need help with family ruining me after diagnosis

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belgiumguitardude
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04 Jun 2018, 6:33 am

My family is scaring me. They keep trying to paint me off as "retarded", "crazy", " looney" since my diagnosis. Important: i since recently live alone again after a one year stint back home, so i'm not dependant.

I found out something very sinister : My parents keep spreading lies about me, to literally lock me up and they LIE to do it. They use scare character assassination tactics and dont realise they are able to ruin my life legally, effectively putting me in the kind of dangerzone where I'll have to constantly explain to people they are lying, including POLICE. I live alone, take care of myself, but they (seemingly) want to "lock me up". They keep saying that, cause they want to put me away somewhere and i dont even know in gods honest f**** truth what the hell they are on about.

F.e:
- i "hallucinate" cause i'm reading books about alternate universes and i draw things on my blackboard to try to understand what the implications are in real life. He took pictures of them while visiting me, send them to my doctor behind my back to say "i've lost my mind" and that i'm "seeing ghosts".
- he tried mixing anti-depressants in my food without me knowing when i was younger, which he bought on the internet, cause "he was tired of my madness".
- he tried sending a letter to a judge pre-diagnosis to put me "in a home", cause i "was mental" so better to lock up and throw away the key cause i'm not up to his standards. Coincidentally five months after my patron said the lawyer job wasnt for me and discarded me. I was in constant anxiety on this job, couldnt concentrate, it was too much for me. He admitted to my face he 'lied to the judge cause he wont stand the shame of having a retarded son". He told him i was a "drug addict that was violent and believed in ghosts". I sometimes take weed oil to calm down. Big deal. Since i quit my legal career he tells people i'm not his son if he meets me on the street. To people who visited me at my cribbe. What a tool. I had to explain to a judge in court that it was all lies, and i almost got send to a psychiatric home cause of the weirdest bullshit propaganda. The judge even said "but u think there are other worlds? what is wrong with you".
- I quit being a lawyer cause i couldnt care less about it. I hate it. Since then i'm "the biggest loser in the world".
- my ex-neighbours now think i'm absolutely crazy. Now i know why. My neighbour told me my father went around on the town BBQ that i'm 'retarded" and "i believe in ghosts".
- My employer told me my father called me to "warn him that i'm a retard" and that i'll "probably steal money from the register". He'll do this while drunk.

Anybody else has any clue what the hell i can do ? i feel i either have to lose my parents or this ends very wrong, cause i've given them books, and my specialist has called them to stop being morons but they dont care. My father says "autism is a word for retard, look it up.' I try to give him hugs and kisses when i see him and he pushes me away, saying i"m not his child". I'm 32 and i need love so i'll put up with this s**t. He and my mother are the only family i have. Literally. I'm not invited anymore at christmas, i'm not allowed to see them anymore all because i'm "officialy " retarded. I have a brother, and i thought he was smart enough to be cool about it, he cut me off the MOMENT he knew. Little surprise, my father was sending him emails i hated him for years, and years. He'll never believe me over him. I tried explaining and its over.

How he thinks : he was a guitarist and just to make him proud i learned to play guitar behind his back in a very short amount of time, effectively good enough for enrolling me in an evening after work jazzacademy advanced level next year even though i cant even read notes. I was really proud and at christmas I played a jazz piece from his hero Pat Metheny, and before he thought i couldnt even play a G chord. he went white with rage. He stopped playing cause i 'ruined it"for him and said i "ruined his life". He's been playing for 30 years and i dwarf him in guitar now after about one year of half interested solo practise with youtube. I was trying to make a point i'm not an idiot but apparently i can do no right. BUT when i was working with my degree i was his "lawyer son" and surprise then he liked me. Now when i see him in town (i now live alone) he doesnt even look at me.

Am i wrong to think he doesnt give a s**t about me personally but only when i was his stupid lawyer prospect? Has anyone ever dealt with this kind of social destruction of character cause u are diagnosed?? They keep telling me i'm crazy and they tell it to everyone, and i'm f*****g scared what the hell is happening. Its like i'm in an Alfred Hitchcock movie.
PS: i had to type this very quickly, sorry for the chaotic rant.



Fnord
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04 Jun 2018, 8:05 am

You need legal protection. Talk to a lawyer.


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StarThrower
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04 Jun 2018, 8:33 am

Read up on ' Gaslighting ' and ' mobbing ' , they are insidious tools designed specifically to marginalize and isolate people and is practiced by deeply disturbed individuals . My advice would be to get as far away from this ' Family ' as you can afford . Despite being your parents , they clearly have no interest in your well being . Your ' Family ' sounds a lot like mine and I wouldn't dream of telling them that I was autistic because I know that it would lead to even more abuse . What we need is acceptance and understanding not shame and rejection .



BeaArthur
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04 Jun 2018, 9:00 am

I'm really sorry to hear your family are acting like this. It says much more about them and their faulty values and morals than it says about you.

belgiumguitardude wrote:
I'm 32 and i need love so i'll put up with this s**t.


I urge you to stop telling yourself this. The only three human needs are food, shelter and clothing. Like all people, you want love and would benefit from love. But you are only getting abuse and damage from your family.

As hard as it is to hear, you should completely distance yourself from them and try to build other connections. Good luck, and know that you are not alone.


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Fnord
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04 Jun 2018, 9:04 am

My relatives still think of me as a weak, clumsy, and confused child of 14.
I am 60+. I've lived on the west coast for the last 30 years. My relatives all live east of the Mississippi.
My advice about the lawyer still stands; but maybe you should move far from your relatives, as well.


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Since there is no singular, absolute definition of human nature,
nor any ultimate evaluation of human nature beyond that which we project onto others,
individuals should be judged or defined only by their actions and choices,
and not by what we only imagine their intentions and motivations to be.


nick007
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04 Jun 2018, 9:16 am

Your family is horrible to you & you'd be much more better off without them in your life at all. Take whatever steps you need to cut them out of your life completely including talking to a lawyer to see about getting a restraining order against them.


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