Just because you're single doesn't mean you're loveless.

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Perhaps you didn't notice that you were the one who started the animosity.

I will not respond to any of your provocations anymore after this merely because I see that some nice people want to be back on thread, otherwise I'd have no problem going on calling out your bs for the next 50 years.

no, i don't even know your name i didn't know we were friends lol

some other friend

But, knowing what I know now, and knowing there's been extended periods where I haven't had a sex drive and thus didn't bother having sex (different than wanting it and not getting it, I realize) and having more life experience.. I'm more of the mindset of one of my high school friends back then who said "It's just sex." As in, "So what? Who cares? It's a thing. It happens. People enjoy it. BUT, it's not everything." Easy for someone to say who's having sex vs. someone who isn't, but Truly, I now see his point. Once you've passed that point of virginity stress/pressure, and especially if you've had a lot of sex whether with one significant other or multiple partners, while it's still sex and still a very pleasurable human experience, it just becomes.. not something that you put up on on such a pedestal anymore. It's not THAT big of deal anymore and you're way better able to focus on other things in life worthy of your time & energy, whether that's a special interest or hobby or volunteer work or sports or whatever - there's PLENTY more to life than sex. I know, I know, easier said than done for the mindset of someone who is involuntarily celibate.. but if there is one thing I could teach someone who is involuntarily celibate to do if I were able, it would be that. So that they could genuinely enjoy themselves and their lives w/o the nagging feeling that they want to get laid but can't seem to pull it off.

Unfortunately, the only way to reach that state, is after having sex enough times to treat as a closed chapter in life.

Nope, hurtloam is a rational one - never saw her in a fit of rage. Tora’s post did sound sexist.

Thanks. I appreciate that.

I'd like to add that this forum has also helped me see things better from a man's point of view when it comes to dating and I really do think that's helped me be more understanding... but there's a line.

[Hmm, I wouldn't call it a "closed chapter," more like... "level unlocked," - and you can go back and play it anytime you want to - if you want to, but at least you've achieved it kind of thing.

Some of us require said better reason(s) in the first place.

Oh sorry I didn't think Aspie1 or I was implying that, to me it's more a matter of needing lots of time around someone before I even go near the subject.

You're right. I'm not the type who needs to get to know the woman well before having sex with her. I never was. It's just that back in my 20's, sex felt hot, interesting, and exciting, every single time. Today in my 30's, the idea of sex feels disgusting, both escort and free. I don't even like kissing anymore, unless I'm really drunk. The only interactions with women I still enjoy are hugs, holding hands, and dancing.

That said, my mindset is hard to understand if you haven't had a lot of sex in your young years. I don't mean to rub it in anyone's face. But my statement still stands.

^ Alrighty,

Yesterday was my birthday, so I didn't feel like delving into forum drama.

Upon review, the thread in question appears to have gotten itself back-on-track, so I'm letting it stand (for now). As for who started what, there are no innocent parties. Everyone contributed in some way to the brouhaha in some fashion, so I suggest everyone get over their collective butthurt.

That is all.

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