Special interest, sexuality and gender (weird post)

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Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 8 Jan 2013
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 29

14 Apr 2018, 6:56 am

I am a 26 year old trans woman, who recently found herself no longer attracted to women, not only was this a facet of my sexuality, but women in general were an obsession of mine. I loved everything about them, their looks, the feel of their bodies, their personalities, literally everything, and I had very strong sexual and romantic fantasies about them, something I had done since I was about 10. Losing desire for them has sent me into the worst depression of my life, literally nothing feels good now. I cannot sleep, have a hard time mustering a smile, and am a depressed mess. One of the things I enjoyed most, which sadly, isn't much, is no longer pleasurable, and it's tearing me apart. Not only did this affect me in the present, but realizing I am trans, and this sexuality change has affected the beautiful future I had planned for myself. I wanted to one day marry a woman, have children with her, and just live a normal life. What hurts even more about this is that I was actually getting more confident and less socially awkward before this happened. All the progress I was so proud of is gone, and left with nothing but despair and pain inducing depression.

Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 20 Aug 2016
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 228
Location: Virginia, USA

14 Apr 2018, 6:16 pm

Sting, I understand where you are coming from. I have always described my presenting in feminine mode as liking women so much and everything about them that I even become one whenever I can. Nevertheless, even tho I have been expressing my feminine side for over 20 years now, I have retained a sexual interest in women. So I can imagine what you must be going thru.

So which happened first, the depression or the loss if interest in women sexually? I can logically see how either one could bring on the other.

Can you identify any event or turning point in your life recently that might have brought this on? Perhaps some disappointment you experienced or perhaps something that happened to someone close to you.

Also, I want to ask, at this point, has any interest in men come about or has this development left you with no sexual interest at all? Essentially, an asexual/aromantic person?

Just kind of thinking out loud here and possibly helping you to gain a bit of perspective on your situation. If you can locate a therapist who counsels trans people I would strongly recommend you seek their help. Include online therapists in your search since not very many LGBTQ psychs exist irl.

Please respond and keep us updated as you go along.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 120 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 74 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

AQ = 38 MBTI = ISTJ Gender = Androgynous
I strive not to perseverate. You can PM me for more info.