For those who are wondering I am now in a relationship....

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...sort of.

The important thing is we've made our feelings crystal clear and we have the same feelings.

My darling aspie girl has even confessed to having idle fantasies about having kids with me and I've confessed to having entertained fantasies of proposing to her.

We both know we shouldn't be having such thoughts so soon and yet we're both having them.

The harder we examine each other for relationship ending flaws the more we find nothing but compatibility.

We're trying ney PLANNING to take things slowly but we're also planning to take a day trip this weekend.

O boy, babies already?

It was an idle thought she told me she had in response to any future questions of how we met.

She didn't even say the words kids and she didn't need to.

We're both mortified we're feeling so much so fast.

We are careful people who plan ahead but every single thing seems to be saying we're right for each other.

I've even met her parents and like them.

We're making a point of not having sex any time soon and there is no way in hell I would propose to her in less than half a year.

In fact I might need to know her two years.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me here, but moving fast is just fine AS LONG AS you already know each other well enough.

If you’ve been seriously dating, and I mean you BOTH are serious, 3 months is plenty long enough before you propose. If you’re more comfortable waiting it out 6 months, well...PERSONALLY I think that’s risky, but I suppose it’s best you take the time to really get to know each other and be SURE this is what you both want.

Once you do propose, don’t draw it out any longer than you have to. I think you do need a solid year MINIMUM to get the hard stuff worked out. If you’re ever going to have fights in your relationship, this is when it needs to happen. How close to your inlaws do you want to live? What are you going to do about intimacy, children, joint bank account, debt (does she like credit cards? If yes, RUN!! ! And are you prepared to take responsibility to the debts she brings with her into the marriage?), and religion?

Getting married and staying married is actually fairly uncomplicated. It’s really a question of what you allow INTO your marriage that messes things up. Meddling inlaws, gossip about your spouse, spending habits, emergencies. The more extraneous junk you keep out of your relationship, the easier it will be. The difficulty is in resisting the temptation to bring all that outside stuff in. Like having that extra bank account so she can’t see what you’re doing with the money you’re SUPPOSED to be sharing together as a family, or when she applies for a credit card so she won’t have to be accountable to you for shopping she’s uncomfortable with you knowing about (WHY would this make her uncomfortable?). If something feels weird to either of you, you shouldn’t do it.

There’s a lot to think about. So you take your time while engaged to make sure either financially you’re rock solid or, IF NOT, whether financial problems are something you’re prepared to live with, deal with, and plan for. Be on the same page with intimacy/babies. Religion is a sensitive area for some people, so are you in agreement or have middle ground that appeals to you both? And there are any number of other things unique to you to consider.

If you’re struggling with anything after being together 1-2 years, it’s best to part on good terms and move on before taking the next step. Marriage is easy to get into. Getting OUT can be a little tricky. So no matter what advice I give or what anyone else says, BE ABSOLUTELY SURE this is the right thing for you.

I mentioned possible fights. I just mean IMPORTANT issues. Stuff people file for divorce over after 4 months. If you find yourself walking on eggshells, or if you’re often angry, holding grudges, complaining to friends about your SO, or if you don’t get along with the prospective in-laws, whether they make you feel weird or they make it obvious they don’t like you, it’s time to hop on the bus, Gus.

Sounds like you’re at least off to a great start. KEEP GOING!! ! I’m looking forward to GOOD news in the next few months!

Ahhhhh, it's so nice to have some happy news.

It’s called “The Honeymoon Period,” in a new relationship for a reason. Hormones make people think and feel these things. We’ve evolved to be like that for the perpetuation of the species. It’s entirely normal. Sounds like you both have a handle on things, though, which is good - as just going with these thoughts and feelings could be disastrous for all involved by taking things way too far, way too soon.

Honeymoon period is likely over.

We still like each other and are making plans for every weekend between now and christmas.