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modernmax
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07 Apr 2018, 2:47 am

The last girl who friendzoned me legitimately friendzoned me. Actually did want to be friends, but I'm not interested in that so I basically told her to leave me alone. This was about a month ago and she hasn't talked to me so I think she got the message. Don't have time to waste on being friends, and you shouldn't waste yours either.


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whatamievendoing
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07 Apr 2018, 9:45 am

modernmax wrote:
Don't have time to waste on being friends, and you shouldn't waste yours either.


I respectfully disagree. A relationship with someone of the opposite sex doesn't have to be romantic for it to be worth maintaining - even a platonic relationship has something to give. Said something being experience in communicating with the opposite sex, if in a bit of a different context, but it's transferable to romantic relationships later on.

Granted, you'll get to know the person less intimately as opposed to if you were in a romantic relationship with her, but with enough luck, the two of you will become close friends to the point of knowing every inch of each other. A male and female being best friends isn't a concept completely unheard of. In some ways, I'd even argue it's a much more beneficial situation than a romantic relationship.


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Corny
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07 Apr 2018, 9:59 am

:idea:

whatamievendoing wrote:
modernmax wrote:
Don't have time to waste on being friends, and you shouldn't waste yours either.


I respectfully disagree. A relationship with someone of the opposite sex doesn't have to be romantic for it to be worth maintaining - even a platonic relationship has something to give. Said something being experience in communicating with the opposite sex, if in a bit of a different context, but it's transferable to romantic relationships later on.

Granted, you'll get to know the person less intimately as opposed to if you were in a romantic relationship with her, but with enough luck, the two of you will become close friends to the point of knowing every inch of each other. A male and female being best friends isn't a concept completely unheard of. In some ways, I'd even argue it's a much more beneficial situation than a romantic relationship.

I know that male and females can be friends. I had several in high school that were friends with me. But me or them didn’t have anything romantic going on. Well because I had my ex.



XFilesGeek
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07 Apr 2018, 12:49 pm

If you dumped her because the relationship was no longer "convenient" for you, then you've already demonstrated that you're more than willing to place other things in your life above her.

If I was her, I wouldn't want to get back with you either.


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Corny
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07 Apr 2018, 12:52 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
If you dumped her because the relationship was no longer "convenient" for you, then you've already demonstrated that you're more than willing to place other things in your life above her.

If I was her, I wouldn't want to get back with you either.

Well I thought I would probably never see her again. I only saw her during school. And I graduated and she was 2 grades below me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Apr 2018, 1:56 pm

It's also possible that she doesn't see you as a successful person anymore, because you failed in college.



modernmax
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07 Apr 2018, 2:41 pm

I see it more like " hey I'm sorry but I'm don't think we can be together more anymore, I have other plans. Oops my plans didn't work so well, I think we can be together after all." I wouldn't want to get back with you if that happened. Honestly I don't think it's worth trying, better off finding someone else.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2018, 3:35 pm

What happened, Corny.

Why do you think you failed? It's certainly not because of your intelligence. Did you go away to college? Maybe that's why. Maybe you should try again while living at home.

By the way, it's not over if you failed.

My nephew failed college. Then, a few months later, he went back to community college, and then to a four-year college, where he graduated only one year "too late."



XFilesGeek
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07 Apr 2018, 5:17 pm

modernmax wrote:
I see it more like " hey I'm sorry but I'm don't think we can be together more anymore, I have other plans. Oops my plans didn't work so well, I think we can be together after all." I wouldn't want to get back with you if that happened. Honestly I don't think it's worth trying, better off finding someone else.


^ This.


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07 Apr 2018, 5:56 pm

Well, here's the thing..... That friend "badge" she put on there, says "I'm slowly giving up"----it doesn't say "Friends I've given up", so maybe there's a chance with her, yet.

I don't know that I'd reject you because you dumped me, thinking we'd never be able to be together cuz you went away to college. Who knows----give it a shot----she might understand; and, I think you'll forever kick yourself if you don't try.







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kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2018, 8:55 pm

I sense that maybe you should have stayed with her.

Maybe tell her that. Admit your error.

Especially if you really like her and not using her because there’s “no one else.”

And....definitely try college again!



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08 Apr 2018, 8:23 am

whatamievendoing wrote:
modernmax wrote:
Don't have time to waste on being friends, and you shouldn't waste yours either.


I respectfully disagree. A relationship with someone of the opposite sex doesn't have to be romantic for it to be worth maintaining - even a platonic relationship has something to give. Said something being experience in communicating with the opposite sex, if in a bit of a different context, but it's transferable to romantic relationships later on.

Granted, you'll get to know the person less intimately as opposed to if you were in a romantic relationship with her, but with enough luck, the two of you will become close friends to the point of knowing every inch of each other. A male and female being best friends isn't a concept completely unheard of. In some ways, I'd even argue it's a much more beneficial situation than a romantic relationship.


Err that doesn't mean it's a good idea (or even healthy) to be friends with an ex you still have feelings for... :roll:

Clearly being friends with his ex is not working out for the OP. He sent her red Xs and Os and she had to reiterate that she's just a friend.

Unfortunately nothing can really be done. She's made it clear that she doesn't want to be with Corny. He will have to move on and get over the denial he has about what she wants.


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whatamievendoing
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08 Apr 2018, 11:32 am

alex wrote:
whatamievendoing wrote:
modernmax wrote:
Don't have time to waste on being friends, and you shouldn't waste yours either.


I respectfully disagree. A relationship with someone of the opposite sex doesn't have to be romantic for it to be worth maintaining - even a platonic relationship has something to give. Said something being experience in communicating with the opposite sex, if in a bit of a different context, but it's transferable to romantic relationships later on.

Granted, you'll get to know the person less intimately as opposed to if you were in a romantic relationship with her, but with enough luck, the two of you will become close friends to the point of knowing every inch of each other. A male and female being best friends isn't a concept completely unheard of. In some ways, I'd even argue it's a much more beneficial situation than a romantic relationship.


Err that doesn't mean it's a good idea (or even healthy) to be friends with an ex you still have feelings for... :roll:


I wasn't suggesting that to begin with. I merely gave an opinion on the value of non-romantic relationships with the opposite sex in response to modernmax.


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EmilyBug1
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08 Apr 2018, 11:47 am

Corny wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
You broke up with her to go to college i.e you didn't consider the relationship worth maintaining.
Now you want her to get back into a relationship with you.
That doesn't seem like much of a deal to me.
Whats to say you're going to stick around this time.


Yeah, put yourself in her shoes. You put the relationship second to your ambitions, so it seems pretty fair that she'd not want to be with you anymore.

I say just move on and find somebody else. You kind of burnt this bridge yourself.

But I can’t stop thinking about her. Haven’t been able to stop since when we broke up. I sometimes imagine us together married. Man that would be awesome. Well anyways I’m going to sleep goodnight.



Hello, Corny, I am sorry to hear about your situation, and I do not know the full story or dynamic of your relationship; however, from the information that I have gathered I believe it would be better for both parties if you two gently parted ways. It is hard to let go of someone, but it is harder to let someone back into your life who has hurt you. You've made your bed and now you must lie in it.



Corny
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09 Apr 2018, 11:31 am

I'm sorry I forgot to say this. But another reason maybe why we aren't together is because she is really busy with high school and work. She works as an waitress at a Tex-Mex restaurant. She's very busy.