How common are female aspies who haven't dated yet?

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fifasy
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18 Aug 2018, 6:50 pm

Tequila wrote:
fifasy wrote:
Sorry. I'm mad about a Canadian actress at the moment who I probably have no chance of ever being with. I sent her a couple of Twitter messages and never got a response. I kind of feel your pain. Unrequited love is a real b***h.


It's harassment. You harassed an actress on Twitter.


You got anything better to do, Armchair Lawyer? :P



CockneyRebel
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18 Aug 2018, 9:36 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I have the best pokemon related joke, and it fits this thread perfectly.

A WILD MISSINGNO APPEARS. GET IT? MISSING NUMBER? :o :o :o :o :D

Oh dear.. :hail:


I wonder if it bears any resemblance to Sgt Schultz. :lol:


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CockneyRebel
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18 Aug 2018, 9:58 pm

Tequila wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
fifasy wrote:

In my opinion men make more of an effort to find women... than women make an effort to find men. Throughout my life I have seen men drink more alcohol... and take more risks than women. Because they have to! Generally speaking. But maybe Aspie women have to take more risks too. That was my thinking.


In my experience men don't make much effort. It's always me doing the asking and inviting. It really gets me down. No one seems to want to put themselves out there to get to know me. It's always down to me to try and organise the next meet up. I'm sick of it. I wish someone would like me enough to want to ask me out not always me asking them, putting myself forward and getting rejected in the long run. It's depressing.


In my case I don't actively ask out the women I'm interested in because I have low self esteem and know they'll reject me. Then I risk being seen as a creep and would have to abandon the entire social circle. Basically, asking a girl out could cost me everything, so I don't.



Generally, if you ever second guess whether a girl likes you or not then it’s 99% chance means she doesn’t.

Usually women are way less subtle in showing interest than us men, even when they think they are not being so obvious.

So yeah, you are doing it right.


Really? Generally, in the UK anyway, men have a reputation for not picking up on signals from women.


There's a culture in women's magazines of "Ooh, men are thick, aren't they?" - this culture can pose a problem I think.


Canada's b***h magazine is the perfect example. I read a copy one time and I can't be bothered to read another.


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BacterialAutism
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20 Aug 2018, 12:58 pm

I've literally only dated on Club Penguin.



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24 Aug 2018, 9:32 am

I'm almost 54 and have never really dated, to speak of.



gushingwind
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24 Aug 2018, 3:07 pm

me, unless you count dating a kid i didn't even like for a few weeks when i was 14 and dumping him by text. since i've been 18 men have only ever wanted to sleep with me. or the ones who were into me just weren't my type. or like they were kinda into me but into another girl more and ultimately choose her because well, i'd choose a mentally stable woman over me too. and i've been pretty isolated these last two years because i've had to survive off benefits. i tried tinder and some men seemed promising but it ultimately fizzled out because i'm not studying or working and that's a turn off to people. i supposed i could broaden my options down to 18 (currently it's at 20, i'm 22) to find someone at my maturity level, problem is most 18 year olds around here blow all their money on drugs and clubbing and that's just eww to me.



Ecomatt91
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24 Aug 2018, 7:56 pm

gushingwind wrote:
me, unless you count dating a kid i didn't even like for a few weeks when i was 14 and dumping him by text. since i've been 18 men have only ever wanted to sleep with me. or the ones who were into me just weren't my type. or like they were kinda into me but into another girl more and ultimately choose her because well, i'd choose a mentally stable woman over me too. and i've been pretty isolated these last two years because i've had to survive off benefits. i tried tinder and some men seemed promising but it ultimately fizzled out because i'm not studying or working and that's a turn off to people. i supposed i could broaden my options down to 18 (currently it's at 20, i'm 22) to find someone at my maturity level, problem is most 18 year olds around here blow all their money on drugs and clubbing and that's just eww to me.


Same here when I was at your age and from 18 when move out of home to uni. I am 27 now and unfortunately I don't see much change for people from mid to late 20's. It apparent Gen Y problem these days. So much influence by media and technology feeding and breeding bad personalities.



sly279
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25 Aug 2018, 12:46 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
gushingwind wrote:
me, unless you count dating a kid i didn't even like for a few weeks when i was 14 and dumping him by text. since i've been 18 men have only ever wanted to sleep with me. or the ones who were into me just weren't my type. or like they were kinda into me but into another girl more and ultimately choose her because well, i'd choose a mentally stable woman over me too. and i've been pretty isolated these last two years because i've had to survive off benefits. i tried tinder and some men seemed promising but it ultimately fizzled out because i'm not studying or working and that's a turn off to people. i supposed i could broaden my options down to 18 (currently it's at 20, i'm 22) to find someone at my maturity level, problem is most 18 year olds around here blow all their money on drugs and clubbing and that's just eww to me.


Same here when I was at your age and from 18 when move out of home to uni. I am 27 now and unfortunately I don't see much change for people from mid to late 20's. It apparent Gen Y problem these days. So much influence by media and technology feeding and breeding bad personalities.


True, most people my age 30 either have kids or their idea of fun is bars and clubs which means drinking, or just buying alcohol and drinking at home. I have nothing to say to them as I don’t believe in drinking alcohol. I’m lame they say.

Most the dates I got were 19-23 year olds. I’ve dated two women my age. I wish there were more women in benifits like like the her, maybe they’d date men in benefits but probably not. Most women here where I live seem to be highly successful, feminism work d very well on the west coast it seems.



Ecomatt91
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25 Aug 2018, 7:32 pm

Sly, it is definitely true. I think this is got something to do with culture of western countries. Earlier conversations about how empathetic of foreign women being with someone who are seen as weird, creepy and stereotypical by their domestic peers. Its definitely the Gen Y problem. There so many extroverted people expected us Aspies including myself to be smart like how they see good at communication and social skills to have big label of 'a girlfriend', 'big money job' and high expectations.

In other thread there mentioned about alcohol and party culture for people in their 20's. Of course this has never changed even our parents partied in their 20's but the culture is a lot more reality than stereotyped by media and technology. I think mid 1990's was a shift in Gen Y culture for people in their 20's.

I was at the wedding last night. There were two women around same age as me who are struggling to find their love. They are NTs and confident people. I am not sure what their lives are like but it made me think about expectations from media and stereotypes how and why people struggle to find while competitiveness of personality.



hurtloam
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25 Aug 2018, 8:57 pm

Ok, excuse me! Women aren't allowed to be intelligent and successful then? Or have fulfilling jobs? I'm sure you guys don't mean that.

Now, I'm not a big drinker, I do like a glass of wine now and then, but I don't like hanging out with heavy drinkers either. I'm also not very materialistic and I'm not business minded enough to be "successful". However, I don't think it's too much of an ask to want to be with a partner who meets me in that they're on the same intellectual level as me.

I'm not looking for a "successful" man with a nice house and a nice car. What I want is someone I feel comfortable with and who I can share my interests with.

But I can't be with someone who isn't on the same wavelength as me. It's not about social status. It's about being partners. I've said this before and caused upset, but I can't cope with having to look after someone, especially now my parents are getting older. That would be 3 people to look after.



sly279
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25 Aug 2018, 10:23 pm

Huh? I said most women here are successful. I don’t care if a woman’s intelligent or successful. If we get along and like each other is all that matters to me.

Just sucks since no women will date me.

But you are successful

Maybe guy he looking after you too in different ways.