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fluffysaurus
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05 Jun 2018, 3:21 pm

^No, I do all my venting, ranting, and meltdowning in private, which in one way is good, but it means that a) people think I'm fine and b) The time I spend on my own gets wasted.

I can see how venting could ruin friendships though. My dad (NT) does this quite a bit and while I often agree with his point it feels like he's arguing with me and I hate arguments.



Meistersinger
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05 Jun 2018, 3:35 pm

Mr.Robot wrote:
A few weeks ago, i saw in the register area of our local Kroger store what was an organization seeking donations. I was happy to see that finally there was awareness and people loved to donate money to this cause that i have felt so passionate about for years, when the puzzle pieces with the name of the donators that were stuck to the front window of the store caught my eye. On each of those pieces there was the official motto of the organization, which said 'let's fight autism together'. I felt outraged, wanted to file a written complaint, but i was paralyzed by my anger about an offensive motto like this.

This Autism Speaks-ish approach to making the public aware is poisonous and needs to stop. I mentally prepared a long monologue in which i asked the clerks whether they would like to fight me then, since i am on the spectrum as well, but i was not brave enough to say what was necessary to convey my emotions


What would you have done? Is this just an over-reaction, or is it indeed offensive?


There’s not a whole helluva lot you can do. You can write the store manager, then cc: the letter up the chain of command, but don’t be surprised if your letter ends up in the circular file next to their respective desks.

The only thing in your control is to never patronize this business in the future. The only thing anyone understands anymore is loss of money, only because nowadays the general public doesn’t give a flying f!ck about anything.



Mr.Robot
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05 Jun 2018, 4:30 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I can relate.

I also just wanted to tell you I love your avatar--Jared is my favourite thing about Silicon Valley.


:mrgreen:

Thank you!

I just had a whole appreciation post about you liking Jared and this avatar prepared, but then i deleted it, because i didn't want to be off-topic in my own post :wink:



@fluffysaurus I mostly do it in private as well, for i do not want anyone to see my emotional responses and uncover my weaknesses. The only exception is when i feel so offended that even my own rules don't apply anymore. Then it can happen anywhere


@Meistersinger I actually made up my mind about not going back there anyway. I will still send the mail though, since it is already drafted!

Thank you for all of your responses! I really appreciate all of them!


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BeaArthur
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05 Jun 2018, 6:07 pm

This usage comes about by trying to emulate the success of disease-based organizations. It makes sense to fight cancer, heart disease, or muscular dystrophy. Fight autism? Not so much. It can't be cured, it is not lethal, and it is not a disease.

I think blaming a store which allowed a poster to be placed is the wrong way to go. They were probably just trying to be civic-minded.

I do think the cringeing and boycott are misplaced. Personally, I would find other things to get angry over. But that's just me, and I don't blame anyone for having a different mindset.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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05 Jun 2018, 6:46 pm

Mr.Robot wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I can relate.

I also just wanted to tell you I love your avatar--Jared is my favourite thing about Silicon Valley.


:mrgreen:

Thank you!

I just had a whole appreciation post about you liking Jared and this avatar prepared, but then i deleted it, because i didn't want to be off-topic in my own post :wink:



@fluffysaurus I mostly do it in private as well, for i do not want anyone to see my emotional responses and uncover my weaknesses. The only exception is when i feel so offended that even my own rules don't apply anymore. Then it can happen anywhere


@Meistersinger I actually made up my mind about not going back there anyway. I will still send the mail though, since it is already drafted!

Thank you for all of your responses! I really appreciate all of them!


You could always make a new Jared Appreciation Thread. I would be happy to contribute to it if you do. :)



Tawaki
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05 Jun 2018, 7:32 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I think you should say something. Autism is not cancer, and fund raising and awareness campaigns should not represent autism as if it were a fatal disease to eradicate, like cancer. Autistic people are inseparable from our neurology, so to "fight autism" means to eradicate autistic people. Once the people who chose that slogan are made aware of this perhaps they will be willing to rethink their slogan and choose something less dehumanizing to autistic people.


Well...

The puzzle pieces are gross nonsense, and would have raised my blood pressure long before the slogan.

The fund raiser is not *for* you or *about* you. It's for all the people who have family members on the spectrum who will wind up in a sh***y group home, and hopefully will not be molested. Those are the ones "who are fighting" Autism.

It's not for the adults (because noone really gives a s**t about an adult with level I autism who can more or less pass), but for kids (doesn't matter where on the spectrum) and people with level II and III autism that will probably never live independently and that scares the s**t out of their families.

The schools used to do autism awareness week with a puzzle piece fund raiser where I live. Someone complained, and now it's morphed into disability awareness week (almost no mention of autism) and a fund raiser for Special Olympics. Sounds great, but the ASD fund raiser monies went directly for things like ear defenders and other things the kids with ASD could use at the school. $5K of money is a lot to lose.

Complain to Kroger's head office. The store mangers have no say in any of the store fund raisers. That is all corporate mandated.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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05 Jun 2018, 8:37 pm

Tawaki wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
I think you should say something. Autism is not cancer, and fund raising and awareness campaigns should not represent autism as if it were a fatal disease to eradicate, like cancer. Autistic people are inseparable from our neurology, so to "fight autism" means to eradicate autistic people. Once the people who chose that slogan are made aware of this perhaps they will be willing to rethink their slogan and choose something less dehumanizing to autistic people.


Well...

The puzzle pieces are gross nonsense, and would have raised my blood pressure long before the slogan.

The fund raiser is not *for* you or *about* you. It's for all the people who have family members on the spectrum who will wind up in a sh***y group home, and hopefully will not be molested. Those are the ones "who are fighting" Autism.

It's not for the adults (because noone really gives a s**t about an adult with level I autism who can more or less pass), but for kids (doesn't matter where on the spectrum) and people with level II and III autism that will probably never live independently and that scares the s**t out of their families.

The schools used to do autism awareness week with a puzzle piece fund raiser where I live. Someone complained, and now it's morphed into disability awareness week (almost no mention of autism) and a fund raiser for Special Olympics. Sounds great, but the ASD fund raiser monies went directly for things like ear defenders and other things the kids with ASD could use at the school. $5K of money is a lot to lose.

Complain to Kroger's head office. The store mangers have no say in any of the store fund raisers. That is all corporate mandated.


OK? Not sure why this was directed at me, but whatever.



green0star
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07 Jun 2018, 4:21 pm

Krogers is a piece of crap as far as I'm concerned but I guess Shop rite is no better since they actually donate to Autism Speaks in April of every year. It is cringe worthy though, but if you really wanna start a conversation I would say something along the lines of "So you wanna fight me?" or "I'm on the spectrum, how do you react to me?". You can be a bit humorous on it as well that way its not too serious and comes off too brass. Remember, all you're doing is starting a conversation.



Mr.Robot
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07 Jun 2018, 4:39 pm

green0star wrote:
Krogers is a piece of crap as far as I'm concerned but I guess Shop rite is no better since they actually donate to Autism Speaks in April of every year. It is cringe worthy though, but if you really wanna start a conversation I would say something along the lines of "So you wanna fight me?" or "I'm on the spectrum, how do you react to me?". You can be a bit humorous on it as well that way its not too serious and comes off too brass. Remember, all you're doing is starting a conversation.


Autism speaks is not worth mentioning. What i have read from them is disgusting and discredits our whole community. They won't ever get any cent from me.

I could have started a similar conversation, but it was not the right time for it, for i was too aggravated. And i don't work well when i am in this mood


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Biskit69
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09 Jun 2018, 12:37 pm

I would've told the manager that my autism is a gift. Hopefully he changes it. If he doesn't, I will protest (I'm bad at being a leader so I'll tell my very confident autistic friend to do it)


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