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sorrowfairiewhisper
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21 Aug 2018, 10:34 am

Magpie_01 wrote:
Hi everyone,

I'm back. It's been a long time since I logged into the forum but I need to get something off my chest ... how do you cope with severe social isolation? I have no social contacts at work (I have a part-time job as a research assistant at a big public university) and because my other job (writing my PhD thesis) takes almost all of my time and energy I have almost nothing left. I almost finished my first year of my PhD and it's been incredibly hard socially - I have no social contacts outside of work. I don't know how other people do it ... everyone at my research group and at work is so good at making new friends and going out for drinks which I can't do (can't drink due to my epilepsy). I feel incredibly alone in this. :( I've attended a few support groups for autistic people but no one there is my age (I'm 28) and I don't have a lot in common with the people there. I just don't know what to do - I have a hard time socializing due to my Asperger's and the more I stay alone in my flat the more autistic I get, it's a vicious circle and it hurts.

Lea


Hi Magpie,

Like you, i too am 28 years old and i have no social contacts either. I understand exactly how you feel. Have you thought about enquiring about any meet up groups or groups that may of interest you?



Summer_Twilight
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22 Aug 2018, 11:58 am

Magpie_01 wrote:
Thank you for your kind words! :)

I like guest lectures a lot better. It's less of an event, more like a regular class and you usually have something to talk about/discuss. However I do find it difficult to use guest lectures as a way to find friends - when the lecture is over I usually leave immediately because I'm overwhelmed.


That is where you are going to really grow and benefit from. You also could consider volunteering at conferences or doing poster presentations because that is where your work is going to be sold.



superaliengirl
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22 Aug 2018, 12:20 pm

I've been there i've only had friends for about 2 years and i'm over 20. At jobs i've had I haven't made any friends either. People do say things to me and I guess they're trying to start a conversation but I really can't tell because I don't know how to and I don't know how you carry on a conversation with a stranger so I just reply very short and then I don't say anything else and I genuinely never know if I should've said more or not so yeah making friends in person is not even an option for me.

I go online to make friends. It's a lot easier even though it's still difficult and awkward but you can take your time to think of what to say and once you meet up you're no longer strangers so it's easier to talk.



ck990
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26 Aug 2018, 1:18 am

I don't cope since I have zero friends and I am involuntary friendless.

I rarely cry about it. But I I feel dysphoric. I feel lonely from time to time, depending on situation.

I am unhappy and dysphoric, but I am not depressed. It surprises me that I am not depressed yet.


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The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.


ilovehumanitybuthatepeople
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 28 Aug 2018
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28 Aug 2018, 6:07 pm

Loneliness is considered a public health crisis even “normal” people are lonely.

Most “normal” people are dysfunctional. Most “normal” people are emotionally unhealthy. Most “normal” people have a healthy sense of distrust of others until trust is earned.

i would go with them to the bar and just drink water. I don’t drink either.

Yes, all I need is one true friend. Regular socializing is okay, but it doesn’t fill my love tank the same way. I go to support groups. People are accepting and nice. I don’t have to worry about putting my mask on.



Magpie_01
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22 Sep 2018, 7:59 am

superaliengirl wrote:
I've been there i've only had friends for about 2 years and i'm over 20. At jobs i've had I haven't made any friends either. People do say things to me and I guess they're trying to start a conversation but I really can't tell because I don't know how to and I don't know how you carry on a conversation with a stranger so I just reply very short and then I don't say anything else and I genuinely never know if I should've said more or not so yeah making friends in person is not even an option for me.

I go online to make friends. It's a lot easier even though it's still difficult and awkward but you can take your time to think of what to say and once you meet up you're no longer strangers so it's easier to talk.


That's exactly how I feel! At work I see colleagues socializing and bonding so quickly and I never know how they do it. It looks so different from what I do even when I copy phrases and behaviors. It just doesn't feel natural to me. :( Lately I've been feeling I'm getting more autistic which is probably due to stress or maybe I can't compensate as well anymore. That doubles the loneliness - I simply can't go out on my own anymore, can't go to shopping centers or go out for drinks, I'm melting down so quickly these days. :oops:


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Diagnoses: Asperger's Syndrome, Epilepsy