Holy ***** the aspie girl said yes to a date!

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ehymw
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04 Jul 2018, 6:55 pm

We're going for ice cream this saturday.

What things are good to ask or talking about with an aspie girl on a first date?

I know she's got an educational background in media, she's liberal, and works in insurance.

Any ideas meant to help me are welcome.



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jul 2018, 7:15 pm

You could ask her about her background in media. It might be a special interest of hers. Aspies, like me, tend to love talking about their special interests.

She’d probably love talking about her liberal views, too, but I’d be careful when it comes to talking about politics.


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Chummy
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04 Jul 2018, 7:19 pm

Congratz friend!

As cliche as it is, be yourself - Because if you're going to form a serious relationship you'll want to make the best first impression which is extremely important in any case. Other than that show true empathy. Show that you're interested to get to know her, and try to get in the mood. See if you like her and if you think you may want to continue dating her. Also try to think of a follow up, for example, after ice cream maybe go to a walk together or do something else to close the day, depends on what's planned, locations nearby and you guys' schedule.



ehymw
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07 Jul 2018, 5:16 pm

The date went....well.

We didn't call it a date but she let me buy her ice-cream, neither of us wanted it to end, and we agreed we should get together again.

I've never been on a "date" with someone I had only met once prior to the event and I have no idea how a second date works.

Help?



BeaArthur
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07 Jul 2018, 10:46 pm

First date is coffee, a dessert, an ice cream, etc.

Second date is dinner at a "nice" (but not opulent) place. Or variations on that theme. It can also be cooking dinner for her, IF you are a decent cook and IF that isn't rushing her. But Aspies can sometimes misjudge whether that's rushing her.

But if you are both intellectuals, you can take her to an interesting lecture or film festival and then a bite to eat afterward.

Be alert to body language. If she "leans in" for a kiss and you ignore it, you're toast. But it might not be anything that obvious. Blushing, smiling, lots of eye contact, light (but not sexual) touches, are all signs of interest.

Most important, have fun. That way you can't lose. If things progress, it's probably because she thought you are fun. If things don't progress, at least you had a good time!


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RetroGamer87
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07 Jul 2018, 11:53 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
Be alert to body language. If she "leans in" for a kiss and you ignore it, you're toast. But it might not be anything that obvious. Blushing, smiling, lots of eye contact, light (but not sexual) touches, are all signs of interest.
Quite right! I remember one time four years ago I was on a date and I missed the signs she wanted to kiss me, or more correctly, I spotted the signs and recognised them but I wasn't absolutely sure about them. The next day she said she thought I didn't like her (because in her mind, I'd declined her invitation to kiss). Anyway don't wait for a signed and laminated invitation.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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17 Jul 2018, 12:32 pm

Has a second date been scheduled between you and her?


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