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Gremlin
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

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Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: Denver

12 Dec 2006, 1:31 pm

ghotistix wrote:
Asking me what I'm thinking
The first time someone asked me this, I replied--without joking, 'At this point, I'm thinking of an answer to your question.' After some semantic argument, it turned out that I'd forgotten what I'd been thinking about before she became a gameshow host at me.

ghotistix wrote:
"Be yourself."
Yeah. They say that. Then they lock up misanthropes. I'm thinking Entrapment.

ghotistix wrote:
Grammar mistakes
Grammar, spelling, et cetera. Nothing thrills me like being told 'your retarted'. I wonder sometimes: if I joined Mensa, would I get a membership card? And could I use it as evidence that I don't have to talk to these people? It would make it worth it: 'Ah; wait; one moment...it's here some--got it. Mensan. Yeah: superbiped; sorry. There's a squirrel over there; go talk to it.'

I'm bothered by things in stores which lack pricetags, and get placed above the little informational tag for something entirely else. I don't even have to want the thing, whatever it is and whatever it costs; it becomes this sort of dharma to go find out anyway. Related: having to deal with clerks who don't understand what I'm asking, why I'm asking, or why it matters to me that I had to ask what the damned thing cost.

Anything a priori. I've come to the conclusion that 'think about it', as support for any concept, translates directly to 'you're right; I concede; it was a stupid, baseless assertion which sounded good in my own deplorable brain until it met with no changes in your expression'.

Any instance of MeToo [possibly including this reply]; exempli gratia:

'I like cheese.'
'Me too!'
'I will never, ever care.'

Only a Theory. Of all vernacular rewrites, this one bugs me the most. 'Evolution is only a theory! That's why it's called the Theory of Evolution! Think about it!' Yeah, well: Everything is only a theory; that's why it's called the Theory of Everything. Go back to your JellO.

People asking for my opinion before I could possibly know what it is. Like, as the film is ending.
'So. Wha'dya think?'
'I dunno; I'm still reading the credits.'

There are more, but I should probably go read the thread now to see what's already redundant....

timkibler wrote:
People - in all their good intentions - rearranging my things in the name of organization, because they seem convinced that I have no intention of seeing to it myself, eventually, and that when I do I will organize things the way I want to.
This one's important. Actual conversation:

'What happened to the sheet of paper I'd set here.'
'What sheet of paper.'
'The important one. It was right here.'
'I dunno. All I saw was some kleenex and a couple empty soda cans. What paper.'
'Yeah. The kleenex and cans are gone too. Which is fine; I was done with them. Now I need the sheet of paper. I set it right here; now it's gone.'
'What sheet of paper! When!'
'The one I need now; two weeks ago.'

If I put something--anything--a sheet of paper, the MonaLisa, anything--in a volume of space, on this planet, there are two facts to remember: 1) I know where I'd put it, and 2) I want it to be there when I go back for it. Damnit.

Sarcastic_Name wrote:
You grammar nuts well love this story:
I like it already >:)

No one likes adverts? Weird. Those things are fodder.

I saw one from some satellite company strawmmanning a cable subscriber getting her monthy bill for thirty-two hundred bucks. Made me happy: I only pay $160.

I also like telemarketers. In the sense that I like any professional victim. I do this to them:

[ring]
'Yeah'
'Hello this is Brad from Mumblemutter, Incorporated calling to tell you about [snipping several yottabytes of unimportance] how does that sound to you.'
'Sorry; what was your name?'
'This is Brad.'
'Brad. Got it. What was after "Brad".'

I like the ones who aren't able to get off the phone before I ring off. I've had them repeat, spell, define, and conjure up synonyms for every word in their speeches. Hours of fun. Literally.


_________________
Yeah; like I'd be capable of sarcasm....


Aspiewriter
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

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Joined: 17 Jun 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 322

18 Jun 2009, 5:35 pm

Well my biggest pet peeve is someone who goes to the restroom and does not wash their hands. And my second biggest pet peeve is people who go from the far left lane and merge too quickly, cutting people off in the process, veering dangerously toward the exit ramp. At the last minute!! !