OK if it so impossible, how did my boyfriend find me?

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Twilightprincess
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09 Jul 2018, 8:54 am

I think the key is to remain positive. I know more adult Aspies in relationships than ones who aren’t. If you’re negative all the time, people won’t want to be around you.

It helps to work on social skills, too, so you can learn appropriate ways to attract a potential love interest. You don’t want to be too aloof or too clingy. He or she would think you don’t care or are desperate/creepy.



Fnord
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09 Jul 2018, 9:14 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
I think the key is to remain positive. I know more adult Aspies in relationships than ones who aren’t. If you’re negative all the time, people won’t want to be around you.
:wtg: Like!

Twilightprincess wrote:
It helps to work on social skills, too, so you can learn appropriate ways to attract a potential love interest. You don’t want to be too aloof or too clingy. He or she would think you don’t care or are desperate/creepy.
:wtg: Like!


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jimmy m
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09 Jul 2018, 9:16 am

Sweetleaf said "we both have each others backs". This is a key point for any successful relationship.


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Twilightprincess
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09 Jul 2018, 9:38 am

jimmy m wrote:
Sweetleaf said "we both have each others backs". This is a key point for any successful relationship.


I think it’s also a good idea to try to be friends first. If you try to get someone to jump into a relationship right off the bat, you’ll seem desperate and that’s not very flattering.

Approach someone like they’re a person and potential friend not just a love interest. After all, if it works out and you wind up together, it’s nice to have a solid foundation of friendship, so you can be there for each other.



The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jul 2018, 11:08 am

Fnord wrote:
Jono wrote:
Anecdotal cases like yours don't prove that it's not difficult for other people...
True, but it does more-or-less prove that finding someone is possible ... at least, more possible than finding someone through spamming websites with innumerable threads on the topic of "I Can't Get a Girlfriend" ... :roll:



I don’t ever recall Jono did such threads or any complaining posts, he was one of the more positive members before.

But there are some observable realities no one can’t deny, no matter how much you bash struggling guys here.



Fnord
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09 Jul 2018, 1:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jono wrote:
Anecdotal cases like yours don't prove that it's not difficult for other people...
True, but it does more-or-less prove that finding someone is possible ... at least, more possible than finding someone through spamming websites with innumerable threads on the topic of "I Can't Get a Girlfriend" ... :roll:
I don’t ever recall Jono did such threads or any complaining posts, he was one of the more positive members before.
I don't ever recall saying that Jono had ever done any such thing, either.
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But there are some observable realities no one can’t deny, no matter how much you bash struggling guys here.
Pointing out the obvious is not bashing -- there are people whose every thread (it seems) is related to their lack of social skills and the resulting angst, when posting just ONE thread on the topic is really all that's needed.

But, hey ... I don't make the rules, so if they want to spam the website, then let the mods deal with them.


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yellowtamarin
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09 Jul 2018, 8:31 pm

Jono wrote:
Anecdotal cases like yours don't prove that it's not difficult for other people. Besides, I find that on sites like WP, female members seem more likely to find a partner than the men, consider how many men claim that they can't find a partner compared to the women.

Jono! Blast from the past :)

I think you could use similar logic to say it might just be that more men complain or comment about their struggles finding partners, than women do (on WP). Also there is just a higher number of males than females in here.