OK if it so impossible, how did my boyfriend find me?
A guy used to flirt with me on a bus in Auckland. Non-verbally though. But if I'd sat next to him I doubt he would have complained
That isn’t very common. In big town New Zealand, people are extremely passive aggressive and unfriendly.
Many Americans I talk to don’t understand how people can be such a***holes.
Small towns are nicer, there is more of a community feel.
Although I am not particularly a people person, I will always say hello to people and ask them about their day. It’s not common. I’m the only person at work who says good morning to everyone as they walk in and past my desk.
That is interesting. I lived and worked there for 9 months and I do remember when I said I found the people friendly, I'd get told Auckland is actually the least friendly city in NZ. So I figured elsewhere they must be amazingly nice!
A guy used to flirt with me on a bus in Auckland. Non-verbally though. But if I'd sat next to him I doubt he would have complained
That isn’t very common. In big town New Zealand, people are extremely passive aggressive and unfriendly.
Many Americans I talk to don’t understand how people can be such a***holes.
Small towns are nicer, there is more of a community feel.
Although I am not particularly a people person, I will always say hello to people and ask them about their day. It’s not common. I’m the only person at work who says good morning to everyone as they walk in and past my desk.
That is interesting. I lived and worked there for 9 months and I do remember when I said I found the people friendly, I'd get told Auckland is actually the least friendly city in NZ. So I figured elsewhere they must be amazingly nice!
Rural South Island you will find the friendliest people. Then rural North Island. In big cities people are just left to die. No one cares about you and noone is nice to you. It’s all drugs, money, ego and sycophants in a place like Auckland.
I’m always pretty shocked when people say New Zealanders are friendly.
A guy used to flirt with me on a bus in Auckland. Non-verbally though. But if I'd sat next to him I doubt he would have complained
That isn’t very common. In big town New Zealand, people are extremely passive aggressive and unfriendly.
Many Americans I talk to don’t understand how people can be such a***holes.
Small towns are nicer, there is more of a community feel.
Although I am not particularly a people person, I will always say hello to people and ask them about their day. It’s not common. I’m the only person at work who says good morning to everyone as they walk in and past my desk.
That is interesting. I lived and worked there for 9 months and I do remember when I said I found the people friendly, I'd get told Auckland is actually the least friendly city in NZ. So I figured elsewhere they must be amazingly nice!
Rural South Island you will find the friendliest people. Then rural North Island. In big cities people are just left to die. No one cares about you and noone is nice to you. It’s all drugs, money, ego and sycophants in a place like Auckland.
I’m always pretty shocked when people say New Zealanders are friendly.
Maybe it's cos I was foreign then? Some nice guys let me rent a room in their house without even meeting me yet, we got along great and I dated one for a while. People at work were friendly and supportive, and I hung out with some of them outside of work which is pretty rare for me. I remember going for a walk in my local area and being shocked that a young (female) adult actually smiled and said hi when we passed each other. I felt safe. It was good. Geez now I want to move back to NZ!
first you say that no amount of convincing can convince them, then you say that in case you manage to convince them you'll have achieved something worthwhile.
if they can't be convinced why bother convincing? how many have you managed to convince anyway?
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
families with little kids or large groups of annoying teens who never shut up during the movie.
You've never seen strangers chatting to each other in public, either.
My conclusion: People who are unsatisfied with the way things are where they live need to move to Australia.
I did see strangers chatting to each other in public, like in buses and taxis.
But the scenarios you and goldish provided are very odd.
For example goldfish claims that it’s SO common for guys to chat and attempt to sit with a stranger girl eating alone in cafe or restaurant.
Like imagine I see a girl alone in cafe, and I go to her and tell her: “hey can I join?”
....
This is so f*****g weird. I have never seen it happens, therefore I will never do it. It’s simply not socially acceptable in my area and in all the countries I visited so far.
Don't twist my words. It's entirely dependent on the setting & the scenario. If a girl is sitting alone at a table for two, it's weird and inappropriate to go invite yourself to sit in the other seat. When she's sitting alone at a table for 10 that's designed for random guests to sit at & meet/chat have their coffee etc, it's not really that weird for someone to ask if it's alright to sit by her & then strike up a conversation.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
families with little kids or large groups of annoying teens who never shut up during the movie.
You've never seen strangers chatting to each other in public, either.
My conclusion: People who are unsatisfied with the way things are where they live need to move to Australia.
I did see strangers chatting to each other in public, like in buses and taxis.
But the scenarios you and goldish provided are very odd.
For example goldfish claims that it’s SO common for guys to chat and attempt to sit with a stranger girl eating alone in cafe or restaurant.
Like imagine I see a girl alone in cafe, and I go to her and tell her: “hey can I join?”
....
This is so f*****g weird. I have never seen it happens, therefore I will never do it. It’s simply not socially acceptable in my area and in all the countries I visited so far.
Don't twist my words. It's entirely dependent on the setting & the scenario. If a girl is sitting alone at a table for two, it's weird and inappropriate to go invite yourself to sit in the other seat. When she's sitting alone at a table for 10 that's designed for random guests to sit at & meet/chat have their coffee etc, it's not really that weird for someone to ask if it's alright to sit by her & then strike up a conversation.
I am not twisting your words , YOU are the one who’s withdrawing from what you said before.
and we talked about the cafe scenario too.
You made it sound that it’s so natural that people all the time ask out and meet in streets. And you didn’t clarify any specific settings.
And you were like “wow how don’t you know that??” as if I am so socially inept who’s living under a rock.
Honestly I thought you were being totally crazy who lives on another planet.
I can fetch your older posts and quote them one by one here.
Still, a table for 5 or 10 doesn’t mean you can invite yourself to join with the stranger girl.
And clearly we were not talking about pubs and bars.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
families with little kids or large groups of annoying teens who never shut up during the movie.
You've never seen strangers chatting to each other in public, either.
My conclusion: People who are unsatisfied with the way things are where they live need to move to Australia.
I did see strangers chatting to each other in public, like in buses and taxis.
But the scenarios you and goldish provided are very odd.
For example goldfish claims that it’s SO common for guys to chat and attempt to sit with a stranger girl eating alone in cafe or restaurant.
Like imagine I see a girl alone in cafe, and I go to her and tell her: “hey can I join?”
....
This is so f*****g weird. I have never seen it happens, therefore I will never do it. It’s simply not socially acceptable in my area and in all the countries I visited so far.
Don't twist my words. It's entirely dependent on the setting & the scenario. If a girl is sitting alone at a table for two, it's weird and inappropriate to go invite yourself to sit in the other seat. When she's sitting alone at a table for 10 that's designed for random guests to sit at & meet/chat have their coffee etc, it's not really that weird for someone to ask if it's alright to sit by her & then strike up a conversation.
I am not twisting your words , YOU are the one who’s withdrawing from what you said before.
and we talked about the cafe scenario too.
You made it sound that it’s so natural that people all the time ask out and meet in streets. And you didn’t clarify any specific settings.
And you were like “wow how don’t you know that??” as if I am so socially inept who’s living under a rock.
Honestly I thought you were being totally crazy who lives on another planet.
I can fetch your older posts and quote them one by one here.
Still, a table for 5 or 10 doesn’t mean you can invite yourself to join with the stranger girl.
And clearly we were not talking about pubs and bars.
It does happen every damned day in every city on the planet!
It's simply not ALL interactions between people. But way more than zero!
And, yes, even when a girl IS sitting alone at a table for two at a cafe - some confident NT guy might like her and decide to hit on her, if she responds positiively, boom, they're having a conversation, possibly exchanging contact information.
I even provided the real life example of my cousin who met his wife after seeing her at a busy bus stop area and then returning to the same place every day around the same time until he saw her again and was able to go talk to her. They're married and have a baby daughter now.
Just because you're not privy to people's conversations doesn't mean they haven't just met in public moments before & that isn't their first conversation together. It happens. You're simply oblivious to it & may not have the social skills or abilities to do it yourself is all.
_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
families with little kids or large groups of annoying teens who never shut up during the movie.
You've never seen strangers chatting to each other in public, either.
My conclusion: People who are unsatisfied with the way things are where they live need to move to Australia.
I did see strangers chatting to each other in public, like in buses and taxis.
But the scenarios you and goldish provided are very odd.
For example goldfish claims that it’s SO common for guys to chat and attempt to sit with a stranger girl eating alone in cafe or restaurant.
Like imagine I see a girl alone in cafe, and I go to her and tell her: “hey can I join?”
....
This is so f*****g weird. I have never seen it happens, therefore I will never do it. It’s simply not socially acceptable in my area and in all the countries I visited so far.
Don't twist my words. It's entirely dependent on the setting & the scenario. If a girl is sitting alone at a table for two, it's weird and inappropriate to go invite yourself to sit in the other seat. When she's sitting alone at a table for 10 that's designed for random guests to sit at & meet/chat have their coffee etc, it's not really that weird for someone to ask if it's alright to sit by her & then strike up a conversation.
I am not twisting your words , YOU are the one who’s withdrawing from what you said before.
and we talked about the cafe scenario too.
You made it sound that it’s so natural that people all the time ask out and meet in streets. And you didn’t clarify any specific settings.
And you were like “wow how don’t you know that??” as if I am so socially inept who’s living under a rock.
Honestly I thought you were being totally crazy who lives on another planet.
I can fetch your older posts and quote them one by one here.
Still, a table for 5 or 10 doesn’t mean you can invite yourself to join with the stranger girl.
And clearly we were not talking about pubs and bars.
It does happen every damned day in every city on the planet!
It's simply not ALL interactions between people. But way more than zero!
And, yes, even when a girl IS sitting alone at a table for two at a cafe - some confident NT guy might like her and decide to hit on her, if she responds positiively, boom, they're having a conversation, possibly exchanging contact information.
I even provided the real life example of my cousin who met his wife after seeing her at a busy bus stop area and then returning to the same place every day around the same time until he saw her again and was able to go talk to her. They're married and have a baby daughter now.
Just because you're not privy to people's conversations doesn't mean they haven't just met in public moments before & that isn't their first conversation together. It happens. You're simply oblivious to it & may not have the social skills or abilities to do it yourself is all.
Are you talking about this planet?
Only one way to find out, Booyakasha go and sit at a big table in a cafe alone and see if it happens! jk
Personally, I believe that it does happen, although I think that it happens a lot less than tv shows and dating advice would lead you to believe. I also do not imagine doing something like that myself, primarily because I find it hard talk to anyone unless I have an express reason forcing me to. Also, I don't think it would be nearly as successful if it was a guy sitting there alone (and I refuse to test it).
_________________
After years of self-imposed exile. I am now making an effort to talk to people. So anyone feel free to PM me on any subject, I would love to try to interact with people more!
Those same people will ask for advice, dismiss each suggestion (whether they've tried it or not), and then blame everything and everybody except themselves for their failure to connect.
"Oh, but girls have it easy ... all they have to do is show up!"
"I'm so damned ugly that if ugly was a crime, I'd get the electric chair!"
"God doesn't want me to have a girlfriend!"
"It's those <insert profane adjective here>-ing <insert misogynist epithet here> and their <insert profane adjective here>-ing high standards!"
"I can't get a girlfriend because no one will give me a job!"
"If only Sharia Law was in force; then they would HAVE to put out for me!"
... yeah ... sure, guys ... whatever ...
Well put, Fnord! Good to see someone keeping it real in this section.
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
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Good to see the mods and I are on the same page!
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Whaddaya say?
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