How and where do I find a boyfriend?

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WolvesandDogs
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04 Jun 2018, 11:40 am

Closet Genious wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

Only for the shallow loser guys.


A bit harsh don't you think?

I can definitely respect a girl who wants to wait until marriage, only if she is a virgin however.

I am a virgin.



WolvesandDogs
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04 Jun 2018, 11:42 am

Wolfram87 wrote:
From the sound of it, church might work. If not church itself, maybe some church-arranged social activities or events?

Unfortinately, the church I go to is very small, and there are no guys my age that goes to it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jun 2018, 12:48 pm

Mudboy wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

Only for the shallow loser guys.


A bit harsh don't you think?

I can definitely respect a girl who wants to wait until marriage, only if she is a virgin however.

My reply was extremely mild compared to the sick statement I was responding to. If I heard a guy say something like that to my daughter or nieces, I would go postal.

She could meet people by joining hobby groups. Making male friends is the first step...



Not everyone is a radical Christian, you know.



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04 Jun 2018, 4:14 pm

Mudboy wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

Only for the shallow loser guys.



There might be a few guys here and there that want to wait until marriage, but most would take it as soon as they can get it. :P



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04 Jun 2018, 7:32 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

Only for the shallow loser guys.


A bit harsh don't you think?

I can definitely respect a girl who wants to wait until marriage, only if she is a virgin however.

My reply was extremely mild compared to the sick statement I was responding to. If I heard a guy say something like that to my daughter or nieces, I would go postal.

She could meet people by joining hobby groups. Making male friends is the first step...



Not everyone is a radical Christian, you know.
I am not xtian, but their book is one of several guides for learning good morals.


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ShadowProphet
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04 Jun 2018, 9:00 pm

WolvesandDogs wrote:
I was wondering how people even find relationships to begin with. I am 21, and I have been single as single can be for my entire life. I just don’t get what I am doing wrong. I was not ready to date until a few years ago and when I decided I was ready for a relationship, no one has come my way. Do I need to seek out a boyfriend? I do not know how dating works. I understand how other people find relationships, but I do not know how to get into a relationship myself.

I am not looking for a fickle fleeting love that will be there one day and gone the next. I am searching for that person that I can spend the rest of my life with. You know, be friends, then date, and eventually get married. I want someone that will be there for the rest of my life, and I do not know where to find him.

This is something difficult for me to deal with. I want to have loving feelings for someone, and I want to be in a relationship. I just do not know how.

I wish that God would lead the person who he wants me to be with my way. I believe in God, and I’d like someone that could share that belief with me, or at least accept it.

I feel like I should be in a relationship by now. I have tried Match and failed. Where do you think I should go to find someone? I am a nice girl. I want to wait until marriage to... you know. I want to be in a caring relationship with a guy that likes me for me. I must be doing something wrong because I do not believe I am undesirable. I am comfortable with who I am, but I can’t even tell if a guy will like me. Any advice?



First off, understand that being 21 and having no relationship experience is still pretty socially acceptable, and still normal. You're still pretty young.

Here's how dating works in a nutshell. For most people, it generally works like. You meet someone, you get their contact information (phone number, snapchat, Facebook etc..), you ask them out on a date, if you click on the first date you go on several dates, somewhere in between you might have sex, and somewhere along the way you define a label for your relationship (FWB, f-buddy, booty call, relationship)

Now i'm going to give you some honest advice. No watered down political correctness horse crap, just straight up truth. When a guy is looking for a girl to date, the first thing he's going to notice is the girl's looks. Is she hot? is she bangable? is she ugly? is she obese? And only if you pass his looks test will he look at your personality and see if you two are compatible or not. If you don't pass his looks test, if he finds you physically unattractive, then you stand absolutely no chance. Call it shallow but then again, dating in general is shallow.

So you would be smart to max out your looks as much as possible, because if you're a girl, looks is the most important factor in your attractiveness.

Get a gym membership, even if you're not fat. Do some squats so you can get a nice looking butt. Guys go crazy over that sht, believe me.

Obviously I have no idea what you look like but if you're obese, then you need to fix that. There is literally no reason to be obese; it's lazy, it's gross, and quite frankly it's unattractive to most guys.

If your hair is short like a boys, then you need to fix that as well.

Dress nicer as well if that's an issue for you.



WolvesandDogs
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04 Jun 2018, 9:57 pm

ShadowProphet wrote:
WolvesandDogs wrote:
I was wondering how people even find relationships to begin with. I am 21, and I have been single as single can be for my entire life. I just don’t get what I am doing wrong. I was not ready to date until a few years ago and when I decided I was ready for a relationship, no one has come my way. Do I need to seek out a boyfriend? I do not know how dating works. I understand how other people find relationships, but I do not know how to get into a relationship myself.

I am not looking for a fickle fleeting love that will be there one day and gone the next. I am searching for that person that I can spend the rest of my life with. You know, be friends, then date, and eventually get married. I want someone that will be there for the rest of my life, and I do not know where to find him.

This is something difficult for me to deal with. I want to have loving feelings for someone, and I want to be in a relationship. I just do not know how.

I wish that God would lead the person who he wants me to be with my way. I believe in God, and I’d like someone that could share that belief with me, or at least accept it.

I feel like I should be in a relationship by now. I have tried Match and failed. Where do you think I should go to find someone? I am a nice girl. I want to wait until marriage to... you know. I want to be in a caring relationship with a guy that likes me for me. I must be doing something wrong because I do not believe I am undesirable. I am comfortable with who I am, but I can’t even tell if a guy will like me. Any advice?



First off, understand that being 21 and having no relationship experience is still pretty socially acceptable, and still normal. You're still pretty young.

Here's how dating works in a nutshell. For most people, it generally works like. You meet someone, you get their contact information (phone number, snapchat, Facebook etc..), you ask them out on a date, if you click on the first date you go on several dates, somewhere in between you might have sex, and somewhere along the way you define a label for your relationship (FWB, f-buddy, booty call, relationship)

Now i'm going to give you some honest advice. No watered down political correctness horse crap, just straight up truth. When a guy is looking for a girl to date, the first thing he's going to notice is the girl's looks. Is she hot? is she bangable? is she ugly? is she obese? And only if you pass his looks test will he look at your personality and see if you two are compatible or not. If you don't pass his looks test, if he finds you physically unattractive, then you stand absolutely no chance. Call it shallow but then again, dating in general is shallow.

So you would be smart to max out your looks as much as possible, because if you're a girl, looks is the most important factor in your attractiveness.

Get a gym membership, even if you're not fat. Do some squats so you can get a nice looking butt. Guys go crazy over that sht, believe me.

Obviously I have no idea what you look like but if you're obese, then you need to fix that. There is literally no reason to be obese; it's lazy, it's gross, and quite frankly it's unattractive to most guys.

If your hair is short like a boys, then you need to fix that as well.

Dress nicer as well if that's an issue for you.

First of all, there is something called hypothyroidism which basically makes you metabolize things slower, and I happen to have that. I am confident the in the way I look. Would I like to lose weight? Yes. Should what I size I am matter? No. If a guy does not like me for the way I am, he is not the guy for me. If he can't handle me wearing Hanson T-shirts and jeans most of the time, why would I want to be in a relationship with him? If I can't be myself, I think that I will just wait to find the right person who accepts me for me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jun 2018, 1:03 am

Mudboy wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

Only for the shallow loser guys.


A bit harsh don't you think?

I can definitely respect a girl who wants to wait until marriage, only if she is a virgin however.

My reply was extremely mild compared to the sick statement I was responding to. If I heard a guy say something like that to my daughter or nieces, I would go postal.

She could meet people by joining hobby groups. Making male friends is the first step...



Not everyone is a radical Christian, you know.
I am not xtian, but their book is one of several guides for learning good morals.



Your reaction sounded too xtian, if you are not one then you are certainly culturally one.



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05 Jun 2018, 5:22 pm

WolvesandDogs wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

It is not a turnoff for the decent ones. I’d much rather wait for a guy that has strong morals even if it takes a whole lot longer to find them.

Having sex isn’t a lack of strong morals. I find that comment insulting. I have strong morals, I’m loyal, kind, caring compassionate. I don’t want to wait years for something that’s a big part of a relationship, I’m not asexual. Most men will want sex within 2-6 dates. I’d probably wait month or so myself but years until we marry only to find out she never wants sex or is asexual or incompatible sexually then we’d need a divorce no thanks.
Best of luck, maybe try asexual dating sites?



Last edited by sly279 on 05 Jun 2018, 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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05 Jun 2018, 5:52 pm

sly279 wrote:
WolvesandDogs wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

It is not a turnoff for the decent ones. I’d much rather wait for a guy that has strong morals even if it takes a whole lot longer to find them.

Having sex is a lack of strong morals. I find that comment insulting. I have strong morals, I’m loyal, kind, caring compassionate. I don’t want to wait years for something that’s a big part of a relationship, I’m not asexual. Most men will want sex within 2-6 dates. I’d probably wait month or so myself but years until we marry only to find out she never wants sex or is asexual or incompatible sexually then we’d need a divorce no thanks.
Best of luck, maybe try asexual dating sites?


:lol: Um, no, not it isn't. Having sex has nothing to do with the strength of one's morals. You, and others, simply have to accept that not everyone lives by the same moral code that you do. Just because someone chooses to have sex doesn't mean they're immoral in the least bit. All it means is that they choose to have sex. That's it, that's all. You're free to do so, or to choose not to have sex, but to project your morals upon others and suggest that they're immoral for not living their life by your moral code is flat out wrong.


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05 Jun 2018, 5:55 pm

WolvesandDogs wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Mudboy wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

Only for the shallow loser guys.


A bit harsh don't you think?

I can definitely respect a girl who wants to wait until marriage, only if she is a virgin however.

I am a virgin.

I fully expect to wake up to 10 pages in the thread tomorrow, with random infighting, debates about the sanctity of marriage and a lock by the 11th page.


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05 Jun 2018, 5:58 pm

Don't get into a relationship. They usually end in heartbreak.


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05 Jun 2018, 6:04 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
WolvesandDogs wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

It is not a turnoff for the decent ones. I’d much rather wait for a guy that has strong morals even if it takes a whole lot longer to find them.

Having sex is a lack of strong morals. I find that comment insulting. I have strong morals, I’m loyal, kind, caring compassionate. I don’t want to wait years for something that’s a big part of a relationship, I’m not asexual. Most men will want sex within 2-6 dates. I’d probably wait month or so myself but years until we marry only to find out she never wants sex or is asexual or incompatible sexually then we’d need a divorce no thanks.
Best of luck, maybe try asexual dating sites?


:lol: Um, no, not it isn't. Having sex has nothing to do with the strength of one's morals. You, and others, simply have to accept that not everyone lives by the same moral code that you do. Just because someone chooses to have sex doesn't mean they're immoral in the least bit. All it means is that they choose to have sex. That's it, that's all. You're free to do so, or to choose not to have sex, but to project your morals upon others and suggest that they're immoral for not living their life by your moral code is flat out wrong.

Meant isn’t. I was insulted that she seems to state me wanting sex before marriage means I lack strong morals. If you’d read my whole post I’d think you’d realis the mistake. Autocorrect changed it from isn’t to is. I would like to have lots of pre marriage sex. If I somehow managed to get a relationship I doubt I’d ever get married. But it’s all hypothetical for me.



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05 Jun 2018, 6:05 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Don't get into a relationship. They usually end in heartbreak.

1 you going leave yours then?
2. Better to log and lost then never loved at all.

I’d take 5000 bad relationships that all ended then never having one. He’ll if I had a month long relationship and died I’d die happy. I’d rather love a short life having had a relationship and been loved then this horrible long never ending crap life I’m living



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05 Jun 2018, 6:19 pm

I just looked online, there are lots of Christian dating sites. Have you tried that option?



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05 Jun 2018, 6:20 pm

sly279 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
WolvesandDogs wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The waiting until marriage is a universal turnoff for every guy out there.

It is not a turnoff for the decent ones. I’d much rather wait for a guy that has strong morals even if it takes a whole lot longer to find them.

Having sex is a lack of strong morals. I find that comment insulting. I have strong morals, I’m loyal, kind, caring compassionate. I don’t want to wait years for something that’s a big part of a relationship, I’m not asexual. Most men will want sex within 2-6 dates. I’d probably wait month or so myself but years until we marry only to find out she never wants sex or is asexual or incompatible sexually then we’d need a divorce no thanks.
Best of luck, maybe try asexual dating sites?


:lol: Um, no, not it isn't. Having sex has nothing to do with the strength of one's morals. You, and others, simply have to accept that not everyone lives by the same moral code that you do. Just because someone chooses to have sex doesn't mean they're immoral in the least bit. All it means is that they choose to have sex. That's it, that's all. You're free to do so, or to choose not to have sex, but to project your morals upon others and suggest that they're immoral for not living their life by your moral code is flat out wrong.

Meant isn’t. I was insulted that she seems to state me wanting sex before marriage means I lack strong morals. If you’d read my whole post I’d think you’d realis the mistake. Autocorrect changed it from isn’t to is. I would like to have lots of pre marriage sex. If I somehow managed to get a relationship I doubt I’d ever get married. But it’s all hypothetical for me.


Gotcha. I did read your whole post, but did not realize there was a typo. Thanks for the clarification, sly. :)


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