Why do people keep telling me I need to start dating?

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I'm currently in my 20s and still haven't dated anyone. Mostly because I've never had reliable enough evidence that anyone was interested and I don't feel like asking out anyone who I don't think is interested. Which is fine. As long as I don't have to deal with friends blowing me off for their significant others, I'm basically content like this. The thing is, other people are saying that I need to start dating. And while I'm not opposed to the idea, I also keep hearing that usually the man needs to be the one who initiates that they're interested. I'm not going to ask anyone if they're interested if all I get is subtle hints that might be misleading anyways, and that's assuming I pick up on them(which I usually don't). The frustrating thing is that a lot of the time, when people say I need to start dating, the first thing they say is that I should start an account on some kind of dating account. If I haven't had this conversation with the person before, I'll tell them that dating sites (and the entire idea of meeting a person for the sole purpose of seeing if I want to date them) creeps me out. This is fine, if they don't know that I'm uncomfortable with dating sites, but sometimes people who know this still insist that I need to start using them. And they're the ones saying I should start dating.

Sorry about the rambling, but I guess my question is, why do people keep saying I need to start dating if most of the time, their first suggestion is something they know I'm not comfortable doing?

The only thing I can really say here is this: do not cave in. Dating sites involve more risk than the general public cares to admit. If you join a dating site, you're bound to get ghosted a lot of times - or worse yet, catfished. Spare yourself that pain.

If you don't want to date, don't date.

Very simple.

Dating sites tend to not work well for guys cuz there's usually aLOT more guys than women on them. Guys tend to have to initiate by sending out messages to as many women as possible hoping one will actually read it & bother responding which is rare. It is possible for guys to meet women on dating sites(some of us on the spectrum even manged to get dates on them) but it's usually a lot of work for the guys unless the guy is really good looking in his pic or really has his sh!t together with life & has a real good income & that stuff is listed in his profile.

Honestly I think its a good sign, it means people think you are datable.

Ask later.

First, you do not 'need' to start dating. Anyone who says otherwise simply does not know what they're talking about. No one 'needs' to date.

Second, YOU are the one who gets to decide whether or not to start dating. While others have the right discuss the subject with you, they do not have the privilege of dictating your romantic life unless you have granted them that privilege.

Finally, people used to do the same thing to me when I was single. My response was usually along the lines of "So ... are you interested in dating me, or do you have someone else in mind?" This usually stopped their meddlesome ways, and was most especially effective against married women. Of course, I had to deal with their jealous husbands, but getting them to stop their meddling was thoroughly worth getting those wives in trouble for "hitting on me" with their "thinly-veiled hints" of having an extra-marital affair.

It's people projecting. They see things from their perspective, and to them they cannot fathom how someone can be happy unless they have a significant other in their life, hence they feel compelled to urge you to find someone. Tell them you're not interested in searching for a partner, and you're fine with things as they are. If they push back, YOU push back and tell them to knock it off.

I usually do ask them if they know anyone who is interested. The response is usually that I need to learn to pick up on signs of people being interested (which are misleading as hell) and that I need to start using dating sites.



I'm not completely closed off to the idea of dating. I just draw the line at using dating sites and asking out people who haven't given me any reason to believe that they're interested.

Last edited by Ask_Later on 30 May 2018, 11:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

Wait a minute, to me they keep telling that I need to see hookers.

People told me I needed to get laid a lot but I had no way of doing that short of rape & I don't think people wanted me to do that. I wasn't that interested in having sex either but that's a besides the point. People gave me no advice of way to get laid but just told me to do it. If it was that easy for me, I wouldn't of been depressed & lonely in the 1st place cuz I could of easily found a romantic partner instead so I think people got the problem & effect confused & mixed up.

Not true that you had no way, you could always pay a professional. Anyway I am not interested of that outside of a relationship.

I wouldn't know where to find em. I'm not interested in sex outside of a serious romantic realtionship. I'm sort of demisexual

If they're not willing to teach you those "signs", set you up with a date, or even go out on a date with you, then they are not interested in helping you. They're interested only in criticizing you for your lack of social skills and popularity.

Been there.

I will say this, though. Dating, or courting, or finding a partner, is not going to get easier all by itself and probably will get harder as you age, at least if you have never done it.

It's one thing to be inexperienced at 24. It's quite another to be inexperienced at 40.

What are your plans for life? Will you be content to be single forever?

I for example regret that I didn't start trying to date much earlier in life.