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Romansky123
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10 Mar 2018, 2:59 am

Is there something wrong with only having friends of the opposite gender


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apus apus
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10 Mar 2018, 6:26 am

No



Tequila
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10 Mar 2018, 6:34 am

Romansky123 wrote:
Is there something wrong with only having friends of the opposite gender


In and of itself? No.

But it depends. Do you have any ulterior motives for only having male friends?



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10 Mar 2018, 6:54 am

If there are only opposite-gender people somewhere, chances are you don’t belong there.


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10 Mar 2018, 6:58 am

Spiderpig wrote:
If there are only opposite-gender people somewhere, chances are you don’t belong there.


You do if you have an interest and/or are looking to make a private acquaintance with some of them.



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10 Mar 2018, 7:01 am

In my experience, even in that case, and even if some of them are friendly and welcoming, others will frown on your presence and find a way to make you uncomfortable till you leave the group.


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10 Mar 2018, 7:02 am

Spiderpig wrote:
In my experience, even in that case, and even if some of them are friendly and welcoming, others will frown on your presence and find a way to make you uncomfortable till you leave the group.


Enthusiasm and charisma makes the difference.

But have a real interest and resonate that.



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10 Mar 2018, 7:18 am

I'm used to having male friends but it got harder because they began to struggle with the concept of us JUST being friends.

I think I'll always find it easier to get closer to men than women platonically, though they are more likely to have ulterior motives


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10 Mar 2018, 7:20 am

Goldilocks wrote:
I'm used to having male friends but it got harder because they began to struggle with the concept of us JUST being friends.


Then you set clear boundaries if you don't want. Don't use them for validation.



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10 Mar 2018, 7:42 am

I’ve never struggled with the idea of being just friends with anyone, because I’ve never been in any situation in which it made much sense to expect anything beyond that. Friendship itself has always been unattainable enough to me as it is.

On the other hand, when I as a teenager was excited about making female friends, I think I actually wanted to have a girlfriend, but I’d have never been allowed to and I didn’t even know what that meant, so friendship was the only concept my mind could work with.


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Goldilocks
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10 Mar 2018, 7:53 am

Tequila wrote:
Goldilocks wrote:
I'm used to having male friends but it got harder because they began to struggle with the concept of us JUST being friends.


Then you set clear boundaries if you don't want. Don't use them for validation.


Validation? I often made friends with them based off of similar interests, humour, personality and things like that. I never considered or even cared about them seeing me in a sexual or romantic way. I've actually lost a lot of friends because of this. I'm bisexual too, so being attracted to men is definitely not a given

My male friends, in my eyes, were just as emotional as any of my female friends, they just handled it differently. I'm also not conventional as a woman.

I dislike you implying that there is anything wrong with validation. Friends are meant to allow you to be yourself and feel comfortable without having ulterior motives


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10 Mar 2018, 7:57 am

Goldilocks wrote:
Tequila wrote:
toI dislike you implying that there is anything wrong with validation. Friends are meant to allow you to be yourself and feel comfortable without having ulterior motives


I was more referring to physical and sexual validation as opposed to platonic positive reinforcement.



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13 Mar 2018, 6:02 pm

I only had female friends up until I went to university. At uni I only made male friends and today my few remaining friends are all male and are a whittled down group consisting of the ones that prioritised being friends over any interest or pursuit of sex and physical intimacy. I just find males much easier to communicate with. Also I don't enjoy typical female interests.

One thing I would say is it makes making new friends harder for me because I got to a certain age where most people are married and frown upon you talking to their husbands, especially given you don't do a good job of talking to them ( the woman).


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