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Shahunshah
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16 May 2018, 8:52 pm

So today I was talking with one of my friends. I told her that New Zealand is estimated to have one of the highest rates of domestic abuse in the developed world. She then said that's due to the number of Polynesians. She then iterated that poverty was a leading cause for it.

I then said that, it often isn't the case and that there are often more ignored factors that have a bigger role in causing domestic abuse(Speaking as someone who never faced it) and I said that often "it exists in a cycle and that when it does you can forget a number of other factors." I felt like that quote was ignorant, I am not sure was it bad I said it.

I was specifically thinking about Harlow's study on monkeys at the time, during which it was found that trauma and abuse lead to it being carried on to the next generation. I guess when you couple that with how some humans respond to abuse by inflicting it on their children, it gave me a picture that abuse, by and large, biologically in a cycle.



kraftiekortie
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16 May 2018, 9:18 pm

Many factors lead to domestic abuse.

Even if it exists in a "cycle," one cannot just "forget" other factors.

There could be many different reasons why in an individual instance of domestic abuse.

What people should do, if somebody makes a misguided statement, is to educate the person making the statement, rather than just get all hot and bothered about it.



Shahunshah
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16 May 2018, 9:26 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Many factors lead to domestic abuse.

Even if it exists in a "cycle," one cannot just "forget" other factors.

There could be many different reasons why in an individual instance of domestic abuse.

What people should do, if somebody makes a misguided statement, is to educate the person making the statement, rather than just get all hot and bothered about it.

I know that is what I found upset with myself about.



kraftiekortie
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16 May 2018, 9:31 pm

Don't get upset. Just learn from your mistake.



Shahunshah
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16 May 2018, 9:47 pm

I felt bad about what I said almost instantly. Would you say that shows a high level of ignorance?



kraftiekortie
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16 May 2018, 9:48 pm

Not ignorance. Inflexibility.



b9
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17 May 2018, 1:27 am

i made a serious gaffe a few years ago when i owned a chip delivering company (fries, not crisps).

i had one major customer who was jewish, and another one which was staunchly muslim.
they both bought about $1000 of stock per day.

very profitable.
so the jews insisted on "kosher certified chips", and i had to get a bloody rabbi to confirm they were kosher and put his sticker and signature on each bag.

the muslims insisted on halaal, and so we had to find some f*****g mufti or cleric or something that could badge it as halaal.

so one day, i forgot what type the muslims and the jews wanted, and i got my driver to deliver the halaal to the jews, and the kosher to the muslims.

yeah a bit of a slip up there fore sure.



SocOfAutism
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22 May 2018, 9:02 am

I make gaffes all the time. I’m not sure I see the gaffe in your situation. An argument could be made either way.

One thing to consider-do you notice when people say “ignorant” things around you? If you just shake it off and let it go, maybe other people are doing the same for you.



kraftiekortie
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22 May 2018, 9:40 am

I believe I can forgive most of Soc of Autism's "gaffes."

She has a husband (and a big dog)-----but I still feel I can really dig her under the right circumstances.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 May 2018, 10:21 am

b9 wrote:
i made a serious gaffe a few years ago when i owned a chip delivering company (fries, not crisps).

i had one major customer who was jewish, and another one which was staunchly muslim.
they both bought about $1000 of stock per day.

very profitable.
so the jews insisted on "kosher certified chips", and i had to get a bloody rabbi to confirm they were kosher and put his sticker and signature on each bag.

the muslims insisted on halaal, and so we had to find some f*****g mufti or cleric or something that could badge it as halaal.

so one day, i forgot what type the muslims and the jews wanted, and i got my driver to deliver the halaal to the jews, and the kosher to the muslims.

yeah a bit of a slip up there fore sure.


:lol:

Most muslim clerics consider kosher same as halaal though but not the opposite, because kosher instructions are stricter than halaal.



SocOfAutism
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27 May 2018, 7:39 am

Lol Kraftie!



Kraichgauer
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27 May 2018, 1:18 pm

To gaffe is human.


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