Am I Transgender or a Tomboy?

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I'm sorry if this is a silly question but I really have no one else to ask.

Growing up I liked Barbie, My Little Pony and Disney princesses as well as Dragon Ball Z, fishing, ice hockey and video games (both girly games and games like Tekken and Heroes of Might and Magic).

As an adult I wear a mix of men's and women's clothes, I love makeup and sparkly jewelry yet I still love mythology, ghost hunting TV shows, Converse low tops (I wear men's ones because they fit my feet better) and love wearing flannels and band tees but I also love dresses UGG boots and unicorns.

I've always felt like the gender that I already am, female no matter I had a Pokemon birthday cake or a Barbie birthday cake. I would like to think that I'm half tomboy and half girly girl.

I know this is a stupid question but I was called a man before and it really got me worked up about this.

I am the same. Autistic people tend to be less susceptible to social conditioning than NTs, which means while the other girls repressed their desire for those things deemed "for boys", you did not. What you are is an authentic person.

Being transgender doesn't just mean not fitting gender roles, it means being uncomfortable with your body or with being seen as your assigned gender. It's perfectly normal and okay to like a mix of feminine and masculine things.

If you identify yourself as female and are comfortable with the body you were born in, then you aren't really transgender. Ever since I was a kid I've liked things targeted towards boys as well as girls, but because my parents were okay with that.

It's the 21st century, and yet people still think they should only like what's targeted at their gender or there's something "wrong" with them. Although things *are* slowly improving.

You sound like me lool it's possible to love all those things and not be a man.

I like having muscles instead of fat and prefer being toned to traditionally curvy. I'm 5"9/"10 and refuse to shrink or act girly to make people feel more comfortable. I've been called a man so many times I wouldn't be surprised if I have a comolex.

Personally I think a 3rd sex exists, where people's interests or their biology moves them further from the 2 traditional sexes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

But no, I don't think you're transgender or even a Tomboy. Just your own unique self.

I was like that too as a kid. I loved playing princess and wearing dresses, but I was also the weird girl who hang out with the boys and watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

These days I prefer to wear skirts and prefer looking what I consider pretty, but I still watch TV shows and read stuff that's meant for guys more than stuff that's meant for women. I don't see why that'd be a problem; I am who I am and am completely comfortable with being a woman.

Are you from the US? It seems things are more gendered there than in Europe.
Switching from Barbie to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and back to Barbie was considered perfectly normal for a girl in my childhood. I raise my daughters with dolls, cars, swords, Lego and whatever they want to play with. They love to manicure and they love to play cops and villains. Why restrict?

Maybe your autism made you more resistant to social pressure. As long as you feel yourself in your female body, I wouldn't call you trans-gender. Just yourself.

From that there, I can tell you that you are definitely not trans. Being transgender has nothing to do with what your interests or personality are in comparison to those stereotypical of your gender. It's when the gender you identify with does not align with your biological sex, e.g. a transgender man would identify as male despite being assigned female at birth.

Every woman is into different things; I'm not exactly the most stereotypically feminine of girls but I'm still female and couldn't be any more certain of that. As long as you view yourself as a woman, you are a woman.

You are female with some tomboy tendencies. So am I. This is actually fairly common, and it's nothing to worry about.

It seems to be common for autistics to have a little gender ambiguity.

Personally, I get mistaken for a man very often, it's because I like to wear my hair short and often dress in men's clothes, and my body shape is not particularly feminine.

I do feel sorry sometimes about people getting embarrassed when they realise they got my gender wrong, but basically I'm over caring what they think, I just like to dress the way I like.

It's something to do with the way I see myself, internally, but is not transgender - I don't get that degree of dysphoria, I don't have an issue with my biological sex. I guess I'm either a tomboy or a cross-dresser. So maybe you are a bit like this, too?

You know what, though, I'd love to see a world in which transgender folks didn't feel the need to make surgical/hormonal changes to their body to be accepted in the way they want. Wouldn't it be great if we could be treated as whichever gender we wish to present ourselves as, in that moment, without all the hang-ups about appropriate dress/behaviour?

It often isn't only about being accepted, though. Many trans people experience physical discomfort with their bodies, and want to have the body parts of their true gender; their dysphoria can't be fixed by just presenting as their true gender.

Yes, that's a good point.
I can see how a strong gender dysphoria in the physical sense could be very hard to deal with.

This is going to sound horribly politically incorrect, but I still wish there was an alternative for these people rather than surgery and hormones. It's such a big deal to change physical gender, and you have to take hormones for the rest of your life, it's a bit like deliberately making yourself diabetic. I mean, I'm pro-individual choice in these things, but it seems like the gender dysphoria is making them desperately wish for something which they can't really have.

It's almost like the people out there with BID who want to amputate their own limbs. I think the general concensus is that they're better off keeping their limbs and getting psychological treatment.

Oh dear, I knew that would sound terrible.
Honestly, I am supportive of transgender folks, I just wish there was an easier path for them.

Sorry for going a bit off topic, there.

You seem like a “feminine” woman to me. Not even a “tomboy.”

Many “feminine” women have “masculine” interests. I’ve known many like that.

Most interests, to me, are more “people” than “masculine” or “feminine.”

If you feel comfortable with your body and your gender, you are a tomboy.

People who are transgender feel weird with their body and feel "this isn't right" about their gender and find their gender parts weird and feel it's not right. There is no male or female feeling.

^this. If you've never had dysphoria about being (recognised as) female or the body you were born with, then you're probably not transgender. Contrary to popular belief, being trans isn't about gender norms/stereotypes: it's primarily about body dysphoria. Most trans people have dysphoria surrounding genitals, breasts (or lack of thereof), voice pitch, facial hair (or lack of thereof), etc.

Being trans isn't about gender stereotypes or sexual orientation as there are plenty of masculine trans women (male-to-female) and effeminate trans men (female-to-male), and one study showed 66% of trans people to identify as gay or bisexual after transitioning. A large minority of trans people ID as non-binary (neither fully man nor woman) post-transition.

Judging by what you've said, it's more likely that you're a tomboy than trans and that's totally OK! The main thing is being happy in yourself and your own life.

If you're worried about it and would like more information, why not get in touch with your local LGBT society? Or if there isn't one where you live, there are plenty of LGBT forums online.

There's also brilliant books out there that could explain this much better than me. I would recommend Julia Serano's 'Whipping Girl' as a first port of call (as an alternative to the book, she also has a website with a ton of helpful information: http://www.juliaserano.com/writings.html )

Edit: an even better website than Julia's is Gender Analysis (which is more of a Trans 101, explaining things like how dysphoria feels, how hormone therapy works, etc): https://genderanalysis.net

I hope this helps

My answer to your question would be : does it matter ? Do / wear / behave the way you feel comfortable with.