have ways to improve!


Yeah, I don't really understand how show don't tell accomplishes that. To me there's no real difference between the two when reading. Maybe I just don't get submersed into stories the way other people do. Unfortunately I already tried reading aloud dialogue people pointed out as stilted per their suggestion and it was fine to me. I think these are both Asperger's issues.


We had a discussion on a different thread about the tendencies of Aspie writers/readers - I think you’re right that many Aspies share your writing style. These are not my fandoms, but the way you describe your style sounds similar to some of the noir crime books from the twenties, and some modern hard SF writers. You likely have a niche out there of readers who share your preferences and would love your work, and I hope you find them, but most NTs will find it challenging.

Odd thought popping out- if you have a favorite TV or movie character, check out a set of fan fics written about them. It’d be interesting to see if you notice how different writing styles affect the portrayal of a character you already know well.


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SpreadsheetMaster
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12 Mar 2018, 9:08 am

What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.



Veggie Farmer
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12 Mar 2018, 1:11 pm

SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


aspie authors writing social interactions. It just had some new activity in the last couple of days.


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SpreadsheetMaster
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12 Mar 2018, 3:09 pm

Whoops. Sticky topics usually fly over my head. I'll give it a look.



NorthWind
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13 Mar 2018, 1:07 pm

SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
"He hated him with every fiber of his being"

That specific quote came up while my MC was privately thinking about someone he was suspicious of for a while but proved himself to be a monster. I personally think having that line made sense in context...

It might make sense in that context. As I don't know your book I wouldn't know. Simply stating a character's feelings absolutely can work in the right context.

As a rule of thumb I'd say, if the scene - whether it's action, dialogue or other thoughts of the character - make it clear how the character feels, it's usually repetitive to explicitly write it down. If the reader has no other way to figure it out it doesn't have to be the wrong way to get that information across.


SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
This is currently an issue with my 6 main characters befriending 6 other characters in preparation for a battle against extremely long odds. My group wants me to cut all of the 6 other characters, but I have specific roles for 2 of them, want 2 of them to die in battle so the fight isn't too easy without killing off any of the main 6 at this time (it's the first battle), and the remaining 2... to cut them would weaken the significance of a much later scene. Unfortunately these extra 6 came up kind of suddenly and I didn't give them a lot of characterization, but I'm hoping just changing that could be enough to fix the problem. I also don't think it would make any sense for my main 6 to do this fight without that amount of support, and that long story short, I've basically boxed myself in as far as that fight goes and see no alternatives to how I'm handling it.

Readers are often better at telling you what scenes of your book are not good than at telling you how to fix them.
Assuming that there really is a problem with those additional characters, removing them is one way to fix it. It may require changing a lot of other things, details about your plot, details about what skills or knowledge your main characters posses or parts of the past of some characters...
It's probably not the only way to fix the problem. Improving the characterization of these additional characters, like you mentioned, may be another way to do so. It depends on why readers don't like them. If they are boring but take up a lot of space that could be filled with actions and interactions of more interesting characters readers won't like them. In that case improving them might make readers less annoyed with them.
Another alternative may be to degrade some of them to minor characters. You could have these additional characters to keep the fight plausible and to have some die without investing much time into them. You could keep the focus on the main characters and possibly on one or two new ones if they will be important later on and not allow the other new ones to distract from the better developed characters.
And there could be a lot of other possibilities to resolve the issue. You'll have to find one that works for you. Since I don't know your book anything more specific I say would be a blind guess and likely not at all relevant (even so it already is a quite blind guess).



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17 Mar 2018, 6:34 pm

Writing good fiction (esp. stories that retain their continuity) presents a challenge; hence it's easy to give-up. Yet, the experience of writing can offer healthy challenges!

By any chance, has anybody considered the genre of metafiction? I've read informative books on writing written by.......authors of metafiction. (METAFICTION LINK) at bottom of post.

Another development I'm following with interest is a word-processing program applying artificial intelligence TECH. to assist with writing (LINK); that is a word-processing program piquing the interests of both amateur, and professional writers alike!

(LINK): UC Berkeley Professor Invents Word Processor to Catch Plot Holes in Writing.
http://www.dailycal.org/2017/10/04/uc-b ... g-process/

(METAFICTION LINK): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metafiction



Chronos
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18 Mar 2018, 1:57 am

SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


The offer still stands to review your writing if you wish for me to do so.



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18 Mar 2018, 12:54 pm

I'm not nearly so far along with my fiction writing, but this thread has got me thinking about how I'd respond to technical criticism. I'd agree with North Wind that readers may spot the problems but not give the best advice on fixing them. My experience in my local songwriting group was similar- I learned to consider all suggestions as just another thing to try. And to hastily discard in many cases...

One idea: go back to the real experts! Say there's an issue with how your characters express emotion. Take a chapter of a novel you admire and know quite well, and re-read it. Instead of following the story, take notes. Is this writer naming emotions, or describing facial expressions and behaviour? Using vivid metaphors, or matter-of-fact description? Or letting the dialogue and action do the work? Gets you an insight into the nuts and bolts of a kind of writing you have some affinity for.

My main problem is that I cannot plot to save my life. Recently I've deliberately paid more attention to the structure of stories, re-reading some old favourites to ask, "OK, what happens when, and why does it happen then?"


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SpreadsheetMaster
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18 Mar 2018, 1:55 pm

Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


The offer still stands to review your writing if you wish for me to do so.


Oops, I completely overlooked your first post. My first book was ~182K words at the second draft. The group I'm showing it to now is on the third draft. They finished the first story arc last week, which as of the third draft was ~41K words. I haven't gotten to incorporating their line edits on any part of it yet, but once I do that I could send you the first arc.



Veggie Farmer
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18 Mar 2018, 3:11 pm

SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


The offer still stands to review your writing if you wish for me to do so.


Oops, I completely overlooked your first post. My first book was ~182K words at the second draft. The group I'm showing it to now is on the third draft. They finished the first story arc last week, which as of the third draft was ~41K words. I haven't gotten to incorporating their line edits on any part of it yet, but once I do that I could send you the first arc.


182k words?? Wow, that’s a lot! You may want to consider splitting that into two average-sized books. You’ll make more money than with one big book.


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SpreadsheetMaster
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18 Mar 2018, 3:37 pm

Veggie Farmer wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


The offer still stands to review your writing if you wish for me to do so.


Oops, I completely overlooked your first post. My first book was ~182K words at the second draft. The group I'm showing it to now is on the third draft. They finished the first story arc last week, which as of the third draft was ~41K words. I haven't gotten to incorporating their line edits on any part of it yet, but once I do that I could send you the first arc.


182k words?? Wow, that’s a lot! You may want to consider splitting that into two average-sized books. You’ll make more money than with one big book.


I really don't want to split it when I already have 12 sequels planned :(



Chronos
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19 Mar 2018, 2:15 am

SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


The offer still stands to review your writing if you wish for me to do so.


Oops, I completely overlooked your first post. My first book was ~182K words at the second draft. The group I'm showing it to now is on the third draft. They finished the first story arc last week, which as of the third draft was ~41K words. I haven't gotten to incorporating their line edits on any part of it yet, but once I do that I could send you the first arc.


If you just need pointers as to your writing style...prose and syntax and perspective, then I would just need a few pages, as I would be looking at your inherent writing patters rather than focusing on the story as a whole.



SpreadsheetMaster
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19 Mar 2018, 5:30 pm

Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


The offer still stands to review your writing if you wish for me to do so.


Oops, I completely overlooked your first post. My first book was ~182K words at the second draft. The group I'm showing it to now is on the third draft. They finished the first story arc last week, which as of the third draft was ~41K words. I haven't gotten to incorporating their line edits on any part of it yet, but once I do that I could send you the first arc.


If you just need pointers as to your writing style...prose and syntax and perspective, then I would just need a few pages, as I would be looking at your inherent writing patters rather than focusing on the story as a whole.


Oh, yeah, that would be way easier for both of us. I think I have a scene in mind. I'll get it ready soon. How do you want it?



Chronos
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19 Mar 2018, 9:56 pm

SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SpreadsheetMaster wrote:
What was that thread? I really don't want to rely on Aspies and the like to carry me over; that sounds like too tiny a niche.


The offer still stands to review your writing if you wish for me to do so.


Oops, I completely overlooked your first post. My first book was ~182K words at the second draft. The group I'm showing it to now is on the third draft. They finished the first story arc last week, which as of the third draft was ~41K words. I haven't gotten to incorporating their line edits on any part of it yet, but once I do that I could send you the first arc.


If you just need pointers as to your writing style...prose and syntax and perspective, then I would just need a few pages, as I would be looking at your inherent writing patters rather than focusing on the story as a whole.


Oh, yeah, that would be way easier for both of us. I think I have a scene in mind. I'll get it ready soon. How do you want it?


You can PM it if you want or provide a link to it if you have uploaded it somewhere.