Successful relationships on the spectrum

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

Arganger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2018
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,707
Location: Colorado

18 Jun 2018, 9:07 pm

For anyone in a long term relationship, preferably marriage, and happy, how did you do it?

What works for a healthy and successful relationship, and how did you pursue it, with this neurological wiring?


_________________
Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,815
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Jun 2018, 9:09 pm

What worked for me was helping my wife get through her LPN nursing program. And her encouraging me to get my driver's license.

Right now, the relationship isn't going so well----but we are still good friends.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 23,421
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

19 Jun 2018, 7:36 am

Me & my current girlfriend have been living together over 5 & a half years & we would of gotten married a while ago but we're both disabled & it'll screw up her benefits. She's on the spectrum too & sent me a PM after reading lots of posts I made in L&D about what I was wanting in a partner, the way I am within a relationship, & what I have to offer a partner. I've had a horrible time getting women due to my various mental & physical disabilities & the fact that I'm too direct & straight forward. I have a hard time getting the rite meaning of what NT women say & they look for hidden meanings in what I say. I like being supportive within a relationship cuz I have more than my fair share of issues & I know what it's likt to have & not have support. Cass has some similar issues as me & wasn't exactly wanting a relationship but was open to one with the rite guy who would be really supportive of her. We'd both have a hard time living alone & Cass has lived alone before but couldn't handle it & would of moved in with family but she wasn't found of the idea & would of had problems with that. I was stuck living with my parents due to no other options & they resented me living there at my age. So our relationship worked out.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"

~King Of The Hill


liveandrew
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2016
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 479
Location: Cornwall, UK

19 Jun 2018, 7:48 am

I met my wife when I was your age (17). We just got along really well and had the same views on most everything. We also lived together for about ten years and had our first child before getting wed. 33 years and another child later and we're still together and very happy. I know it's clichéd but she really is my best friend.

Advice:
1) Marry your best friend.
2) Don't go to bed on an argument.


_________________
Diagnosed: Asperger's Syndrome (ICD-10)
Self-Diagnosed: Aphantasia
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 46 of 200

Listener of all things noisy, viewer of all things bloody, writer of all things sh*t.


disconnected412
Raven
Raven

Joined: 18 Jun 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 119
Location: NE USA

19 Jun 2018, 8:10 am

I’m going on 9 years with my wife. I told her on the 2nd date I was weird and my odd behavior patterns. That way she could opt out, or choose to accept what she was in for.



Arevelion
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2018
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 348
Location: VT

20 Jun 2018, 8:05 pm

Yeaaaahhh. About that. :oops:

Honestly I asked many women out and one day one of them decided to cuddle closer to me. It was a shock, but I am sure glad she did. It might help that she's on the spectrum too.



Arganger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2018
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,707
Location: Colorado

21 Jun 2018, 9:04 am

Arevelion wrote:
Yeaaaahhh. About that. :oops:

Honestly I asked many women out and one day one of them decided to cuddle closer to me. It was a shock, but I am sure glad she did. It might help that she's on the spectrum too.


That makes more since to me than flirting at least, though I would be way to shy to do that.


_________________
Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia


Aavikkorotta
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 118

21 Jun 2018, 12:52 pm

liveandrew wrote:
Advice:
1) Marry your best friend.
2) Don't go to bed on an argument.

:? What if I marry my third-best friend? 'Cause the other two are atheists and one is female.


_________________
Logical Sensory Extrovert (ESTj) . Enneagram 1-6-2
Protestant . Female . Asexual . self-diagnosed Aspie
I enjoy charts, knitting, gaming, and interacting with real but atypical people.


liveandrew
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2016
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 479
Location: Cornwall, UK

21 Jun 2018, 1:03 pm

Aavikkorotta wrote:
liveandrew wrote:
Advice:
1) Marry your best friend.
2) Don't go to bed on an argument.

:? What if I marry my third-best friend? 'Cause the other two are atheists and one is female.

I guess that will have to do :)


_________________
Diagnosed: Asperger's Syndrome (ICD-10)
Self-Diagnosed: Aphantasia
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 46 of 200

Listener of all things noisy, viewer of all things bloody, writer of all things sh*t.