OK if it so impossible, how did my boyfriend find me?

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Skilpadde
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30 Jun 2018, 10:55 am

Fnord wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
... Some people want to make little to no effort in life and blame everyone when they fail to tend to the seeds which produce a fruitful tree...
This.

Those same people will ask for advice, dismiss each suggestion (whether they've tried it or not), and then blame everything and everybody except themselves for their failure to connect.

"Oh, but girls have it easy ... all they have to do is show up!" :roll:

"I'm so damned ugly that if ugly was a crime, I'd get the electric chair!" :roll:

"God doesn't want me to have a girlfriend!" :roll:

"It's those
<insert profane adjective here>-ing <insert misogynist epithet here> and their <insert profane adjective here>-ing high standards!" :roll:

"I can't get a girlfriend because no one will give me a job!" :roll:

"If only Sharia Law was in force; then they would HAVE to put out for me!"
:roll:

... yeah ... sure, guys ... whatever ... :roll:

Well put, Fnord! Good to see someone keeping it real in this section.


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Fnord
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30 Jun 2018, 11:00 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
It bothers me because I know people who lead miserable lives solely because they believe that "dark forces" beyond their control are "out to get them", and it physically hurts to see them that way. No amount of reason, no amount of guidance, and no amount of pleading with them can convince them that they not only need to keep trying, but they need to keep trying the right things. If I can convince someone that it is not the universe that's at fault, that there is no female conspiracy to withhold love from them, and that they are not too ugly to even find love, then I'll have accomplished something worthwhile -- something with a higher purpose than mere platitudes and motivational quotes can provide.
And when we know the fault lies within us and don't blame the Universe or gods or w/e, what then? ...
'We' stop whining, get up off 'our' lazy butts, and keep trying the things that actually work.


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Fnord
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30 Jun 2018, 11:04 am

Skilpadde wrote:
Well put, Fnord! Good to see someone keeping it real in this section.
Thanks!

Good to see the mods and I are on the same page!


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Booyakasha
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30 Jun 2018, 11:21 am

isloth wrote:
Only one way to find out, Booyakasha go and sit at a big table in a cafe alone and see if it happens! jk :lol:



lol god forbid, i think i'd freak out :lol:

never happened, hope it won't either *wipes off sweat*



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30 Jun 2018, 11:27 am

Booyakasha wrote:
isloth wrote:
Only one way to find out, Booyakasha go and sit at a big table in a cafe alone and see if it happens!
... i think i'd freak out ...
Aww, c'mon ... give it a try! Just once ... maybe ask some friends to sit at another table nearby as part of the 'experiment'. If things get too shaky for you, they would be right there to support you.

Whaddaya say? :D


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Booyakasha
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30 Jun 2018, 11:55 am

Fnord wrote:
Booyakasha wrote:
isloth wrote:
Only one way to find out, Booyakasha go and sit at a big table in a cafe alone and see if it happens!
... i think i'd freak out ...
Aww, c'mon ... give it a try! Just once ... maybe ask some friends to sit at another table nearby as part of the 'experiment'. If things get too shaky for you, they would be right there to support you.

Whaddaya say? :D


lol wtf i'm married :lol:

thanks for the idea, but no thanks lol



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30 Jun 2018, 7:30 pm

Fnord is a godsend to this place. Because of his comments in here, I’m pulling my lazy arse out of bed and going to clean my house. Thank you.



hale_bopp
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30 Jun 2018, 7:37 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
That is weird. People don’t do that. In New Zealand people scowl at people who sit next to them on the bus if there are other spare seats.

A guy used to flirt with me on a bus in Auckland. Non-verbally though. But if I'd sat next to him I doubt he would have complained :wink:


That isn’t very common. In big town New Zealand, people are extremely passive aggressive and unfriendly.

Many Americans I talk to don’t understand how people can be such a***holes.

Small towns are nicer, there is more of a community feel.

Although I am not particularly a people person, I will always say hello to people and ask them about their day. It’s not common. I’m the only person at work who says good morning to everyone as they walk in and past my desk.

That is interesting. I lived and worked there for 9 months and I do remember when I said I found the people friendly, I'd get told Auckland is actually the least friendly city in NZ. So I figured elsewhere they must be amazingly nice!


Rural South Island you will find the friendliest people. Then rural North Island. In big cities people are just left to die. No one cares about you and noone is nice to you. It’s all drugs, money, ego and sycophants in a place like Auckland.

I’m always pretty shocked when people say New Zealanders are friendly.

Maybe it's cos I was foreign then? Some nice guys let me rent a room in their house without even meeting me yet, we got along great and I dated one for a while. People at work were friendly and supportive, and I hung out with some of them outside of work which is pretty rare for me. I remember going for a walk in my local area and being shocked that a young (female) adult actually smiled and said hi when we passed each other. I felt safe. It was good. Geez now I want to move back to NZ!


If I were to guess, I’d say you’re probably very good looking. Either that or you were staying in a rich area.

The rich areas house the nicest people, otherwise you’re lucky not to get verbally abused or stolen from.

I’d give anything to own a place in Parnell or Remuera.



yellowtamarin
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30 Jun 2018, 9:58 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
If I were to guess, I’d say you’re probably very good looking. Either that or you were staying in a rich area.

The rich areas house the nicest people, otherwise you’re lucky not to get verbally abused or stolen from.

I’d give anything to own a place in Parnell or Remuera.

I've no idea - I lived in Massey - ? I worked in that building in the CBD with the toilet seat on top.
If I'm thinking of the right person, you're probably better looking than me. *shrug* it's a mystery!



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30 Jun 2018, 10:04 pm

I don’t know much about Massey. There are a lot of bad areas around there but it might not be. If it is bad, then you were lucky not to get cleaned out by bogans.

Maybe I am just jaded. I’ve been assaulted, abused, stolen from and generally treated like a piece of trash by poor people for no reason, so tend to completely avoid them nowdays.



yellowtamarin
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30 Jun 2018, 10:37 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I don’t know much about Massey. There are a lot of bad areas around there but it might not be. If it is bad, then you were lucky not to get cleaned out by bogans.

Maybe I am just jaded. I’ve been assaulted, abused, stolen from and generally treated like a piece of trash by poor people for no reason, so tend to completely avoid them nowdays.

I'm think maybe that second paragraph has something to do with it. I grew up around bogans and jokingly call myself part-bogan (I say as I sip a can of bourbon, haha!). My positive experience with that type of person has prevented me from thinking negatively of them, fearing them, etc.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Jun 2018, 11:39 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I don’t know much about Massey. There are a lot of bad areas around there but it might not be. If it is bad, then you were lucky not to get cleaned out by bogans.

Maybe I am just jaded. I’ve been assaulted, abused, stolen from and generally treated like a piece of trash by poor people for no reason, so tend to completely avoid them nowdays.

I'm think maybe that second paragraph has something to do with it. I grew up around bogans and jokingly call myself part-bogan (I say as I sip a can of bourbon, haha!). My positive experience with that type of person has prevented me from thinking negatively of them, fearing them, etc.


Can I just ask: is a "bogan" like the Aussie/NZ version of what they call "chav" in the UK?

Sorry to go off topic but I'm interested in colloquialisms and other intersections of language and culture.



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30 Jun 2018, 11:52 pm

Sorry, I have no idea what a chav is. A bogan is someone who drives modified cars with huge exhausts, blows money on stuff with no capital value then has the balls to blame middle class people they don’t even know for the fact they have no money.

Generally speaking, bogans and the middle class don’t like each other or interrelate much.

My last flat had a bogan in it and her trashy brother ransacked my bedroom because he was jealous at the fact I’ve worked hard for 10 years, saved my money and bought a place. That guy was born a loser and will die a loser, never worked a day in his life. Lost over $1000 of my possessions. It was the absolute last time I’ll give bogans a chance.

Upper class people only relate to themselves as well.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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01 Jul 2018, 12:07 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Sorry, I have no idea what a chav is. A bogan is someone who drives modified cars with huge exhausts, blows money on stuff with no capital value then has the balls to blame middle class people they don’t even know for the fact they have no money.

Generally speaking, bogans and the middle class don’t like each other or interrelate much.

My last flat had a bogan in it and her trashy brother ransacked my bedroom because he was jealous at the fact I’ve worked hard for 10 years, saved my money and bought a place. That guy was born a loser and will die a loser, never worked a day in his life. Lost over $1000 of my possessions. It was the absolute last time I’ll give bogans a chance.

Upper class people only relate to themselves as well.


From what I understand of UK slang, it sounds like their equivalent of bogan. It means an "unsophisticated" lower/working class person. The North American equivalent would probably be "white trash".



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01 Jul 2018, 2:13 am

Fnord wrote:
Booyakasha wrote:
isloth wrote:
Only one way to find out, Booyakasha go and sit at a big table in a cafe alone and see if it happens!
... i think i'd freak out ...
Aww, c'mon ... give it a try! Just once ... maybe ask some friends to sit at another table nearby as part of the 'experiment'. If things get too shaky for you, they would be right there to support you.

Whaddaya say? :D



This what would most likely happens:

1- She orders food
2- Eats her food alone, with no one bothering her.
3- Pays and leaves.

The other outcome can happen in pure coincidence; which is an unplanned bumping into friends scenario:

1-She orders food
2- A friend comes in there spots her and goes to her to say “Hiiiiii! you’re here!”; kissing her 2 or 3 times on cheek or hugging her, (that depends on culture and friend’s gender probably); on the way they may be introducing her to their friends if there are any.
3- Booya would invite them, out of being socially correct, to join her empty table and eat togother.
4- Pay and leave; or go shopping togother or something....etc

Now these 2 scenarios are things that happen every day in every city of the world on our planet Earth ; and not like the GoldFish-YellowMartin strange planet where compelete strangers would join the tables and interact with loner eaters.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 01 Jul 2018, 2:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Booyakasha
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01 Jul 2018, 2:33 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Booyakasha wrote:
isloth wrote:
Only one way to find out, Booyakasha go and sit at a big table in a cafe alone and see if it happens!
... i think i'd freak out ...
Aww, c'mon ... give it a try! Just once ... maybe ask some friends to sit at another table nearby as part of the 'experiment'. If things get too shaky for you, they would be right there to support you.

Whaddaya say? :D

This what would most likely happens:

1- She orders food
2- Eats her food alone, with no one bothering her.
3- Pays and leaves.

The other outcome can happen in pure coincidence; which is an unplanned bumping into friends scenario:

1-She orders food
2- A friend comes in there spots her and goes to her to say “Hiiiiii! you’re here!”; kissing her 2 or 3 times on cheek or hugging her, (that depends on culture and friend’s gender probably); on the way they may be introducing her to their friends if there are any.
3- Booya would invite them, out of being socially correct, to join her empty table and eat togother.
4- Pay and leave; or go shopping togother or something....etc

Now these 2 scenarios are things that happen every day in every city of the world on our planet Earth ; and not like the GoldFish-YellowMartin strange planet where compelete strangers would join the tables and interact with loner eaters.


I never had any other way, and I seriously doubt anyone else had it in the neighbouring area (and yeah, whole Balkan area and central Europe is pretty much the same).

if they did it it would cause weird looks and possibly humiliation so i doubt anyone with a bit of sense in their noggin' would consider it doing, unless they're kip/cberg kind of guys with a masochistic streak.

I ate pizza once by myself, nothing happened. I was in caffee waiting for someone a few times, nothing happened either. and it's not that i'm particularly ugly, having tentacles, overweight or especially bitchy attitude - i like to keep to myself and generally speaking i don't get bothered by anyone, unless it's some elderly people (of both genders) who feel particularly lonely and would strike a conversation even with a dog.