Which movies to improve my social skills?

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Awkward
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18 Apr 2018, 3:35 pm

Hi, i have mild autism (aspergers syndrome) and social anxiety. So i think i have very less social/communication skills. And I heard that some movies/series can help me improve and learn social skills, is it true? and which series or movies do you think are helpful for this?



Nira
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18 Apr 2018, 3:51 pm

I don't believe that you can improve social skills from watching movies and series.


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Dear_one
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19 Apr 2018, 11:17 am

You might try watching shows that people talk about, so you can follow the conversation and perhaps contribute. If you quote lines from a show appropriately in reference to daily life, other fans will consider you basically qualified to be part of their group.



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19 Apr 2018, 11:20 am

You might try watching the shows that you hear people discussing, so that you can join the conversation.



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19 Apr 2018, 11:35 am

Awkward wrote:
Hi, i have mild autism (aspergers syndrome) and social anxiety. So i think i have very less social/communication skills. And I heard that some movies/series can help me improve and learn social skills, is it true? and which series or movies do you think are helpful for this?

I do not think this is true


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elbowgrease
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19 Apr 2018, 1:37 pm

Generally, dialogue driven. With good enough acting to portray whatever it is that's going on. Different genres may present different situations. I used to look up movies on Wikipedia to read about them around the time I watched them, which seemed to give a different depth to it.
I do think they can help to learn social cues, facial clues and body language in a comfortable environment.
I don't think it can do the whole job when it comes to social skills, you may learn how to recognize things and get a better idea of what's going on but actually doing it is not the same thing.
Sometimes being around a group conversation feels like watching a movie, except I'm expected to participate "correctly".
From my own experience doing something similar, I did have moments while watching movies when things seemed to click all of a sudden.



Dear_one
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19 Apr 2018, 1:44 pm

Good points ^^. I'd choose "Driving Miss Daisy" over anything with guns. There might be something in "Star Trek" now - I've heard it described as "committee meetings in space." "Rain Man" was interesting, but I'd have needed a month between those adventures, not just a night.



Nira
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19 Apr 2018, 3:08 pm

Dear_one wrote:
Good points ^^. I'd choose "Driving Miss Daisy" over anything with guns. There might be something in "Star Trek" now - I've heard it described as "committee meetings in space." "Rain Man" was interesting, but I'd have needed a month between those adventures, not just a night.

I saw all these movies and still nothing. :)

I don't think that behavior people in movie or series responds behavior people in reality.


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19 Apr 2018, 9:24 pm

I *strongly* believe you can use movies and TV series to improve social skills! You can use these shows to mimic behaviors and also to build a script of lines you can apply to social situations similar to the ones that come up in the movie/tv series you watch. Heck, I'll even give you a list:

Psych (this is a laid back comedy but the two lead actors are extremely good with using facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. They also make fun of social expectations by mocking them, but in doing so they actually can teach you about the correct ways you can handle certain social situations).

Big (ok, I know, second comedy, but Tom Hanks has an ability to exaggerate facial expressions and mannerisms that make it easy to ready his emotions. While most neurotypicals won't make it this "easy", you'll get a lot of fundamentals of social cues from this movie).

L.A. Confidential (there's a lot of social nuance in this movie that you might have to watch a few times to figure out. But it'll help. There's also some great lines to "cop" for your own. Also, one of the main characters, Sgt. Edward Exley isn't SUPPOSED to be an autistic character, but he's the BEST autistic character I've ever seen. He's nerdy, takes rules literally, has a high sense of justice, but he can also be a bad ass. God, I wish they'd make autistic characters with more depth like that).

Law and Order: SVU (the actors are exceptionally good at conveying emotion. And since the series is about handling sexual issues, there's a ton of emotion throughout each episode. It's a huge opportunity to read expressions based on the type of emotion that person has).

Breaking Bad (this series is awesome because the characters are trying to deceive each other, so you get to see what lies and deceit look like. The best season was season 3. I won't ruin it for you, but there's some really slick characters in there.)

The Truman Show (this movie is perfect because it's about actors trying to act like their not acting. You'll have to watch the movie to understand. It gives you a good look at emotions and is well acted).

That should get you started. Seriously, I watch movies multiple times when I enjoy them, and I'll adapt lines from them all of the time. It also helped me pick up on social cues and understand emotions under certain circumstances. You just have to be able to tell what is portrayed as real vs. what is bull crap. Because, Hollywood is full of bull crap.



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19 Apr 2018, 9:33 pm

OMG, how could I forget.....The Conjuring....you get the learn plenty of facial expressions and social cues.....OF DEMONS! I mean, how cool is THAT!



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19 Apr 2018, 10:38 pm

Awkward wrote:
Hi, i have mild autism (aspergers syndrome) and social anxiety. So i think i have very less social/communication skills. And I heard that some movies/series can help me improve and learn social skills, is it true? and which series or movies do you think are helpful for this?


I think writing fiction is a better exercise in developing social skills. If you are writing about normal interpersonal interactions, you will have to think about how normal people react and what social expectations they have of the other person.

For example, when meeting someone for the first time in the U.S., if you were to look down at the ground and muble hello, that defies social expectations and would cause you to appear shy or awkward, because you are generally expected to look people in the eye, shake their hand and say a friendly, reasonably audible hello.



Dear_one
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20 Apr 2018, 12:03 am

^^ I can't write for other characters at all. I have a book by an Aspie with a few short stories included for discussion, and they are the most wooden things I've ever read. The characters move like wooden soldiers, with no motivation or personality at all.



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20 Apr 2018, 3:50 am

I can write characters pretty well. Granted, I'm really taking experiences over the years and designing characters from them. Actually, that's pretty much what all writers do.



Chronos
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20 Apr 2018, 4:08 am

Dear_one wrote:
^^ I can't write for other characters at all. I have a book by an Aspie with a few short stories included for discussion, and they are the most wooden things I've ever read. The characters move like wooden soldiers, with no motivation or personality at all.


I'm not implying that the OP will become a celebrated author. It's merely an exercise to help develop theory of mind.



Dear_one
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20 Apr 2018, 6:11 am

Chronos wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
^^ I can't write for other characters at all. I have a book by an Aspie with a few short stories included for discussion, and they are the most wooden things I've ever read. The characters move like wooden soldiers, with no motivation or personality at all.


I'm not implying that the OP will become a celebrated author. It's merely an exercise to help develop theory of mind.


I was not trying to link writing with publishing; I was just saying that I can spend days trying to come up with a line that sounds authentic for the second (not me) character, and then do badly. I'm surprised it can work for you; you seem to have a rare exception. Can you imagine living in different personalities, as many authors seem to, who say their characters seem to have their own existence?



Chronos
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20 Apr 2018, 4:40 pm

Dear_one wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
^^ I can't write for other characters at all. I have a book by an Aspie with a few short stories included for discussion, and they are the most wooden things I've ever read. The characters move like wooden soldiers, with no motivation or personality at all.


I'm not implying that the OP will become a celebrated author. It's merely an exercise to help develop theory of mind.


I was not trying to link writing with publishing; I was just saying that I can spend days trying to come up with a line that sounds authentic for the second (not me) character, and then do badly. I'm surprised it can work for you; you seem to have a rare exception. Can you imagine living in different personalities, as many authors seem to, who say their characters seem to have their own existence?


I had to do a lot of observation of the interactions of others and then emulate those patterns and think about why people react in ways they do. People are not completely predictable but they aren't entirely random either. They have patterns and synchronicity that are necessary for human survival and for human society to function and an underlying psychology that facilitates this.

All species do.