In A Friendzone

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The last girl who friendzoned me legitimately friendzoned me. Actually did want to be friends, but I'm not interested in that so I basically told her to leave me alone. This was about a month ago and she hasn't talked to me so I think she got the message. Don't have time to waste on being friends, and you shouldn't waste yours either.

I respectfully disagree. A relationship with someone of the opposite sex doesn't have to be romantic for it to be worth maintaining - even a platonic relationship has something to give. Said something being experience in communicating with the opposite sex, if in a bit of a different context, but it's transferable to romantic relationships later on.

Granted, you'll get to know the person less intimately as opposed to if you were in a romantic relationship with her, but with enough luck, the two of you will become close friends to the point of knowing every inch of each other. A male and female being best friends isn't a concept completely unheard of. In some ways, I'd even argue it's a much more beneficial situation than a romantic relationship.

I know that male and females can be friends. I had several in high school that were friends with me. But me or them didn’t have anything romantic going on. Well because I had my ex.

If you dumped her because the relationship was no longer "convenient" for you, then you've already demonstrated that you're more than willing to place other things in your life above her.

If I was her, I wouldn't want to get back with you either.

Well I thought I would probably never see her again. I only saw her during school. And I graduated and she was 2 grades below me.

It's also possible that she doesn't see you as a successful person anymore, because you failed in college.

I see it more like " hey I'm sorry but I'm don't think we can be together more anymore, I have other plans. Oops my plans didn't work so well, I think we can be together after all." I wouldn't want to get back with you if that happened. Honestly I don't think it's worth trying, better off finding someone else.

What happened, Corny.

Why do you think you failed? It's certainly not because of your intelligence. Did you go away to college? Maybe that's why. Maybe you should try again while living at home.

By the way, it's not over if you failed.

My nephew failed college. Then, a few months later, he went back to community college, and then to a four-year college, where he graduated only one year "too late."

^ This.

Well, here's the thing..... That friend "badge" she put on there, says "I'm slowly giving up"----it doesn't say "Friends I've given up", so maybe there's a chance with her, yet.

I don't know that I'd reject you because you dumped me, thinking we'd never be able to be together cuz you went away to college. Who knows----give it a shot----she might understand; and, I think you'll forever kick yourself if you don't try.

I sense that maybe you should have stayed with her.

Maybe tell her that. Admit your error.

Especially if you really like her and not using her because there’s “no one else.”

And....definitely try college again!

Err that doesn't mean it's a good idea (or even healthy) to be friends with an ex you still have feelings for...

Clearly being friends with his ex is not working out for the OP. He sent her red Xs and Os and she had to reiterate that she's just a friend.

Unfortunately nothing can really be done. She's made it clear that she doesn't want to be with Corny. He will have to move on and get over the denial he has about what she wants.

I wasn't suggesting that to begin with. I merely gave an opinion on the value of non-romantic relationships with the opposite sex in response to modernmax.

Hello, Corny, I am sorry to hear about your situation, and I do not know the full story or dynamic of your relationship; however, from the information that I have gathered I believe it would be better for both parties if you two gently parted ways. It is hard to let go of someone, but it is harder to let someone back into your life who has hurt you. You've made your bed and now you must lie in it.

I'm sorry I forgot to say this. But another reason maybe why we aren't together is because she is really busy with high school and work. She works as an waitress at a Tex-Mex restaurant. She's very busy.

I don't see why you can't remain friends with her----unless you start wanting to press her to become your girlfriend again. I do know of friendships which lead to romance. But you have to respect her space.

If you have feelings---then it's okay. It's not okay to try to be forceful with them, though.

Please note that I am not saying that you are being forceful with her---or that you are so inclined.