Inviting me over but not saying where?

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georgewilson
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10 May 2018, 12:57 am

I know I'll probably get some discouraging answers, but feel it's complicated enough to be worth sharing.

So a girl I met who lives half an hour away recently seemed OK with the idea of my going to see her for lunch at a restaurant in her town on May 12, the first time IRL after a month or more of texting. A week before the scheduled date, she mentions that it's graduation weekend there and the crowds are awful, and clarifies on my discussing the next weekend that she's going back to her hometown to see her parents for her birthday (checks out as the following Wednesday on Facebook). Feeling a bit miffed to hear it, I see her then texting me to say I could always come over to where she lives on May 12 to "watch movies." (NOT "Netflix and chill," BTW, she did not word it that way). I say sure, I might, and ask how to get there, and she acts surprised that I don't know my way around a town I've barely driven in and doesn't give me any further details.

She does reply to texts regularly, usually will initiate further ones in the next few days and almost every single weekend will contact me. I don't sense a "pulling away" in that respect, but don't know what to make of this latest curveball. What's the point of inviting me over just to not tell me where? Is this a way of showing interest or just manipulation? I'd rather see her first at a neutral place anyway, but want to follow interest in a way that doesn't look desperate, and am not always sure where the balance lies.



goldfish21
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10 May 2018, 3:13 am

Did she give you an address? Or did she tell you a landmark she lives at/beside?

You said you asked her How to get there.. which would indicate that she told you where.. and google maps will tell you How to get there.

Or did she just tell you the name of the town and you're somehow supposed to know which house she lives in? :?


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kraftiekortie
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10 May 2018, 6:05 am

It would be the moral thing to do: give precise directions.

What does she want you to do: go on a scavenger hunt before you two meet?

Perhaps you can suggest meeting at a neutral spot in the town. In a specific restaurant or coffee place.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 10 May 2018, 7:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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10 May 2018, 6:30 am

georgewilson, I invite you over to a lunch in my place in the Middle East to have a man to man talk.

Come bro, I am waiting for you.



CockneyRebel
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11 May 2018, 11:00 pm

That seems very strange to me.


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georgewilson
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11 May 2018, 11:15 pm

BTW, kraftie I did suggest the neutral place. She's the one who brought up "coming to her place" as the alternative. She pulled it again this afternoon, which I can't do since my tires have to be replaced most likely. Once again, I ask her and she's cagey, ask her again and she stops texting back.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 May 2018, 5:01 am

Women do that when they are not interested.

Yes I am generalizing; and this is a very true generalization.



kraftiekortie
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12 May 2018, 6:59 am

She would have to give a precise address. No other way around it.



BeaArthur
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13 May 2018, 10:02 am

There are multiple possibilities as to why she might do this. One might be, she has a lot going on at the moment and forgot to contact you. But another might be she isn't who she says she is at all, and just fooling around with strangers on the Internet.

Best course of action is to back off and let her come to you, then directly ask why she didn't tell you where to find her. If she never comes back to texting, then that tells you all you need to know. "Dude, she's not that into you."


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The_Face_of_Boo
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13 May 2018, 11:13 am

Not a long ago a girl sent me a precise location of the cafe where she was supposedly to be waiting; she literally texted me her geolocation on google maps AND we agreed to meet . So I went there since it wasn't far from my place, and when I found her there she was like "Omg!! I didn't expect you to really come, i was kidding and teasing you"; and then she was like sorry for not being so clear. We talked only for 5 minutes because her friends were waiting her; she texted me later but I lost interest in her.

-_____- Duh! Women....

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SilverStar
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13 May 2018, 8:37 pm

That seems like weird behavior to me as well. In most cases, if someone actually wants to meet with you, they will either suggest an exact location to meet, or will ask you for an exact location, and they won't keep changing the location, or cancel on you (unless there is a legit reason to do so).

I agree with others...back off, and let her come to you, if she is actually interested.