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hobojungle
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04 Aug 2018, 12:19 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
generalization


Do you have any evidence that I made a generalization?

Hint – I can disregard the bulk of your message and ask you questions meant to waste your time and make you look bad, too.

Indeed.

Here’s another hint to go along with that one — L&D is not really a good place to try to apply rigorous logic to try to prove a point or discredit someone else. Love and romantic relationships are largely emotionally driven, strongly biased by what we WANT versus what IS. It’s the equivalent of placing scientific equipment in some sort of “maze of mirrors” where even the physics of the mirrors is dynamic. You do better taking a psychological approach, assessing actual behavior and deconstructing some causality rather than going all syllogistic.

Spiderpig is doing precisely that, basing conclusions on observed behavior and proposing a hypothesis. He’s asked a question, perhaps only rhetorical, that backs up his conclusion. If he is wrong and you can demonstrate an alternative explanation, please do so.


Point taken about arguing in l&d.



XFilesGeek
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04 Aug 2018, 1:15 pm

[MOD]

Stop it with the, "Women are terrible!" generalizations.

Thanks.

[/MOD]


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Booyakasha
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04 Aug 2018, 3:59 pm

Katie0405 wrote:
I can't seem to shake off the feeling that I'm just his number two priority, next to his work.


just curious - do you put him first? would you drop your work/study/anything very important to you because of him?



Ecomatt91
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04 Aug 2018, 5:34 pm

I am with kraftiekortie on this. I am not blaming OP but there a lot to learn about understanding priorities. Some days priorities change but work/job always come first individually. The relationship between two people is equal. OP I highly recommend you to speak to him about managing priorities. Your view on his compatibility being with you is incredible, and that is super rare from a NT women seeing Aspie males generally.

Look at world leaders, presidents, prime ministers and that. They all have partners and have HUGE jobs. No problem with them. They work hard for their lives, and together. This grows relationship healthy wise. I recommend, OP to discover herself on things to do while your partner get busy. You have a life too, so you better use it too.

Couples around the world aren't always super glued together 24/7. Every human being are individuals. They have their own lives. Balancing between individualism and being in a couple is very important for a long term relationship.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Aug 2018, 5:44 pm

Let’s put it in this perspective:

- If he loses his job: He may lose his house, his car, his purpose in life, he may even die from hunger. And may even lose his relationship with you because you probably won’t stick with an unemployed guy for long.

- If he loses you, he just loses you.



goldfish21
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05 Aug 2018, 2:49 pm

Depends why his work is so important to him. If he’s working double shifts to count coins managing some fast food joint, he needs a wake up call. If he’s pursuing his career passion/growing his own business, nothing you say will stop him, so the best you can do is accept it for what it is Or breakup with him.

One of my closest friends wife’s biggest complaint about him is the insane amount of hours he works vs spending time with her and their kids. I would literally play with his kids (my God kids, I wanted to/it wasn’t a burden) while he worked away in the next room many, many, times. Several years later and he has a bit better balance of family time now.

It’s a difficult thing to balance.. sure, he works a Lot, buuuut they’re going to be multimillionaires for it inside of the next 5 years with all of his company’s new products about to launch worldwide. I doubt she complains about all the brand new cars etc and the Very good life they’re going to be able to live and provide for their children. But ya, actual family time is Very important, too.. but it seems women like to complain that a guy works too many hours, but not about spending the money he’s out there making. Just my thoughts on it.


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Spiderpig
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05 Aug 2018, 6:12 pm

Of course—he should be able to make the same working less.


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RetroGamer87
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13 Aug 2018, 12:48 am

Good. It sounds like he's the responsible sort of guy who gets paid a lot.


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Closet Genious
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13 Aug 2018, 3:51 am

Women are terrible! :P



goldfish21
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13 Aug 2018, 7:14 am

Closet Genious wrote:
Women are terrible! :P


Heterosexual problems, IMO. :P


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XFilesGeek
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13 Aug 2018, 8:28 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Women are terrible! :P


Heterosexual problems, IMO. :P


I got 99 problems, but a d_ck ain't one.


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kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2018, 9:22 am

The only problem with having a dick....is the fact that I must keep it from the zipper when I put on my trousers.



RetroGamer87
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13 Aug 2018, 9:49 pm

And when in the kitchen you have to be extra carefull not to cook yourself


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13 Aug 2018, 11:44 pm

I co-own my own business and for 9 months of the year I work anywhere from 100 hrs a week down to 40, the rest of the year could be 20 a week, or 0. I have no time for anything and cannot hand work to the employees that I have due to how stupid and incompetent they really are. I am scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as humans go. I also have Aspergers (self diag.) ocd and probably something else. Live at home because it is how I can keep the business running. Too many contracts come in (ocd keeps me in demand) and not enough workers. I get workers, then make sure that I have plenty of work so that they have hours, they leave if they feel it’s too hard or they suck and I fire them, then I have to take up their slack to keep customers happy. It is never ending. I have had 4 days off since April, and if 8 end early on some nights, I have my own hobby’s that I do to relax. I have come to the realization that I need to raise my prices as much as I can, and hope to find some consistent employees, or I will never have time.

So I have given up on trying and hoping to meet someone. Between all the work, Aspergers, etc. it’s not going to happen. I only went on 2 or 3 dates ever in my life and have zero experience with relationships anyways, so it doesn’t matter. Extreme shyness is also in the mix. I regret starting a business, I could have been a 9-5 paper pusher with benefits and been better. Of well, maybe in the next life.....oh wait, I don’t think we get do-overs.



AngelRho
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15 Aug 2018, 4:48 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
And when in the kitchen you have to be extra carefull not to cook yourself

I’m sorry WHAT??? lol

If you have to be extra careful in the kitchen for THAT, you’re doing it wrong.