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One thing I noticed on Dating Websites

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The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Jul 2018, 3:05 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Honestly I noticed that the majority of them are a hive mind.
Do you mean it's something everyone puts on because everyone else puts it on? I think that's very likely.

I don't find men any less hive minded that women on anything important. I guess it's all evolution/survival of the species stuff.


Yes, the content of the profiles, the complains, the 'how there are no good men' , the poses, the Instagram filters, the duckface (in the recent past), ...etc

Pictures aside, it's what they talk about that I find most eerily deja vu, like deja vu hundred of times before.



yellowtamarin
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31 Jul 2018, 11:01 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
For 'a good sense of humour' read 'the same sense of humour'.

Yeah this is basically all there is to it.



Magna
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01 Aug 2018, 12:04 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
^That's a really good point. I only laugh if it's funny.


Me too. I've never been to a live comedy show, but I'd be an absolutely terrible audience member at one. I watch comedy shows on TV sometimes and I'm stone faced and emotionless through most of them and only occasionally laugh or smile at a joke because most of the time I don't think the majority of the jokes are funny enough to elicit a laugh response. I'm kind of baffled when it seems like most all audience members of comedy shows laugh and every little thing. I don't get that.

I have to say, maybe it's me being a guy, but I also find some toilet humor funny. The first time I saw the Dumb and Dumber scene with Jeff Daniel's character using a toilet due to an uncontrollable intestinal issue and finding out the toilet is broken, no sound was coming out I was laughing so hard..... I've had similar digestive issues in my life that required emergency action so relating to something like that probably makes it funny to me too.



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01 Aug 2018, 12:31 am

a good sense of humor is an easy fill-in-the-blank preference on a lot of bio's

i guess a lot of people are looking for variations of the same thing



Chronos
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01 Aug 2018, 12:40 am

jimmy m wrote:
There is one thing that struck me as strange on dating websites. One of the most cited qualities that a girl/woman desires in a man is "a good sense of humor".

Now in general, one of the traits exhibited by Aspies is "a lack of humor". It is almost a keyword in weeding out the Aspies from pool of acceptable candidates.


She doesn't mean tell funny jokes. What she means is she wants a man who doesn't have a temper and who is positive and forgiving.



jimmy m
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01 Aug 2018, 7:05 am

Chronos wrote:
She doesn't mean tell funny jokes. What she means is she wants a man who doesn't have a temper and who is positive and forgiving.


Ah! So it is a function of saying one thing and meaning another. I would have never guessed!

When I think of "someone who has a sense of humor" I automatically think of the boys that made fun of me, who told jokes about me before they beat the living crap out of me. Those boys definitely had a temper, they were not positive and they were definitely not forgiving. You never crossed them. So the literal interpretation of the phase excludes me but the actual meaning is inclusive.


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Spiderpig
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01 Aug 2018, 8:54 am

I wouldn't take for granted beating the living crap out of me necessarily means the person isn't widely regarded as "positive" by others.


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hobojungle
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01 Aug 2018, 8:59 am

jimmy m wrote:
There is one thing that struck me as strange on dating websites.


Only one thing? You’re lucky. :lol:



jimmy m
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01 Aug 2018, 9:48 am

Spiderpig wrote:
I wouldn't take for granted beating the living crap out of me necessarily means the person isn't widely regarded as "positive" by others.


Ah! But is that really what a woman wants - someone who will beat the crap out of someone else. Because what happens when she becomes the someone else.


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hobojungle
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01 Aug 2018, 10:04 am

^No wonder you do so well with the ladies.



fluffysaurus
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01 Aug 2018, 1:25 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
I wouldn't take for granted beating the living crap out of me necessarily means the person isn't widely regarded as "positive" by others.
It is odd what other people consider positive traits. I don't think many adult women would be impressed with a guy beating someone up for no reason but some definitely can't tell the difference between confidence and arrogance.


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Spiderpig
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01 Aug 2018, 2:03 pm

jimmy m wrote:
Ah! But is that really what a woman wants - someone who will beat the crap out of someone else. Because what happens when she becomes the someone else.


Bullies know whom to bully, and for most people, not becoming a target is a trivial endeavor. They don't need to fear sharing our fate.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure most women would much rather be with the one who beats others up than with the one who gets beaten up.


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Spiderpig
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01 Aug 2018, 2:07 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
It is odd what other people consider positive traits. I don't think many adult women would be impressed with a guy beating someone up for no reason but some definitely can't tell the difference between confidence and arrogance.


Oh, but most people always have very good reasons for doing whatever they do.


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08 Aug 2018, 7:15 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
As you've noticed here, Aspies (and classical autistic people) frequently happen to have a robust sense of humor.


Not to brag, buuut, I know I do - and I credit AS for my specific type and timing of humour. If it weren’t for AS + impulsive speech I wouldn’t have the lightning fast witty responses to things that have resulted in others damned near falling over laughing. Seriously, I’ve told some REALLY good ones that just NAILED IT right in the moment - faster than any NT thinks is possible to come up with & say; which is part of why I get the lolz; there’s hardly a heartbeat between the situation & my punchline.

One carpenter I worked with one said “You ALWAYS have something funny to say! :D” Annnnd I crack jokes with the poorest of the poor and the Ultra wealthy and their families all just the same. 8)


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Chronos
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08 Aug 2018, 3:33 pm

jimmy m wrote:
Chronos wrote:
She doesn't mean tell funny jokes. What she means is she wants a man who doesn't have a temper and who is positive and forgiving.


Ah! So it is a function of saying one thing and meaning another. I would have never guessed!

When I think of "someone who has a sense of humor" I automatically think of the boys that made fun of me, who told jokes about me before they beat the living crap out of me. Those boys definitely had a temper, they were not positive and they were definitely not forgiving. You never crossed them. So the literal interpretation of the phase excludes me but the actual meaning is inclusive.


Yes. It took me a while to figure out as well.



biostructure
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09 Aug 2018, 2:08 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
That's a sort of a variation on the "No Soap Radio" sort of joke, which my brother tortured me with when I was a kid.

It's meant to be nonsensical.

Like: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

answer: "No soap radio!"


I looked up "no soap radio", and it was interesting. Apparently the idea of it is that it's not funny, but if it's told as if it were a joke, people will laugh because they feel they are supposed to, socially speaking. Us aspies are less likely to react out of perceived appropriateness in this way--however if I myself am any guide, we are quite a bit more likely to actually find something random and illogical genuinely funny, just because of the mere fact that it is random.

Years ago, I had the idea that it would be funny to walk along the street with someone, randomly look around a corner while appearing to be surprised by something, and exclaim "Pumpkin logic!". I didn't actually do it, but the point is that the idea of saying something so nonsensical is hilarious for me to think about. I had no idea that there were actual jokes based around saying random stuff like this--I thought such an idea was simply a product of my silly aspie mind. So if I wasn't caught up in thinking I was supposed to understand them, I'd have found many of the "no soap radio" jokes genuinely funny.