I wish I could come out...
I am bisexual and have a gay older sister. For some reason, my parents do not want me to come out. I am mostly straight but slightly L/G. Most of my crushes have been boys, but I have had one (and only one) girl crush. I think the reason why I can't come out is because my parents don't want another queer person in my family, so that is probably why I am mostly straight. My mom doesn't believe in bisexual people anyways. What should I do?
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what is L/G?
As for coming out... if it you want to be able to date women, you're either going to have to come out, or to date people who are OK with a closeted partner. I think that might be a good place to start. Decide if you want to date women, or if you're OK with only dating boys. If you do want to date women, decide if it's OK that you're options will be greatly reduced. If that's not OK then you need to be out for yourself. At that point it doesn't matter what your parents think unless you're under 18. If you're under 18 then parents have a little more leeway to make problems from it, but after 18 they don't have as much control.
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Very high systematizing, low empathy, but moderate to high sympathy.
I do not experience cognitive dissonance reduction the way that other people do.
Professionally diagnosed in March 2018
what is L/G?
As for coming out... if it you want to be able to date women, you're either going to have to come out, or to date people who are OK with a closeted partner. I think that might be a good place to start. Decide if you want to date women, or if you're OK with only dating boys. If you do want to date women, decide if it's OK that you're options will be greatly reduced. If that's not OK then you need to be out for yourself. At that point it doesn't matter what your parents think unless you're under 18. If you're under 18 then parents have a little more leeway to make problems from it, but after 18 they don't have as much control.
L/G refers to lesbian/gay. I am under 18, so my parents would potentially cause problems for me if I came out. I know that I'm a closeted bisexual too. Thanks for the advice!
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ooh, that was my first guess but I didn't wanna assume. ♥
Good luck! I hope you find the ways to express yourself and be in love with the peoples you wanna be in love with ♥♥♥
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Very high systematizing, low empathy, but moderate to high sympathy.
I do not experience cognitive dissonance reduction the way that other people do.
Professionally diagnosed in March 2018
Somehow I think that my parents think that autism and bisexuality don't mix well. I know someone I go to school with who is also autistic and bisexual. Like I said, I have to pretend I'm straight most of the time to prevent my parents from getting upset. I imagine a buildup of stress caused by not being able to express my sexuality in the same way autistic burnout occurs.
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It can be so hard figuring out how to talk about gayness with your parents, especially when they're not as accepting as you'd like them to be! And that sounds like a challenge- you probably want to keep your parents happy and follow their rules, but you also want to be who you are!! At the end of the day, whether or not you come out is your decision, and nobody else's. You have every right to be who you are, and to tell people about who you are, even if that's hard for your parents.
NorwichGeorge
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 27 May 2018
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 62
Location: Norwich, UK
Don't hide who you are because you think your parents will disapprove. Your feelings aren't going to go away and it has the potential to cause you more emotional stress by trying to be someone that you are not. I was in a similar position to you in that I was 'mostly straight', I think about 75% of the people I find attractive are girls, 25% boys. I knew I liked both for as long as I knew what attraction was but because I didn't think my parents would approve I decided to never tell anyone and just act like I was 100% straight. It was only when, earlier this year well into adulthood, that I finally told someone (and I didn't plan on doing it, they came out to me and I then let them know that I understood because I was the same) that I realised how much negative feelings I'd built up around myself because I liked boys as well. Be true to yourself and you'll be better off.
likewise, i only ever had one major crush on a female friend. i don't get crushes often tho, i have had maybe 4 significant ones in my adult life where i really, really fell in love with the person. 3/4 male and 1 female. half the time i feel completely asexual and not attracted to anyone. it's hard for me to fall but when i do it's super intense :')
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Diagnosed with ADHD
Online Autism/ Asperger's Screening = 38 (Autism likely)
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why wouldn't it tho? you have to do you, it's the only way to feel ok in your skin xxx
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Diagnosed with ADHD
Online Autism/ Asperger's Screening = 38 (Autism likely)
AnonymousAnonymous
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