I feel guilty about myself

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Before I started college again last year, I was unemployed and tried to break out of it by attending a summer course on-campus at another college. Beforehand, I was scheduled for an internship in april, but the company I was supposed to work with was going through a lawsuit. Before that, I was laid off by my family's business back in March, so I was completely lost after finding out the internship I was scheduled for had already been cancelled. While I did apply to jobs and agencies, I was completely lost. I know I was an adult, but with my family being torn apart by one another and having to move out due to mortgage issues, trying to sell the house overall, and trying to convince people to buy it, while also having a yard sale, was really detrimental to all of us when things came crashing down. Even going so far for my dad to say to my mom that she "f*cking nuked everything" after she took off from work, when she really just quit and got fired afterwards, with my dad being laid off.

When I entered college, I knew it was a very difficult adjustment. I tried my best to get involved but my only success came from finances and being "mentored (if I am)" by older adults, while also having a mental breakdown because I was so scared of hearing my roommates that smoked weed having sex and being treated like crap for so long. I moved to another dorm but was also given an eviction notice because I was behind paying my tuition. although everything came to plan, I can't stop thinking about the debt I put myself in. 4K isn't bad for a start, but isn't good either. and it helps that I'm attending a community college because it helps cut down on finances, but going off to that start is not a pretty sight. I know that I plan on working over the summer break and down paying some of it, while also being very frugal with what I have. So no eating out or movie flicks for this guy. It helps also that I also don't do the same crap students do with drugs and alcohol and sex and such.

Overall, I feel bad about myself for things for the way they are, but I could imagine them being far, far worse.

The problem is though that New York's 4 year colleges aren't looking so great. Binghamton and Stony Brook, while they sound good, are breaking down tremendously and I hear that Stony Brook is in really bad shape according to students review. Leaving me with a couple of options after I graduate from community college. I can spend a couple of years doing the americorps or joining the coast guard. I'm not a military person due to my shy and quiet nature and I fear that I may slip out of line if I don't do the right thing superiors exactly want me to. I'm not saying that I won't do the right thing, because I want to do the right thing, sure. But I'm afraid that I might not be perfect. Just as how I am now with school at the moment. and while there are some opportunities to bring my grades up now, especially now since housing is strict on registration and such, we'll be looking at a 3.5 or 3.6 by the end of this semester, if I manage to do well.

anybody gonna comment?

also, it's not like I spent the couple of months unemployed doing nothing. I did some exercise that helped me lose weight.

I also feel guilty about myself because I'm not good at university and I actually dropped off twice, now I'm almost graduating in a small non-important university with a very bland perfomance – I have great grades but I didn't any extra project or anything. On the other two courses I started, they were in the two best universities in my country and I got engage in a lot of extra activities. Coming here, I just couldn't stand anything anymore.

At least, we have free universities in my country so I don't have any debt. But I feel ashamed for trashing some good opportunities and also that my parents spend all this years supporting me to study, as it's difficult to keep a full time job and study.

I don't have anything useful to say. Sorry.

I was sorry to read about your problems. I also agree that things could have been much, much worse.

Could you live at home and attend a local community college? It sounds as though dorm life doesn't agree with you, so why make things more difficult for yourself? Although most community colleges only offer 1-2 year Associate's degrees, some offer 4 year programs and a Bachelor's.

Living at home while attending community college would hopefully help reduce your stress enough so that you could keep your grades up. If your local college only offered an Associate's and you wanted a Bachelor's, you could always transfer to a university at the end of two years. You could also pursue a degree through a reputable on-line school like Grand Canyon University. I'd stay way from places like the University of Phoenix on-line and Kaplan University, both of which are overpriced and over valued for the quality of education they offer.

I'm not sure why Americorps or joining the Coast Guard are part of your post-graduate plans. It would help if you mentioned what your graduate major is.

Long before I learned I was autistic, I chose education as a profession because it largely dovetailed into my interests. I had originally wanted to be an archeologist specializing in the Ancient Near East but it was also around this time that an Iranian mob overran the U.S. Embassy in Iran. A U.S. reporter was also kidnapped off the streets of Beirut, so instead of archeology, I went into education with a history major.

Americorps runs a variety of programs. As a teacher, I've seen Americorps student mentors and tutors on campus. Some of these people have gone on to work as teachers.

In addition to helping protect our borders, the U.S. Coast Guard ensures safe and lawful commerce and also performs rescue missions.

Regarding debt, according to the APLU, Association of Public Land-Grant Universities, the average debt at graduation for a 4 year degree is $25,500— or $6,375 for each year at a public university.

Sorry for the late reply. The reason why I live on-campus is not because I want to make things more difficult for myself, but because most of the community colleges upstate have dorms. Plus, Herkimer was ranked 60, so I wanted to get the best education for myself.

I can't live at home either due to my parents fighting and not being able to get along. In fact, while I was gone for the semester, my mother mentioned how much my dad has changed and hasn't really been the same ever since I left after the affair. Now, they plan on getting a divorce and given how I haven't been able to register for my college algebra and pre-calc courses due to a lack of funds, I won't be able to go into engineering so now while I'm considering engineering for when I transfer to a 4-year, I can't do so at this moment and I can't take a year off either and take the two courses because that's when my family and I start paying loans. and we're already living on the edge right now because my parents work almost half-a-day just so we could have a roof under our heads.

Online universities sound tempting, but I'd be missing out on the actual college experience and networking is one such example that is crucial to help be successful later on in life.

americorps and or coast guards were plans for me to keep myself busy after college or as a last resort, with the exception of the former. and I'm sorry for not being able to mention my major but I planned to major in engineering, specifically electrical with aerospace electives or whatever. Unfortunately, as I've mentioned before, I can't major in it because my math skill is not high enough and the dean of affairs won't allow the override and suggested that I go through the natural course order because as tempting as it sounds, according to my algebra professor, I can't afford to skip it because I'll be missing out on a lot.

My top 5 or 6 majors (in no particular order) so far were to be:

1. Electrical Engineering
2. applied Mathematics and Computer Science
3. applied Mathematics and Economics
4. Economics
5. Electrical Engineering and applied Math/Economics

It seems that at this point that I may have to major in Business administration (though there are two types (as and aas), so I don't know the difference) in order to be able to transfer. But then again, I still plan on majoring in engineering so I have to ask myself if it's worth taking economics just so I could be able to take engineering after I finish at my CC.

Decisions, decisions

Those colleges you mentioned aren’t as bad as those students stated. SUNY is a very good system. Not perfect, of course...but at least decent.

Sounds like those students had an axe to grind.

What’s making you not able to major in engineering.

Well, because my math grade isn't high enough at this point and I can't consider taking a year off to afford the courses. It's not that I won't be able to or don't want to major in engineering anymore, but it's that I can't do so or I'm not able to right now because there aren't any options to consider. I've already spoken to my professors and the dean of affairs about the override and they still suggested that I go through the traditional route.

When I took the placement test, it placed me in Contemporary math, so I had to go through the order of Intermediate algebra->college algebra and trig>Pre-calculus in order to transfer into engineering of next year. But with the lack of funds and the divorce, I feel completely lost now more than ever because the moment I want things done right, they go wrong in an instant so my only option now for me is to find a major that would suit me for the next 1 or 2 years full-time and on-campus housing, while also giving me the time for those summers to allow me to take said courses and retake contemporary math and intermediate algebra to boost my grade up.

Once I transfer to a 4-year, I'd at least be able to major into engineering.

after some planning with my advisor, I figured that sticking with general studies would be best so that I can take the two math courses. However, when I tried to register for college algebra, it said that there was a prerequisite and test score error and even though I got a C- (71), which counts as a passing grade and already got credits for it and didn't affect my placement on the dean's list, I'm a little confused and depressed because I'm afraid I won't register into my course.